Monday, December 03, 2007

High Jumps & Flat Tracks

Terry Poovey, Randy Waldrop, Sammy Sweet, Porky Rollins …… names that commanded respect in the world of Texas Flat Trace Motorcycle Racing in the 1970’s – legends that spoke of mechanical supremacy, fearless performance, and incomparable teamwork. Lost in time, these names have been almost forgotten among those who dared to experiment with extreme racing (as we know it today) during an era when a rider/driver had to spend as much time building a machine as riding it. Men who rode and built bikes that NEVER went straight – and had nothing more to challenge the racing Gods than a heavy steel shoe to keep the wayward vehicle from being “too loose” to ride to victory…….

Flat Track Racing in the 70’s was daring – Evel Knievel would be proud of the men who dared slide sideways on two wheels to take home a checkered flag that was often no more than a home-sewn relic. Men who traveled along the Texas/Louisiana borders in search of a victory that few would consider worthy of the time, money & effort it took to make a living on the short oval, they let their love of motorcycles and competition rule over conventional values and made them often misunderstood loners. It was just plain nuts; especially to the wives, girlfriends, and families who followed Short Trackers across the damp plains of Texas in search of elusive trophies won at the family’s rental expense. Texas Flat Trackers were driven – but by God knows what!

Few today are familiar or even remember Texas Short (or Flat) Track Motorcycle Racing in the 70’s – similar to NASCAR – Short Track is a constant series of left-hand turns where athletics meets the road – in other words, the only way to keep a wayward cycle from becoming a wall-bound projectile was to put one’s foot down – firmly – on the track, wearing a steel shoe designed to act as a third member in absentia. When it’s time to turn left, folks, the rider simply planted their foot on a dirty, gravel-impregnated, track and attempt to slide a 120-mph motorcycle sideways using only that left digit as a stabilizer. Yup – purely nuts!

Today, 61-year-old Porky Rollins of Crosby, Texas, remembers the days of glory with a bit of flippancy born of riding rockets that few could control today: “We just followed the money,” Rollins says of days when Nationally Ranked riders had to ply their trade against Texas locals capable (and willing) to kick their sideways asses into eternity. “We were better then most of the National numbers, but we didn’t have the dollars to beat ‘em in National competition.” Said Rollins, who’s local record lent credence to the fact that he could have been a National No.1 had the financial Gods swung his way. In the 70’s, Nationally-ranked riders had to compete on a local circuit with the likes of Randy Waldrop, Sammy Sweet, and Rollins himself , who stood out amongst the rest as a bike builder, rider, crew chief an guru we well as a competitor.

The world may have lost a daredevil along the likes of Evel Kenievel, but if, as a lasting legacy, the world can grasp and remember those who rode sideways on steel shoes in the 70’s – we haven’t lost the “extreme” history of two-wheeled sports at all.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Race Invaders! A Football (and Racing) Fable.



Let’s play “Pretend,” OK? Bear with me on this one, gang – I’m going to spin a tale, and I know it’s a stretch but I think you’ll see where I’m going with it:

Once Upon A Time…….

Let’s Pretend that the NFL has fallen upon financial hard times. New football safety rules created by The Commission have forced teams to expend beyond their budgets for new safety equipment and training personnel. The Commission has limited the amount of time a team can access their Commission-owned practice fields, forcing the few football teams with enough left in their kitties to build their own, or suffer in performance during the regular season.

Let’s Pretend that as the football season rolls on, it becomes painfully obvious that the only teams who will make it to the playoffs are the few with heavy-duty corporate financial backers – those who could afford the new expenses. In fact, several popular teams had to forfeit games because they couldn’t afford the plane fares and hotel expenses to travel! Sadly, several teams have folded altogether - unable to afford the capital or the stress caused by the "new" rules.

Let’s Pretend, that in order to survive, my Hometown Professional Football Team (who I’ve supported with my hard-earned dollars and my invaluable loyalty for years) has been contacted by a foreign corporation and offered an avenue to survival – sponsorship $$$. Coincidentially (or not), the Iaintfromaroundhere, gMbH, S.A., Ltd. Corp. also owns an International Soccer Team that at one time in the past was the envy of the planet. Seems the round-ball-with-spots passtime has also gone downhill in the last few years and my new “international” backer is looking for greener pastures – a new place to cash in on the exposure that comes from having their logo plastered all over my team’s uniforms and all over my city’s Super Stadium (which, BTW, is owned by the Commissioner’s sister).

Let’s Pretend that it’s offseason, and I’m looking forward to my team’s upcoming Draft picks – our chance to add the Heissman winner to our roster as well as a few more choice picks from the ranks of Collegiate players (some from my home state) who’ve devoted their youth (and their parents’ life savings) to making it to the pros.

BUT…..

Let’s Pretend that the Commission has decided to allow my Now-Corporate Co-Owner (who now has 51% controlling interest in my team) to forego the draft entirely – opting instead to allow them to fill my team’s ranks from their overseas Soccer team! Their rationale, I’m told, is that these are athletes who are just as qualified to play as our Collegiate hometown boys from U! After all, they can run, they can kick, they can hit things with their heads, and there’s a precedent! Didn’t the Detroit Lions let George Plimpton QB for a quarter way back in 1968? So there!

Let’s Pretend that I’m sitting in my living room, watching the opening season game. My team’s Quarterback is gone (now relegated to coaching Arena Football), replaced by the same superstar soccer guy who used to look down his nose at our “primitive” version of the sport. Our Running Backs are guys we’ve never seen before (with last names we can’t pronounce), and our Fullback, Center, and Special Teams can’t pronounce anything intelligible on camera except the name of the Sponsor! My favorite player – the one I’ve followed since Pop Warner days – is now sitting on the bench on the 4th string, allowing the new “International” players a chance at stardom and TV coverage. Let’s Pretend I’m trying to decide whether or not to renew my season tickets.

And finally, Let's Pretend that they lived Blissfully Ignorant Ever After (but with ample capital, a marketing office in New York City, and a Commissioner telling me this is sooooooo good for the sport!).

Let’s Pretend the same thing is happening in NASCAR! No. Wait. We don’t have to pretend anymore, do we?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

A Top Ten and an Bit of an Empty Nest

Somebody must have messed with the planets this week!
On Friday, we were hit with the news that our last remaining offspring had been approved for his first apartment. We had been halfway expecting our impending freedom from parenting for a while, but we weren't exactly given any specific date on which to expect the final kiddo to depart. The bomb was dropped, nonetheless, and we were faced with moving a 19-year old out into the world over the weekend. So.... just how NOT prepared can one be for the emotional empty spot that suddenly hits when you drop off that last load of “stuff”? Dave and I sat in the truck tonight after unloading the umpteenth truckload of “care packages” and looked at one another with audible “gulps” of realization that we are now Empty Nesters.

I can't speak for hubby, but I had to find some upsides to the whole thing (being the quintessential cockeyed-optimist) to keep from goin nutz. So, for posterity's sake, here are a few tips for those of you who will eventually need to seek the positive in losing an offspring to the big world outside:

- The former resident's “hazardous materials area” (a/k/a “bedroom”) can now become MY more sophisticated-sounding “Ruem du'Junque.”
- I really needed new living room furniture, and I still wield enough power to actually FORCE the child to take my old loveseat.
- Hubby can no longer ground me from visiting Bed, Bath & Beyond for new “necessities” for the kiddo.
- Four new empty walls on which to install NASCAR sheet metal.

- The ingredients necessary for tomorrow's planned meal will no longer mysteriously dissappear from the fridge overnight as if eaten by a giant rat that descends the staircase in the wee hours.

