Elliott Sadler Sez "NUTS" To Paying Fans?

Just when I think the Sadler Fan Club cannot possibly manage to throw its’ paying members a more ludicrous curve, my 2009 annual Sadler Fan Club pack (for which I paid $30 – family membership fee) arrived the other day.

It’s a can of nuts.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. The Sadler Fan Club has been in a downward spiral with regard to fan-relations for years, but this latest “gift” from the Sadlers has us all scratching our heads in a mixture of disgust and downright wonderment! Since the 2006 “expired Tylenol” fan pack debacle, I completely expect the annual Sadler Fan Pack to be 1) late, 2) thrown together with little or no thought, and 3) bizarre – but a can of goobers? Seems the SFC has always patterned their fan-relations policy under the direction of Leona Helmsley!

The note inside the box, as well as the Sadler-adorned label on the nut can tells me this gob of goobers is a “gift” in appreciation for all my support as a Sadler fan. Funny, I always thought of gifts as being given free of charge! Instead, Sadler staff advised me that the legumes are in lieu of he normal race-themed fan club pack we typically expect and receive.

Calls to the Sadler Fan Club reveal that they are “doing things a bit differently” this year, and instead of annual fan packs offering their paying members NASCAR-related, driver-related, or even sponsor-related doodads, merch or souvies – we’re all getting the nuts. I call that different, all right!

Of course, our nuts were received with no advance notice from the SFC (that would involve advance planning and communication – neither of which are in great supply at the FC) – initially, members were led to believe they were actually receiving a heartfelt gift of Virginia’s finest gourmet peanuts from the grateful Sadlers. It was not until a fan club member inquired about the annual fan packs on the message board that folks were directed (as usual) to “call or email” the FC with questions and the nutcase was cracked.

Aren’t peanuts baaaaad luck in the realm of NASCAR? Granted, Elliott Sadler has a contingent of fans that truly belong in the “nut” category, but it seems that he and his staff have gone well out of their way to distance themselves in past years from the fans as a whole – so much so, in fact, that my initial thought upon receiving nuts from the Sadlers was: “I wonder if they’re trying to make a point?” It wouldn’t surprise me, and that’s just sad. I’m sure Elliott, Hermie (and all the other drivers) would recoil in horror if I brought my SFC “gift” to pit road for a chance autograph!

I do have to applaud Belmont Peanuts of Southampton, Inc. for growing some really crunchy goobers. I’m not a big peanut fan, but Dave likes them. I did notice, however, that Belmont offers the same can of nuts on their website for $9.95 retail, with a discount for wholesale and/or bulk orders. Seeing as how I paid the Sadlers $30 (up $5 from last year) for my “family” membership, I’m wondering why I couldn’t have helped them support one of their local businesses by ordering the nuts myself from Belmont – that way at least I’d have gotten my “peanuts worth” and two additional cans! I won’t have my annual bumpersticker or decal this year, so perhaps I can just tie the empty can to my antenna or hang it on a string around my neck to show my Sadler support!

So, as Elliott Sadler’s performance on the track has declined, so have the numbers in this fan club “peanut gallery” – particularly those willing to “shell out” membership fees each year to fund fan club events that only those near Charlotte or Emporia can attend (unless they’re as well off as the Sadlers themselves)!

I’ve always harbored the suspicion that the Sadler family wished to say “NUTS!” to the fans – I guess I was right!

TRG Motorsports & David Gilliland

– The Everyfan’s Grassroots Race Team -

I’m a major history buff. Especially when it comes to investigating “grassroots” movements that have made a difference in humanity’s timeline. When you think about it, there are quite few major accomplishments which started as grassroots efforts and evolved to shape mankind. Christianity, Womens’ Suffrage, Civil Rights, and the American Revolution immediately come to mind.

Today’s economy has jumpstarted the “grassroots revolution” once again. Small entities of like-minded folk have seen the benefit of gathering the support and garnering the loyalty of their constituents, customers, and devotees. By banding together in support of a worthy cause, we at the bottom-rung of the capitalistic ladder have once again discovered that we can indeed make a difference. In a world of corporate domination, there ARE a few entities surviving against all odds and there ARE worthy underdogs turning into Cinderellas right under our noses.

It’s happening in NASCAR as I type this.

If you like success stories, check out driver David Gilliland and TRG Motorsports. Regardless of your favorite driver/team, I think you’ll find DG/TRG’s story worthy of your investigation, if not your outright support!