- Our internet should run faster without that 3rd PC downloading huge Anime cartoon files.

- I was gonna say we could run around nekkid, but he's already called to say he's coming back over to pick up a forgotten coax cable and some more bathtowels, so I guess that's out the window!

The good news is, in the midst of all this planetary confusion and emotional strife, SOMETHING went just as unexpectly RIGHT over the weekend:

SADLER GOT A TOP TEN!!!!

As much as I like to complain about my own aggravations of late, my NASCAR buddies have had a handful of their own! Not to mention my favorite driver! We got a few bright lights today, though – and JUST when needed, too! As an independent-thinking homo sapiens, I reserve the right to bitch and moan from time to time when the “Oval Facet” of my life tanks a bit – and I usually aim my slings and arrows Sadlerwise (Cuz, face it -- that's who I follow)!

I also have to eat a little crow from time to time! I did so today, as I listened to the #19's scanner and heard another seemingly head-bonkin battle bewteen a guy on the box (Ray) and a guy in the cawh (Elliott). I think I even opined in a race chat that Esad was being a little too complaintent in his insistence that problems lie in liner pressures vs. tire pressures, and whether it was a good time to pit or not.

Elliott Sadler was right.

Those of us who enjoy the antics of our Southern Gentleman sometimes get too caught up in the persona that shows up on weekly panel shows and self-effacing commercials to remember that this guy DOES know how to win a race. Even when it comes to details that differ in the opinion of the great Ray Evernham, Sadler stood up and expressed himself with no compunction, no apologies, and made a call that got him a Top 10 Finish in the Kansas race.

I guess sometimes you gotta listen to these kids, huh? Thanks, Will and Elliott – guess us old folks need to learn the hard way to have a little faith from time to time! Maybe that means that kiddo will do OK, too.

Go ahead. Mess with the planets!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Shine 'Em On!!!!

We have a saying down here that's used when you want to ignore someone without making them feel ignored. It's used when you want to make annoying SOBs go away, but you can't afford to offend 'em:

You just “Shine 'Em On!”

Shining on someone involves telling them whatever needs to be told in order to shut 'em up, leave 'em ignorantly happy, and with the full hope they won't realize that they're nothing more than an aggravation and necessary evil in the eyes of the “Shiner.”

Today, I'm watching the Richmond race from the comfort of my sofa – NOT, as planned, from a seat at Richmond International Raceway, and boy-howdy I'm glad! Hubby and I had planned for the better part of a year to make a return trip to VA this year for a NASCAR Fan Club event we were led to believe would be a repeat, annual shindig prior to the race, and to enjoy ourselves prowling about the Blue Ridge mountains for antiques. We're not there; and I'm not 100% sure, but I think we got shined on.

Tried to get info earlier in the year to confirm the event so we could make money-saving advance reservations, buy race tix, secure convenient hotel, etc. A race weekend for two, including airfare, costs appx. $2,000 per person – and advance planning on airfare is the only way many can afford to make the trip. Kept getting assurances that an event was in the works, but when I asked for further confirmation, well, I got shined on.

Good thing, too! Turns out Fan Club folks finally decided to forego the event entirely, and have opted for a 3 hour bowling alley appearance on a weeknight in another city all together. That's about an hour shorter than the average free autograph appearance for a NASCAR driver – and once again folks are being asked to pay for the privilege of attending (even though they've already paid annual FC dues). Attempts to find out why the sudden turn of events have been met with lots of sparkly shine.

I think I know why. Fame, fortune and celebrity cost a public figure dearly – loss of privacy, relinquishment of control over ones' time, schedule, and outside pursuits; the inability to venture forth in public without creating a scene and, sadly, the ever-present collection of maniac-fans who tend to make the rest seem an insurmountable threat to one's sanity. The compensation, though, is the upside. The obvious financial rewards of fame and fortune ensure the celeb the ability to live comfortably, and in peace and private AFTER the limelight has gone out. One way to tell when that's happened? There's nobody left to shine on anymore.

My hometown is full of “one-hit-wonders” and I've been around enough in the music biz to see how many are remembered and how many have been forgotten by all but the annoying maniacs. The former are the ones who created a legacy of loyalty by treating their admirers with respect, appreciation and making them feel a sense of value and participation in the end result which is a successful career. The latter? They just shined everybody on......................

Soooo – the next time my favorite NASCAR celebrity's staff emails me a request to support their benefits, subscribe to their club, enroll in their $20-a-month online games and passtimes – I hope they have on their sunglasses. I might start doin' a little shinin' of my own!

Monday, August 20, 2007

We Are Not Alone! (NASCAR Fans in Austin)!

It ain't easy being a NASCAR fan in in the Capitol of the Lone Star State! Seems my beloved Utopia of a hometown has everything imaginable to offer, with one notable exception: NASCAR fans. I swear there are days when I believe I'm the only NASCAR junkie in town – no race gear and souvies at our local auto parts stores, no Schrader Lil' Debbie cutouts at our convenience stores, no drivers opening new car dealerships on our “motor mile.” Granted, the soda machine at my Home Depot DOES have Tony Stewart on it, but it's from an era when he was rail-skinny and too young to grow whiskers! Hell, our local Wally Martinez has had the same Ryan Newman action figure hanging on the same peg since 2005!

It's not that Austin is oblivious to sports! It's just that most of our local athletic heroes race on the UT gridiron or on 2 wheels under pedal power. We're a town of old hippies, young technoxecutives, dot commers, lawyers, & politicians – none of which seem to attend the Church of the Holy Oval on Sundays. Mention a Bologna Burger or a Martinsville Stain-the-Bun-Red Hotdog to a local, and they'll run screaming from the aisles at Whole Foods. Ask the college kid at the neighborhood Megamedia franchise for the latest copy of NASCAR Illustrated, and he's likely to ask you if it's a coloring book! Yup, being a NASCAR fan in Austin is a lonely task.



But lo and behold – thanks to our local Time Warner Cable team, the folks at Discount Tire, Texas Motor Speedway, the Speed Channel, ESPN, David McDavid Acura and a good old Texas honkey tonk – we FINALLY had a real live NASCAR fans' get together in Austin! And people came! Mostly looking as amazed as I that there were others like us in town! Held at Scholz Garten, the oldest continuously-operating business in Texas (ca. 1866), attendees got a chance to enjoy some of the Austin's finest BBQ and lament over the rainout of the Michigan race, while trading good-natured jabs at one another over racing rivalries. Curiously, it seems that Austin NASCAR fans are a diverse demographic, as I spotted a huge variety of driver “colors” and tees – everything from Sterling Marlin, Dave Blaney, David Gilliland, Carl Edwards, and one poor Gordon fan who took quite a bit of ribbing after winning TWO of the day's door prizes – I believe someone suggested they go through post-win inspection! Conspicuously absent were members of the Jr. Nation – I think I saw one #8 shirt and another fella flying a DEI logo (albeit a small one).

Speaking of “swag” - the prize giveaways were no slouch, either. In addition to cool freebs from TMS (who brought “Ricky Bobby's” show car), Speed, and ESPN; Discount Tire gave away two $500 gift certificates, TMS threw in a VIP ticket package for the upcoming November race, and the finale was a drawing by Time Warner's Channel 8 News staff for an all-expenses paid trip for two to the October Charlotte race. I guess I don't have to tell ya we didn't win – or else you'd be reading about our upcoming travel arrangements! Nonetheless, it was a breath of fresh air to finally meet up with other NASCAR folk, do a little EA video-racing, bust our diets with some good food, and enjoy Sunday's “almost-race” with other locals of our ilk! Can Corn Dogs and Funnel Cakes at organic co-op be far behind?
Mounds of thanks to the event sponsors and to the kind folks at Scholz Garten for a major treat – and here's hoping we can do it again – SOON!