Against all odds, Gilliland entered the NASCAR Cup scene and made a name for himself despite working amidst the heart-wrenching decay of Yates Racing. Rather than continue the 2009 season in an “iffy” part-time ride at Yates, this competitive, talented driver elected to throw his hat into the TRG Motorsports’ ring; paring up with visionary race-meister Kevin Buckler and staff. Compared to the big “corporate” race teams, TRG had many years’ success in other race series, but made their NASCAR debut as the under-funded under-dog.

NASCAR has seen many of its family-owned and operated race teams meet their demise and succumb to corporate takeovers and inability to fund a competitive stable of cars. Some have just folded altogether. An excellent example is Dale Earnhardt Jr. who (rightfully?) left his family-owned team and joined the uber-corporate Hendrick Racing team – with nothing but mediocre performance to show for it. Tough times for even the veteran and “popular” drivers/teams. Enter DG and TRG and a grassroots effort to succeed in spite of everything the economy has thrown at them!

How? I can’t tell you the entire secret to their success, but I CAN tell you that these folks do the VERY best job staying connected to, supportive and appreciative of their fans (a/k/a the Grassrooters)! How loyal are DG/TRG fans? Just a day or two ago, I noted several fans VOLUNTEERING to have their personal vehicles wrapped in a potential sponsor’s advertising and promote them in their hometowns for free! Supporters of grassroots efforts such as DG/TRG need a worthy cause to stand behind, and I’ve truly found none so worthy in all my years as a NASCAR fan.

The DG/TRG Cinderella story continues as we head into Talladega this weekend. Having obtained a much-needed sponsorship before the Phoenix race, TRG and Gilliland were thrown another curve today as it was announced that the sponsorship had fallen through, ostensibly due to “lack of funding” on the potential sponsor’s part. All too familiar a refrain, isn’t it? No matter, the fans and supporters are cheering on the #71 car with its hood once-again bereft of advertising and making plans to celebrate a grand finish at Talladega. Is it working? David Gilliland and the #71 care are running 2nd fastest in practice. Miracle? Magic? Coincidence?

I think not.

Join in the grassroots effort – visit http://www.davidgilliland.com/ and sign up as a fan. Go to http://www.trgmotorsports.com/ and check out their creds. You’ll feel good about being part of the Cinderella story.

Romeo & George Gillette -- A Play in Three Acts

We knew it had to happen eventually. At some point, it was inevitable that Elliott Sadler’s PR gurus would finalize the spin on the recent contract debacle, and the Southern Gentleman would have to step into the spotlight and give the media HIS version of events. Yesterday’s annual driver interrogation known as “NASCAR Media Day” turned out to be Sadler’s chance to do some ‘splainin of his own, and the official fan club site has posted the entire interview.

It’s a LOOOONNNNG read!

So… to save my dear readers the time of sifting through the lengthy Emporian saga, replete with Sadlerese redundancy, I’ve taken it upon myself to adapt the situation to a screenplay in Three Acts -- “cliff notes” first-person version for your enjoyment!

“The Reader’s Undigested Version of The Elliott Sadler Contract Interview”

Act I: - GEM Boardroom

George Gillette: “Let’s have a meeting.”
Sadler: “Uh oh!”
#19 Team: “It wasn’t OUR fault!”
George Gillette: “Maybe they’re right. Elliott, shape up or ship out!”

Act II – GEM Boardroom

George Gillette: “Let’s have a meeting.”
Sadler: “Uh oh!”
Geoge Gillette: “I meant what I said in the last meeting.”
Sadler: “Yeah. Right. Anybody seen my passport?”

Act III – Telephone Tag

George Gillette: (ring, ring) “Hello, AJ? Let’s have a meeting!”
AJ: “Lemme call my manager, OK?
AJ (to manager): (ring, ring) “Hey! They want me to drive the #19!”
AJ’s Manager: “OK, I’ll tell the press!”
Press: “OOOOOOOOOoooo!”
Sadler Fans: “AAAAARRRRRGH!”
Sadler Detractors: “Neener, Neener, NEEEEEEEEE-ner!”
Sadler: (ring, ring) “George? You were SERIOUS???”
George Gillette: “Yeppers.”
Sadler: (ring, ring) “Hello, Lawyer? Can they do that?”
Lawyer: “We’ll take care of it.”
Sadler: “OK, and can you get me a new passport?”
McDonalds: (ring, ring) “Hi George! Ixnay on AJ – he doesn’t look cute in funny wigs!”
Best Buy: (ring, ring) “Hi George! Ditto.”
Stanley Tools: (ring, ring) “What they said.”
George Gillette: “OK, we’ll keep Sadler.”