Friday, August 17, 2007

Ugly Dishes, Uglier Weather & Some Damn Fine Music!

.
I’m a “dish junkie.” Have been for too many years to count. I’m an obsessed collectaholic, married to another obsessed collectaholic, with a long line of ancestral collectaholics in the ‘ol family tree. In other words, I’m not looking to be cured of the addiction any time soon! I have; however, found a partial solution to make life bearable (and financially feasible) – I buy all the good, old dishes I can find (supports my addiction and need to “prowl”), and sell the stuff I don’t personally collect (yet) to fund more of same! Vicious cycle, I know, but a helluva lot of fun! That brings us to:

The World’s Ugliest Dishes

I have theories. When extraterrestrials arrive on the planet millennia from now, they’ll dig up the remains of the human race and find four things: 1) Nylon 6-Pack Rings; 2) Pampers; 3) Keith Richards; and 4) Royal China Co’s Dinnerware. Yup, transferware. The Holy Trinity of Transferware: Royal Currier & Ives, Colonial Homestead and Olde Curiosity Shoppe!

I am convinced that everyone in the known universe owns, or HAS owned a piece of Royal Transferware. Many refer to them as “Safeway Dishes,” as they were peddled at every grocery store in the free world back in the 60’s. Buy a dinner plate for .10 this week – and next week we’ll sell you the teapot for $1.00. Of course, the elusive teapots were always gone when the long awaited week rolled around, so you simply bought another .10 dinner plate.

No Thrift Shore, Junk Shop, or Flea Market in the US is without a token piece of Royal Transferware. That would be sacrilege! Why? Because you can’t sell the stuff for love nor money right now! It’s ugly! Back in the late 80’s, folks actually decided that this stuff was “collectible” for a while – of course, they were the same folks who liked Disco (tell you anything)? The trend died off quickly (thank God), and the offending dishes have now made their way back into the stream of commerce, clogging it up like a hairball in a drain. NOBODY wants these dishes. Don’t blame ‘em a bit.

So, if you are one of the incredibly rare individuals in the galaxy who has NEVER owned a piece of Royal Transferware, it is your solemn duty to go find a piece (and then get rid of it – if you can). Doing so will fulfill your destiny and give you the inalienable right to utter the immortal words: “Ewwwww! I had that stuff!” the next time you encounter a .10 dinner plate at a garage sale! You can always try to donate your unwanted transferware to the Pygmies in New Guinea, but I think they already have service for 40 and all they need is the teapot lid.

Hurricane Season – 2008

It’s that time of year again – Hurricane Season in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico! Texans react to hurricanes much like a flock of ground-sniffing pigeons to a car horn – they get up real close for a curious look-see and then explode in a feather-flying frenzy when frightened out of their wits – only to return again for another peek when things calm down.

I live in “central” Texas – a couple of hundred miles from the coast. We’ve had a record amount of rain in these parts recently, and flooding is no stranger to Austin. I don’t think; however, that we’ve had a major hurricane travel all the way up Congress Avenue any time in the past, so we’re fairly safe from worst that the Hurricane Gods dish out.



But you can’t convince us of that! Hurricane Dean is crouched at the entrance of the Gulf, promising to be a Category 4 or better when it enters our backyard kiddie pool of lukewarm water. Go try to buy a flashlight or a generator in the Lone Star State right now! Austinites are clearing the shelves of bottled water, batteries, gas cans and battery operated weather radios. Of course, no one in Austin will have use for any of this survival gear – and next Spring you’ll find weather radios, cheap flashlights, and slightly used generators for sale at your local flea market (right on top of the stacks of Royal Transferware). We’ll keep our fingers crossed for the best, though, for our friends further South. I can flush my toilet 3 times fast and flood half of Houston from here!

Moshing Flamingos & Some Great Blues!

I think I’ve found the perfect NASCAR post-race pastime! A free concert and an old movie at Videoranch - the brainchild of Texas’ own Michael Nesmith. Yes – THAT Mike Nesmith! He is remembered by many for his role in The Monkees, but his real claims to fame are the invention of the music video, the impetus for MTV, one of the first commercially successful “Southern” rockers, and his cutting-edge visions of music media which are lightyears ahead of the most savvy in the industry.

Based on the Second Life virtual world platform, Videoranch 3D is an online “resort” featuring live music events, discussion groups, book signings, movies, and more! Mike and Co. have built extremely lifelike and realistic cafés, lounges, saloons, amphitheaters, poolside retreats, drive-in theaters, and tropical islands; as well as some decidedly UN-lifelike fantasy features such as a giant floating Pie-in-the-Sky that can be visited and enjoyed via the avatar of your choice!

After Sunday’s slugfest at Watkins Glen, I found myself – like many racefans – with a surplus of adrenaline that left me wanting for SOMETHING else to do. I found it in spades at the Blue Horizon Amphitheater at Videoranch, where the “house band” Ranch Dressing were treating audiences to a live, streaming concert of incredible blues. In Videoranch, concerts are performed LIVE in the studio, and the band is actually visible live on the Blue Horizon stage. What’s more – the band can “see” the audience by virtue of screens in front of them, they are able to interact with the concert goers during breaks in their set, and avatars can “chat” with the band via keyboard. Sound quality is primo, and raucous classics by Jimmie Reed, John Mayall and Etta James are performed with gusto by an incredible group of musicians. There are no “bic lighters” at VR (yet) – so appreciation for the music is shown by turning oneself into a pink flamingo dancing a jig at the foot of the stage!

After the concert, avatars can “teleport” to the Drive-In theater, where classic movies, accompanied by chat, are a good way to kick back and relax with friends. Of course, during old “gangsta” flicks – users have a tendency to “chat” in the appropriate Cagney-esque lingo: “youse guys should check it out, see?”


I know many groups of NASCAR fans operate racetime “chats” during and after our Sunday roundy rounds, and hope you get a chance to visit Videoranch 3D and blow off post-race steam at this incredible venue! Who knows? If enough of us octane-sniffers haunt the resort – perhaps “Papa Nez” will build us a virtual track!? And wouldn’t an In The Attic podcast look great from the top of a Pie-In-The-Sky? (Yes, Pete & Rachel – it’s a hint!)

You can visit Videoranch 3D here and check out upcoming events!

http://www.videoranch.com/html/frhomepage.html

Monday, July 30, 2007

#$%^$#!!!!! (a term found in weather and racing)!

I’m back! Our recent “liquid” weather in Central Texas spawned a thunderboomer that ate my faithful old laptop a few weeks back. The result has become a true exercise in marital compromise, as hubby Dave is as committed to his online endeavors (World of Warcraft) as I am to mine! We now “share” the gaming PC, and woe be unto the NASCAR fan who wants to use the system during a Naked Gnome Race or a Endgame Guild Raid. Hopefully, we’ll have this dilemma rectified shortly, as soon as I decide whether or not my sanity can handle Windows Vista! It’s been a while since I’ve aggravated myself with a new operating system!


Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature!

Seems the Evernham Motorsports staff has finally uncovered a major flaw in their newfangled PLM system dataset. Seems the digitheads at EMS have been testing cars with different dynamics than those that wind up on the track – a MAJOR engineering flaw that languished 5 months without discovery. In response, EMS performed a “system restore” of sorts, and returned to a prior-year car for the Indy race – a move that SHOULD have proven at least somewhat fruitful.

Not much, tho. Listening to the #19 Team’s scanner during the race, it was apparent that Ray Evernham did everything to the ill-handling car but change the paint – all to no avail. At one point, racechat chums and I opined that they should just jack the thing up and shove a 4 x 4 underneath. The good news is – Sadler finished 28th instead of 33rd (again) and to a fan of the Southern Gentleman – it’s an improvement.

Having programmed in a past life (I actually remember some PASCAL & Fortran code and the Unix vi Editor!), I’m fairly certain it will take the EMS techies a few weeks to correct their baseline dataset, regenerate all their engineering data specs, and manufacture parts to comform. No small feat during the final races before the chase, but I’m betting we’ll see some more improvement as time goes along.




One thing is apparent, tho – especially after listening to ESPN’s interviews with Dale Sr.’s former compadres who touted his ability to handle an evil-driving car. Sadler is gaining more than his fair share of similar experience, and the fact that he’s been able to keep ill-handling rides out of walls and other cars will do nothing but improve his performance stats once the bugs are ironed out. Yeah, I’m an optimist!

Expletive (NOT) Deleted!

Talk about instant karma! Just as I was complimenting Tony Stewart on winning a race without issuing accusations and throwing barbs at other drivers – KABOOM. The BS Bomb. ESPN decided to forego it’s broadcasting “safety delay” – apparently believing that former Champion drivers wouldn’t DARE take their 1st Amendment rights to the limit at such a time. Poor judgment on ESPN’s part! I think a new rule of thumb for ANY media entity is to ASSURE a delay is in place before allowing a mic anywhere near the Man in Orange!



Sadly, Tony Stewart’s public behavior has taken such a dismal downward spiral of late, it’s hard for even a Sunshine Pumper like me to look for points on which to defend him. His last forays into public embarrassment have resulted in making light of (and almost advocating) irresponsible alcohol consumption and now Mr. Smoke has shown the world that literacy, articulation, and self-discipline are NOT hallmarks of our sport. Thanks, Tony – you went a long way in maintaining the NASCAR stereotype with your BS! Glad I’m not a parent with a young Stewart fan among my offspring – we’d have to talk!

But is it really ALL Tony’s fault? Granted, he behaves with ever-increasing bitterness and seems to be almost TRYING to offend anyone and everyone who approaches him with a mic – but isn’t that what the media EXPECTS? Or WANTS? Tony “The Mouth” is a story, and I’m going to hand the press a slice of the blame pie for keeping the seemingly endless cycle of bad behavior pedaling along. Stewart has actually been ENCOURAGED by the media to behave badly – hence a weekly “forum” on Sirius where he’s publicized, egged on, and rewarded for bad behavior. I’ve joined the club of “non-listeners” when it comes to Tony’s weekly show – perhaps if enough folks did likewise it would send a message (without using expletives)!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Ladybird Johnson - A Humble Thanks


There is nothing like Springtime in Central Texas! Our summers are best described as “crispy” – ever-present droughts keep things a bit on the “beige” side landscapewise. “Winter” is simply void of color. “Fall” is a mythical season that lasts appx. 15 minutes, if we get it at all.

Spring is an overnight explosion of color – a blast that awakens us from months of dreary shades. A sudden reminder that nature’s rebirth is a miracle. Simply put – I don’t think there’s a Texan alive who doesn’t utter the colloquial “WHOA!” when first presented with that first unexpected view of a Bluebonnet laden hillside or a field of Indian Paintbrushes. Texas wildflowers THE sign of Spring in these parts – an annual rite that we both subconsciously expect, but also marvel at; as if we’re seeing the phenomenon anew each year. Texas wildflowers are the “adrenalin” that kicks us squarely out of our winter slumber and fills us with ambition for things to come.

Hard to imagine that our annual rite of passage is mainly the responsibility of one woman. Ladybird Johnson was, and IS, at the very heart of the miracle that is Texas Springtime. An environmentalist of the highest order, it was Mrs. Johnson who first brought to bear the “Highway Beautification Act” of 1965 that brought our gemlike wildflowers out of hiding in the nooks and crannies of the Hill Country and placed them foresquare across the land. It was her love of native flora that prompted her to share the beauty of God’s most delicate creations with all Texans. Ladybird Johnson gave us our wildflowers.


Mrs. Johnson passed away yesterday at age 94. She turned a life of political darkness into a lifetime of service to the cosmos. What a woman – what a legacy!

Thanks for the flowers, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks for Springtime.

Friday, May 18, 2007

EMS, PLM & COT (e.i.e.i.o!)


A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an Industry Week Magazine webcast entitled 'Redefining the Race: How Evernham Motorsports' PLM Strategy Drives NASCAR's Most Innovative Race Team.' While the webcast is primarily a promotional piece for EMS’ engineering software provider, Dassault Systemes, I found it an extremely enlightening view into the inner workings of EMS – and into a few of the current “non-workings” as well!

Evernham uses the “PLM” (Product Lifecycle Management) business model to field cars each week. Simply put, PLM is the process of managing the entire lifecycle of a product from its conception, through design and manufacture, to service and disposal. Using PLM methodologies, EMS functions as an automobile manufacturing company – one that has to bring a new product to market 36 times a year! PLM cuts time to market drastically, but is manpower and equipment heavy – two factors which require considerable capital. Capital, as we all know, is in short supply in many NASCAR teams nowdays – thanks in no small part to the new “product” that must now be brought to market – the COT.

One point made during the webcast was the ability of EMS’s PLM software to access shop data from the track during raceday, and and to communicate online with realtime engineers from the track. In a perfect techno-world, Josh Browne would be able to enter track, performance, weather, surface, temp, etc. variables into his laptop atop the pit box – and voila! The computer would indicate the needed adjustments based on these variables. Problem is – no historical data exists yet for many of the variables faced this season – new track surfaces, new nosecones on existing cars, funky weather, new tire compounds. In effect there may well be too many “first-time” situations facing EMS this season to make their investment in the PLM discipline pay off in the near term.

So, until EMS’s Magic 8 Ball starts producing useful information – we experience mediocrity. Heavy reliance on technology for crucial solutions doesn’t always deliver, and there are times when all the pocket-protector wearing, geek speaking race technobes in the world can’t help if they are unable to effectively handle the one CONSTANT that exists each week – communication with the driver.

To my knowledge, no software company has been able to successfully code “The Sadler Variable.” In order to correctly interpret the data coming from the driver of the #19 car (and every other car, for that matter) – it takes an entirely different set of HUMAN skills. Sadly, it’s these skills that seem strained on both sides of the scanner on raceday – and frustration is becoming increasingly apparent. This translates to the fan base as conflict between driver and crew chief. Whether such conflict actually exists is the cause of much speculation in the peanut gallery, and the sudden appearance of “Sports Psychologists” in the halls of EMS. I wish them luck – finding a perfect fit between driver and crew chief, particularly one that can survive the stresses and strains of a mediocre season, is NOT an easy task. If a personnel change is in the cards for the #19 team, it’s a sure-fire bet that MORE resources ($$$) will be required in order to tie up contracts.

I realize I’m often accused of being a cockeyed optimist when it comes to the #19 – but in this case I still think my stubborn loyalty is rightly placed. The #19 has finished every race (remember all the blown motors last year?), has stayed out of the wall, has minimized pit row penalties, and has had mid-pack finishes despite all the factors seemingly working against a win. Taken in context, the 2007 Season can boast MANY improvements over 2006, but fans have short-term memory when it’s been a while since the last trip to victory lane.

And for the record, I think EMS will eventually win the REAL Chase this year -- The 2007 Race To The Bank will help them bring home some Cup trophies before too long.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'm Baaaack!

Yep, I had the crud. And did it up right, too! “Acute bronchitis” was the doc-in-the-box’s diagnosis, and I resisted the urge to tell him that I fail to see anything cute about coughing up chunks. Nonetheless, with nothing but time on my hands for the last four days, I had every intention of making my convalescence productive. Update the blog, catch up on my reading, work on some crafts – NOT! Thanks to some magic formula cough syrup in a brown prescription bottle, I discovered that it’s pretty near impossible to type (let alone read) while unconscious. Nevertheless, the goop did the trick and I’m back to my (ab)normal self. Soooooo……

It’s 6.7 Now, Right?

Dave and I heard the news last night and, in unison, we cried “He’s changed his numberrrrrrrrr!” That’s right – Junior is leaving DEI -- and in what has to be the most media-savvy move of the decade -- he’s left it at that. In the span of a few hours, the media (and the public) have commenced churning out every scenario imaginable with regard to Little E. The Childress/Hendrick deals are obviously the most popular theories, but I’ve come up with a few hypothesis of my own for your consideration. How ‘bout:

- HRM/JR Motorsports, Ltd.: In secret meetings in KY last week, The King met with the Queen regarding the formation of a joint Euro/American racing team with the unlimited resources of the British Empire (the only possible way to compete with Hendrick). With the full intention of courting Dale Jr., her majesty promised that Tony would be retained as Crew Chief, consequently Blair announced his resignation as Prime Minister today.

- Jr. LIVE!: Not to be outdone by Tony Stewart -- Jr. simply sets the stage for his new Sirius Radio program by creating controversial call-in subject matter in advance. “Tell Me Where To Go!” with Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is expected to eclipse Smoke’s show in popularity.

- Crazy Mutant Desert Guys Motorsports, Inc.: Dale unwittingly discovered the ultimate pit crew during the filming of his Superbowl commercial, and is building a truly “indie” team around his new friends.

- “I’m just messin with ya’ll. I’m staying with DEI. No harm done, huh?”

I’m sure there are one or two more I’ve not thought of yet, but hey -- I been sick!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

OK, back to music for a bit…..

I had a lifelong dream fulfilled last night!! Pete Townshend’s long-lost and legendary Lifehouse Method project has at last become reality. Method went “online” yesterday, and I was able to “sit” for two musical portraits using the new system. I’m completely enthralled with the end result and totally humbled by the fact that I’m participating in an endeavor which fulfills Pete’s lifelong dream to see this project through.

If you’re in eye-shot of this blog – I urge you to “sit” for a composition. But first, you ask, just what is Lifehouse Method? Well, let me go back in time a bit to explain……………

It was one of those experiences that gets indelibly burned into the brain. I was 13 years old and babysitting for some friends across the street from my parents’ house in Conroe , Texas -- nearly midnight , and my charges were fast asleep. The patriarch of the household was a stereophile who had amassed an incredible system equipped with a pair of Koss headphones so massive with insulation they weighed a ton. Late night FM radio in Houston was still a rather dubious affair – the infamous Crash Collins was known for his smoky growl and strange “inhaling” noises while spinning the some really heavy vinyl and the tell-tale spaces of dead air (indicating that he’d once again nodded out). I wasn’t allowed to listen to such “garbage” at home.
Collins must have had some really good stuff that night, because he decided (perhaps inadvertently) to spin an entire album side (rare in those days) from the Who’s 1971 album “Who’s Next.” Townshend, the creative force behind the Who, had earlier in 1969 penned the first Rock Opera – "Tommy" – and I remember thinking “Well, if this is half as good……” When the opening synthesizer riff began, I was instantly mesmerized as if something internal was vibrating in harmony with the song. As Townshend’s initial power chord struck, I was totally captivated. When Entwistle’s thunderous bass finally joined the fray, I was awestruck, captivated and I knew I had found my anthem – Baba O’Riley! I immediately struck out to learn more about the album, the band, and eventually the concept that lay underneath some of the best rock-n-roll ever heard!

I was surprised to learn that the hypnotic synth riff that opens “Baba” was actually constructed using personal DATA about Townshend’s Spiritual Leader, Meher Baba, that had been somehow fed into an algorithm which transformed it into music! In fact, the entire Who’s Next album was indeed a collection of songs salvaged from a failed project conceived by Pete to gather vital statistics from individuals and reflect this information back to the audience in the form of music. “Lifehouse” as the project was called, was another rock opera of sorts – a story set in the future when humanity was controlled by the government via stimuli force-fed to them over a “GRID” – a hardwired information network with leads to each individual called “experience suits.” The protagonists in Townshend’s story were rebels who managed to free humanity by hacking into the Grid and flooding it with music. This music, created by their own algorithms, culminated in a crescendo so powerful and celestial it took down the Grid.


While the story was fiction (at the time) – Pete’s desire to find the “lost chord” via synthesized information wasn’t. Additionally, he aimed to make performance a two-way street wherein the audience participated in the creative process. At one point, Townshend had actually gathered a group of subjects in the Old Vic Theater in London to attempt this artist/audience interaction. The project failed mainly due to the fact that Townshend lacked the complex technical equipment to process the information. The few songs he had written to score the original Lifehouse opera were pieced together and released as the seminal “Who’s Next.” Practically no one knew the backstory!

By the time I had discovered Who’s Next, Lifehouse had already faded into rock-n-roll lore, rarely mentioned by journalists and audiophiles. What a shame, I thought – that such an enigmatic idea should languish. Lifehouse was always on my list of musical “if onlys.”

And then, along came the Grid.

I have to snicker to myself whenever the argument over “who predicted the internet” points an appreciative finger in Al Gore’s direction. As the net grew, many remembered Townshend’s vision of a society grown complacent compliments of their addiction to an orchestrated information feed. New technology flooded the music industry, allowing artists to experiment with input, output and everything in between. In 1999, Townshend resurrected Lifehouse, finally mixing and re-arranging the now classic Who’s Next tracks back into their original form.

The world finally heard the Lifehouse opera on BBC Radio on December 5, 1999 – but it was simply a “performance” and NOT the collaborative effort Townshend’s rebels of the Grid. In order to truly complete Lifehouse – the music had to be a 2 way street.

Enter Mathemetician/Compser/Philosopher Lawrence Ball, Programmer Dave Snowdon. Since 1999, Pete has ridden the helm of an ambitious endeavor to create the software program that would allow an individual to provide personal samples/images/data and have the information transmographied into a unique musical “portrait.” An interpretive work of audio art particular to one person – reflective of their mood, voice, etc. The final piece of the Lifehouse puzzle was finally complete, and on May 1, 2007 it was put into place – The Method went public.

Initially, participants may “sit” for 3 pieces of music. In order to interact with the software, you are asked to provide a sample of your voice, an image, a sound, and a rhythm. In return, the system composes your 5-minute musical portrait. The results are astounding! The Method will be open to the public until July, and eventually many of the “portraits” will be combined into a larger work which will be performed live! Having spent many decades wondering “what if” with regards to Lifehouse – I can say I am absolutely elated that my "what if" dream has at long last turned into a reality that exceeded my expectations tenfold!

Be a rebel and sit for your own musical portrait!

www.lifehouse-method.com

Listen to yourself in an entirely new way!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Monday Mulling…….

Whaddya know!…..
I guess NASCAR radar must have picked up a signal from the hinterlands! The Talladega Freight Train came and went with only a few debris cautions and voila! We saw debris!!! Of course, Talladega is a convenient place for NASCAR to redeem itself. Face it – there’s not much need to “bunch up” the pack when you have 43 cars that actually WANT to run single file! But I’ll give ‘em credit for making sure WE knew that something was on the track when the yellow flew. Let’s see what shows up on TV screens at the next few intermediate tracks where a REAL motive exists for “manipulation” of the pack!

Verborrhea…….

I can’t get inside of Tony Stewart’s head. If I could, I’d probably hear: “I showed ‘em it’s not a good idea for me to speak to the press immediately after I fail to win a race!”

He would be right. Smoke’s comments directed at David Gilliland after Sunday’s race were harsh, derrogatory, bullying and just flat crossed the line. Lousy timing, Tony! Remember – you bolstered many fans' & mediamembers' “perceptions” that NASCAR was dealing off the bottom with bogus cautions. Just when we (and NASCAR) seemingly took you seriously and we saw that constructive measures MIGHT occur in response to your tirade – you pitch an adolescent hissy fit and move from the “torch bearer” category to the “petulant buffoon” column in less than 10 words! I’ll bet Helton is breathing a HUGE sigh of relief! Way to go, idjit! Do me a favor, Tony..... shut up and drive for a while, OK? Stop acting like a no-talent broadcaster who simply lucked into a radio show!

Burning (flipping, spinning, banging) Busch……
If you believe in Karma – I’m sure you’ll agree that Kyle Busch’s cosmic slate ought to be clean after Saturday & Sunday’s wrecks. Over the course of the weekend, I received SEVERAL calls from anti-Shrub buddies saying “Poor kid - I feel sorry for him!” So do I! Kyle is a talented driver who is still a few years shy in the age department of reaching public maturity (an excuse Tony DOES NOT have for shooting off at the mouth). Besides, compared to The Man In Orange lately, Kyle's downright eloquent!

Happy Birthday!......
It's Elliott Sadler's birthday, so here's wishing him a very happy 32nd!

Local Stuff......
Got to spend the day at Thunderhill Raceway (a/k/a "My Classroom") in Kyle, Texas this past Saturday. I love this place! I typically get a better education in a few hours at this track than I could possibly glean by reading the net & watching TV. I'm still trying to gain some familiarity with the myriad series that run here -- but the variety is amazing. On Saturday, we watched everything from Ford Pintos & Karmann Ghias battling like crazy, to NASKARTS (I want one), to Legends (mini-IROCs?), Late Models (cars I actually RECOGNIZE from my youth), Hobby Stocks (Aunt Edna's Buick) & TSRS Modifieds (vroom)!

Once again, our benevolent Jedi came down from Big D with his RV, so we had a primo place to cool off and catch up on the Busch race. Ringside seats at the drivers' meeting and weigh-ins were a treat, and Dave (ever the carpenter) even got tapped to help build the Victory Lane Backdrop! We even came home with some "souvies" -- 2 more SRT's! (Stinky Racing Tires!) I feel a pair of end-tables coming on!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Debris or No Debris – THAT’s the Perception!

Is is Racing or Wrestling? Is it Live or is it Memorex? Is it Spontaneous or Scripted? Is it a Sport or America ’s latest made-for-TV drama? Are we enjoying our favorite pastime or are we being taken to the cleaners by the France empire?

Regardless of your opinion – you KNOW you’ve asked yourselves the questions….

Tony Stewart has finally given public voice to a big issue in “stock” car racing – exemplified by the seemingly scripted and way-to-conveniently timed "competitition cautions" called by NASCAR Officials for alleged debris on the track. Smoke has certainly minced no words, and while it’s one thing to read such stinging, controversial opinions from the media and internet peanut galleries – it’s entirely another matter when one (or more) of NASCAR’s most talented drivers and 2-time Champions confirms these hypotheses out loud. NASCAR is fake and we’re all ignoramuses with open pocketbooks?

Ouch!

OK, so I’m not ready to put my TMS season tickets up on eBay yet. But I have grown past that stage of NASCAR naivete that many seem to cling to so longingly. This isn’t your father’s NASCAR – it’s a marketing-driven sports enterprise and a privately owned mega-corporation. While I don’t believe our sport is entirely “fixed” – I certainly believe it is manipulated for reasons OTHER than safety!

Show It or Throw It!

IF (and I use the conjunction delicately) these pesky “debris” cautions are indeed in response to a concern for safety….. (i.e. IF something has actually been observed on the track …) SHOW IT! NASCAR can put a camera on a red-hot brake rotor and a GPS that beams the car’s precise position to my PC. If a hotdog wrapper has created a safety issue – it’s a relatively simple matter to display (or at very least describe) the offending offal during a race broadcast. Give us a paragraph on Tuesday along with the penalty reports summarizing each of those “debris” cautions! I’d gladly give up the right to “vote in” a driver on Trackpass – if you’ll give me ONE channel of NASCAR Race Control on my PC each and every Sunday!

When an actual SAFETY issue occurs (like flaming cars skidding upside down across the track -- REGARDLESS of what lap we're on), THROW IT! It’s these inconsistencies that remove all credence from NASCAR’s “safety first” response to Tony’s rant.

NASCAR has within its power the ability to do some very constructive damage control -- and in the fans' eyes damage control is sorely needed! If the governing body wishes to reverse this perception of “scripted races” and redeem themselves (somewhat) in the eyes of the fans (and drivers), they can take the high road rather easily. If not – the manipulation will continue and even the most casual race fan will be lured into believing that we're simply watching a 4-wheeled version of WWF. Don’t take the road to Vagueville, Brian -- SHOW US that you don’t think we’re fools!


While we're at it....

Want some REAL competition? Take the “actual” debris found on the track, show it on TV, and then put the scrap up on eBay! A heftybag that cost a major driver a race (and perhaps a Championship) ought to fetch a pretty penny from us morons!! You can use the money to put SAFER barriers ALL around the Great Wall in Daytona (safety is a priority -- just ask Jimmy Johnson or Jeff Fuller!)

And while you’re shopping in Bejing, Brian, you might want to let the PR folks know that it looks REALLY bad to us fans to have you running off to start a new series in China just as Kentucky Speedway is suing you for anti-trust violations!

But we’re ignorant! What do we know?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Remember When All We Had To Learn About Was RACIN???


Like many, I have my morning routine pretty down pat. I check my email, then start making my rounds of bookmarked sites. Chief among my NASCAR stops are several journalists’ blogs, as well as key online periodicals – and I’ve recently added a new one near the top of the list:

The Wall Street Journal.

It’s fairly obvious that I’m an Elliott Sadler fan, and therefore I’m among the multitudes who are trying to understand why our driver isn’t being sprinkled with confetti and doused with soda at the end of the race. It’s been a pretty dismal season, and the knee-jerk reactions have run the gamut. Many want to place blame in the drivers’ and/or crew chief’s laps, while others are blaming the owner, the engineers and/or the fabricators. Some blame just about everyone!



For myself, I’ve learned (most of the time), to keep my blaming fingers curled inward until I do a little research. Things are not always as they seem, and in Sadlers’ (and EMS) case – there’s a lot more going on in Detroit, Michigan and Stuttgart, Germany than in Statesville, NC or Emporia, VA!

The Chrysler Sale





It looks as if Dodge’s parent company, Germany’s Daimler/Chrysler, is serious about selling off the Chrysler portion of its’ operation to a private equity firm. There are numerous bidders, and the sale looks likely within the next 4-6 weeks according to Wall Street and Detroit pundits. Will a new Chrysler owner commit to the same estimated $100 million annually to keep a presence in NASCAR – it’s ONLY racing endeavor? It seems unlikely that a new owner with a need to compete with America’s NEWEST #1 automaker – Toyota – will resist the urge to streamline it’s budget.

BUT……

The UAW (who reportedly opposes the sale) is in the midst of collective bargaining with Daimler/Chrysler. If a sale is eminent, the UAW may be forced to make concessions in its contract negotiations in order to entice Stuttgart into keeping the truck-heavy Chrysler lines intact. When unions make concessions (particularly in health care and retirement benefit packages) – they lose members AND dues. If they manage to help salvage Chrysler by drastically cutting employee benefits – THEY might be the ones who need to “streamline” their budget!

BUT……

Many of the drive train parts for Mercedes Benz are made by Chrysler plants in the US. Shedding the marque will DEFINITELY cost the Benzers in the long run. And German workers have representatives, too!
So….. What’s This Got to Do With NASCAR?

Eggs! That’s what. My EMS #19 car has all its hardboileds in the same German-owned and Labor-Unionized basket.

Although there are several “Dodge” teams – only our two EMS cars are sponsored by the “manufacturer” via it’s dealership network IN PARTNERSHIP with the UAW. There is no “Ford Dealers Ford” or “Chevy Dealers Chevy” – let alone one who’s partnered up with a labor union that is at times diametrically opposed to the manufacturer’s profit potential! From where I sit – it seems that anything fortuitous that befalls EITHER of our primary sponsors in this upcoming “deal” is going to take potential NASCAR sponsorship money out of the other’s pocket.
And right now – it’s that very money that’s much needed to boost Evernham’s chassis engineering staff and put Ray back in the shop (as opposed to pounding the pavement for a partner). Evernham, himself, stated on Sirius last week that his forte was under the hood rather than in the boardroom – so here’s hoping a new financial partner will have the B2B expertise needed to find a sponsorship marriage that doesn’t repeat the current reliance on all things Dieter Zetsche!

Lest we also forget – The UAW Daimler/Chrysler 400 (a/k/a the Las Vegas Race) has already been run for 2007. If a reduction in NASCAR financing is on Dr. Z’s mind – will he pull funding for the 2008 premier-sponsorship of the next Vegas extravaganza – or will he pull the greenbacks from the (marginally performing) cars on the track?



As for me – I have a sneaking suspicion that the sale will move forward with Daimler/Chrysler keeping enough stake in the company to ensure an economical supply of Benz parts. Will their presence in racing decline?

That’s why I’m checking the Journal!

The “Legends” of TMS – Part III

Ahhhh. Raceday! The cosmos FINALLY gave us the weather we had been hoping for all week, and we happily discarded the earmuffs in exchange for the sunscreen and tank tops! While my out-of-towners did NOT get a full weekend of nice weather – they certainly got a good example of Texas weather in general: unpredictable!
As with any endeavor that involves 5 women and an early morning appointment – we started the day running late. Race day traffic entering the TMS complex was a booger, and by the time we located parking and schlepped our gear to the infield, we were running late for our planned gathering, but ready to rock-n-roll nonetheless.
We didn’t leave disappointed, though – and once again serendipity smiled on us and we managed to hook up with our “objective” for a little celebration. (Endless thanks to Mr. G. for once again making time where none seemed to exist!) As I turned to depart, I caught sight of a group of gentlemen chatting near the exit. Something looked familiar – and then it hit me: RICHARD PETTY! I was standing mere feet from The King himself (and I had one HELLUVA crush on him as a teenager)! It was at this point that my brain shut off.
I guess Mr. P is accustomed to the sounds of jaws hitting the pavement – and if so he certainly got a symphony from us! What an absolutely delightful, courteous and considerate man! He took the time to sign autographs for everyone, (and me all blubbery and whompityjawed), AND he thanked US for being there! HE thanked US! Now that, dear friends, is why he’s THE KING!

There’s only one thing that could even come close to holding a candle to the mornings’ adventures – and that’s HAULER SHOPPING. It was at this point that Dave’s brain shut off. He had managed to keep us safely away from the haulers for most of the weekend, but in true Kamikaze form, we broke free and headed for lootville to fill shopping lists for friends, family and of course – US!

Imagine the logistics of keeping 5 women with different shopping agendas and different rates of travel all together in a crowd of 250,000. We managed to keep everyone together with one exception – we briefly lost Mel when we were distracted at the Raceday stage, (I guess it was Hermie’s fault!) , but we managed to track her down before getting seated for the pre-race. Is it just my generation of Kubrick kids – or does the sight and sound of a B-52 flying low overhead give anyone else those “Dr. Strangelove” goosebumps?

As much as I hate to admit it, the race was somewhat of a snoozer. Long green-flag runs, mediocre performance from the EMS guys, and little passing in general kept us off the edges of our seats. I had more fun watching the Jr. fans and the Gordon fans as they baited one another until Jr.’s car got “keelt” by a wayward Shrub. Sadly, many of Jr.’s fans left the grandstands unaware that he was piloting the #5 in the final laps.

At about midpoint during the race – I wondered why there was so much “stuff” floating and swirling around us. I finally dug the glasses out of the backpack and realized that we were being swarmed by honeybees! Hundreds of obviously allergic folks bailed out of their seats. I’ve seen lots of strange stuff in my time, but a honeybee swarm during a Cup race is way up near the top of my “WTF” list!

Alas, the race was over (and rather early, too, owing to the long green-flag runs) and it was time to head back to the hotel for our last night together before half our group departed on Monday. We managed to coax Mel into coming back to Austin with us rather than spending a day in Dallas alone, and I’m glad we did! Got to do a little late-night sightseeing in the Capitol City before sending everyone packing for home.



What a wonderful experience! As many of you know, we managed to prove to ourselves and to others that former bitter rivals can put their racing opinions and differences aside and become good friends, and regardless of which driver’s “colors” we flew – we all came away from TMS with some “victories” under our belts. Is it November yet?






Monday, April 23, 2007

The “Legends” of TMS- Part II

A good rule of thumb with Texas weather is that the stronger the thunderstorm, the colder the front that spawned it. This rule held true on Saturday as we awoke to painfully cold temps and strong winds. My friends from North of the Mason Dixon were suddenly giving me the stinkeye as we headed off to the Track Souvie Shop to stock up on all the cold weather gear I told them to leave at home. “Bring you shorts & flip flops!” I suggested, “It’ll be hot & sunny!”

In retribution, they made me ride in the cargo hold all the rest of the weekend.

Hats off (or ON) to the TMS Gift shop. They had properly stocked the store with reasonably priced gloves, ear warmers, jackets & scarves. Thus bundled up, we headed back to the infield for Cup Practice. Dave immediately located the Goodyear shop and happily quizzed the techs on matters rubber, Merri and I located peach spots immediately in front of the inbound garage side, while Robin, Mel & Alnee covered the Garage Exit. I had completely forgotten NOT to leave those three without adult supervision!

Many megs of digital pics later, we headed to our seats for the Busch race. But NOT before a lengthy session at the Racing Electronics hauler for a remedial course in Scanner Programming. After explaining our plight (a waaaaay too complicated scanner and two waaaaay too feeble brains), we were advised that the kindly lady who had sold us the moster back in November was no longer with the company. Obviously, she was the only other person on the planet who understood the evil HAL9000 Technonightmare Model Scanner, and it took all three hauler employees to first figure out and then explain WHICH 3 buttons to push to program in a driver. Eureka!

I had a true rock-n-roll moment on the way to our seats for the Busch race! The South tunnel which runs under the track is, in effect, a large corruated conduit pipe. The race had started as we entered the tunnel, and the acoustics of were freakin incredible! The tunnel picks up the low end of the sound spectrum as the cars pass over, and the end result is akin to a raging battle between Entwistle and Moon! Hell, you coulda left me in the tunnel and I’d have been perfectly content with the rumble!

Using the Busch race as scanner-practice, we decided to listen to Kasey Kahne in the 9 car. Anyone who would like to intelligently continue the “Sadler Communication Quality” discussions needs to spend some time listening to Kasey.

CC: “Did that adjust make the car better?”
KK: “It’s pretty much the same, but kinda different.”

Dave and I had to laugh out loud several times as the Loose-Tight-Loose drama played out with a driver who seems to raise “vague” to an artform far beyond anything the Southern Gentleman has been accused of! According to KK, the setup problems were very similar on his Cup car in practice, lending credence to the fact that recent Evernham performance issues might originate in the shop, rather than between CC’s and drivers. Callers who feel the need to skewer Josh and/or Elliott on Sirius Radio might want to listen a bit more carefully to Ray’s show! May a strong financial partner come along soon!

The Busch race left us famished, so we beat feet back to RV land for an evening with Mr. & Mrs. Lugnut. More gracious hosts don’t exist! Due to the location of our vehicle in relation to both the track and RV lot, they kindly shuttled us to and from our destinations, and treated us to some primo steaks and wonderful spaghetti! Many, many thanks to Phil & Jenell for their kindnesses!

I must admit I wasn’t quite prepared for the cultural spectacle that is the backstretch RV lot! The distinctly Mardi Gras-like atmosphere (complete with bead throwing in exchange for bodacious tatas), made for some of the best people watching ever! Not to be left out, we took advantage of the fact that we were in possession of a number of unused racing waffles, left over from the Trackside cancellation. Now, everyone knows it’s a sin to let a good Eggo go to waste, so we decided to see if the “aero” qualities of the All-American Racing Waffle were all they were cracked up to be!

Tomorrow we’ll get around to Part III – the final chapter in our TMS saga! Stay tuned!

Weekend Break

TMS Part II is forthcoming! I promise! Had to take a little break over the weekend to travel East and visit the kinfolks. What a treat! It's been quite a while since we've made the trip to Willis to see my parents and my ornery Grandma, and it gave hubby and I an opportunity to enjoy a leisurely drive through the beautiful countryside and to do a little "prowling" for antiques in Brenham and Carmine!

As many of you know, Dave and I are incurable collectors. Our respective major obsessions, Akro Agate glass and Fiestaware are getting scarce in our neck of the woods, so it's a real treat when we BOTH make some good finds! As luck would have it, I managed to snag some vintage stuff (Yellow Fiesta relish base, cobalt covered sugar and teacup), as well as some discontinued Chartreuse & New Cobalt pieces! Alas it looked like we'd once again go home with no Akro for Dave, but as we rounded the corner in a dusty attic shop in Brenham -- there it was! AKRO! PRIMO Akro!! Oxblood & White AND Cobalt & White cig jars, a Yellow Ribbed Flute shallow bowl, AND a green Thumbpot! I know this sounds like jibberish to non-collectors -- but to hubby and I it's pure gold! Picture a couple of fat, middle-aged crazies in matching Sadler T-Shirts running around an antiques store high-fiving and yelling "SCORE!!!!" I'll bet the clientele thought we were referring to racing!! Let 'em wonder!

Tonight, the rest of TMS will be up, along with some pics of our cool finds! Who knows, maybe we can coax more of our NASCAR friends into collecting weird stuff!


Edited to add "loot!"


Friday, April 20, 2007

A Pause to Remember

While I'm working on TMS - Part II, I wanted to get this up to remember those who lost their lives so senselessly at Virginia Tech. God Bless everyone.



Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The “Legends” of TMS – Part One

Well folks, Dave and I survived the Spring TMS weekend! Is there such a concept as “blissful endurance?” If so, that description might be the most apt of all in reference to our most recent racing adventure! Several themes ran through the weekend: Friendship, Reconciliation, Celebration, Good-Natured Mischief, Sheer Insanity and of course………. Weather. We busted a few old myths, added new chapters to our existing “legendary” rivalries, and had one helluva good time! Here’s Part One of the Ballad of TMS!........

We arrived in Cowtown (actually, Lewisville) on Wednesday night. The poor rented Ford (a/k/a “The Belt Sander”) was loaded down with everything but the kitchen sink. Our trip from Austin was quiet and we enjoyed the gorgeous bluebonnets along the way. Our late-winter rains were plentiful and the annual wildflower display is in full swing. Of course the folks at A&M have been busy lately, as we caught sight of many “Maroonbonnets” and “Albinobonnets” outside of Hillsboro. Danged Aggies can’t leave things alone! Where are the Burnt Orange ones???
Thursday was spent playing Airport Shuttle for our little crew of international attendees. First came Robin from Niagara Falls, NY. We warned Robin – “You won’t be able to miss us at the airport!” HAHA! I think it was the bunny ears and the Sacred Racing Waffle that gave us away! Mel made it in next from Edmonton, Alberta (where it’s so cold they plug their cars in at night to keep ‘em warm)! Next was Merri from Las Vegas, NV – our “legendary” former-nemises-turned-buddy, who took one look at the lunatics dispatched to pick her up and promptly made a U-turn! (We captured her nonetheless). Finally, we snagged Alnee from Chesapeake, VA, who was standing at the Airport gate waiting patiently for her ride. “HEY LADY! WANNA WAFFLE???” was all it took to get her attention and we all headed back to the hotel (getting lost in the process and winding up near Texas Stadium! Oops!)

Our first trip to the track came on Friday morning. After picking up our credentials (which included tornado procedure packets – doh!), we headed off to the infield JUST in time to try out our new rain gear! My eternal thanks to Dollar General Stores and their great cheap NASCAR rain ponchos! Once in the infield – the fun began. Picture five women with cameras and one poor “chaperone” (long-suffering hubby Dave) on our semi-annual chocolate & coffee-fueled prowling trip to the NASCAR garage. We managed to score autographs AND hugs from Robert Yates (Merri was right – he gives GREAT hugs), autographs from Ray Evernham (I KNEW I should have brought that goat), Jeff Burton, Dr. Dick Bergeron, Bob Dilner, John Roberts AND got a pic with Cousin Carl (I was tempted to lay into him about that Richmond Busch race, but he was being such a good boy), so I just made my best “Opie” face for the camera!


As the weather turned more ominous, we decided to hoof it out to the RV area to hunt down our other “arch-nemises-turned-co-conspirator” – the Legendary Phil! Luckily, the Lugnut had installed Satellite TV and was happily monitoring the incoming weather. Here in Texas, we ALWAYS monitor weather. 24-Hr. Doppler Radar is a popular channel, and the sight of lots of red, orange and purple accompanied by many spinning “shear” markers didn’t look too good. As we patiently waited for the graphic that indicates predicted path, we managed to coax the Yankees into the RV lest they panic and run for the border. Sure ‘nuf – the red arrow on the screen ran straight through TMS and the sirens started to wail.

For those of you who haven’t been to TMS – it’s a mammoth widespread citadel in the middle of a million acres of flat cow pasture. There is NOWHERE to go in the event of a weather disaster. Folks in the track structure might well find shelter in the bathrooms & tunnel areas, but there’s no sanctuary for the tens of thousands out in the parking lots and camping areas. As I scanned the darkening sky with thousands of metal flagpoles flying overhead, all I could think of was LOOK AT ALL THE LIGHTNING MAGNETS! Fortunately, that telltale “green” sky that typically precedes a tornado hadn’t appeared and within minutes it looked like the entire storm system split DIRECTLY at the track and made end-runs around either side.

We dodged the weather bullet on Friday, and since Trackside was obviously cancelled, we headed back to Lewisville for some Tex-Mex and much needed shuteye. Saturday and Sunday would be BIG days with massive crowds and we needed all the energy we could muster! More on that in the next episode!