Press: “OOOOOOOOOOoooo!”
Sadler Fans: “YAAAAAAAY!:
Sadler Detractors: “WTF?”
Sadler: “Whew, that was close! Now if I could just find my passport!!!!”

THE END

There. Now wasn’t that easier than reading the whole thing?

Of course, Sadler’s interview does an excellent job of laying down a straight party line and singing Kumbayas with regard to the 2009 season. One thing about the interview stuck in my craw, however. With characteristic repetitiveness, Sadler expressed his unyielding commitment to protecting himself, his team and his sponsors. “Doing what’s best” for those whom Sadler considers the “important” characters in the play is his utmost concern.

But NOTHING is mentioned about his fans. Zilch. Nada.

While not all of Sadler’s fans have been complimentary over the years, the Emporian still has a cadre of loyal (albeit fewer) fans who acted with support and outcry over the possibility of having him absent from the track in 2009. It seems as if Sadler has forgotten the all-important “final act” of his play – the one where he is able to entice, engage, and coerce his fans to go spend their money on those sponsor products! Sadler should realize that his fans are protecting their pocketbooks more fiercely than he is trying to protect his sponsors - and IF it is his “marketability” that saved his job – he should do a better job of looking after those on whom that marketability depends.

So, while the country celebrates a “mandate for change and improvement” next week - just a few miles North of Emporia, VA – here’s hoping that Elliott Sadler and his staff realize that they has a similar mandate – not only to do a better job on the track in 2009, but to improve his relationship with his fans, as well.

(Oh, yeah -- hope you get the passport, E!)

Race Invaders! A Football (and Racing) Fable.

Let’s play “Pretend,” OK? Bear with me on this one, gang – I’m going to spin a tale, and I know it’s a stretch but I think you’ll see where I’m going with it:

Once Upon A Time…….

Let’s Pretend that the NFL has fallen upon financial hard times. New football safety rules created by The Commission have forced teams to expend beyond their budgets for new safety equipment and training personnel. The Commission has limited the amount of time a team can access their Commission-owned practice fields, forcing the few football teams with enough left in their kitties to build their own, or suffer in performance during the regular season.

Let’s Pretend that as the football season rolls on, it becomes painfully obvious that the only teams who will make it to the playoffs are the few with heavy-duty corporate financial backers – those who could afford the new expenses. In fact, several popular teams had to forfeit games because they couldn’t afford the plane fares and hotel expenses to travel! Sadly, several teams have folded altogether - unable to afford the capital or the stress caused by the "new" rules.

Let’s Pretend, that in order to survive, my Hometown Professional Football Team (who I’ve supported with my hard-earned dollars and my invaluable loyalty for years) has been contacted by a foreign corporation and offered an avenue to survival – sponsorship $$$. Coincidentially (or not), the Iaintfromaroundhere, gMbH, S.A., Ltd. Corp. also owns an International Soccer Team that at one time in the past was the envy of the planet. Seems the round-ball-with-spots passtime has also gone downhill in the last few years and my new “international” backer is looking for greener pastures – a new place to cash in on the exposure that comes from having their logo plastered all over my team’s uniforms and all over my city’s Super Stadium (which, BTW, is owned by the Commissioner’s sister).

Let’s Pretend that it’s offseason, and I’m looking forward to my team’s upcoming Draft picks – our chance to add the Heissman winner to our roster as well as a few more choice picks from the ranks of Collegiate players (some from my home state) who’ve devoted their youth (and their parents’ life savings) to making it to the pros.

BUT…..

Let’s Pretend that the Commission has decided to allow my Now-Corporate Co-Owner (who now has 51% controlling interest in my team) to forego the draft entirely – opting instead to allow them to fill my team’s ranks from their overseas Soccer team! Their rationale, I’m told, is that these are athletes who are just as qualified to play as our Collegiate hometown boys from U! After all, they can run, they can kick, they can hit things with their heads, and there’s a precedent! Didn’t the Detroit Lions let George Plimpton QB for a quarter way back in 1968? So there!

Let’s Pretend that I’m sitting in my living room, watching the opening season game. My team’s Quarterback is gone (now relegated to coaching Arena Football), replaced by the same superstar soccer guy who used to look down his nose at our “primitive” version of the sport. Our Running Backs are guys we’ve never seen before (with last names we can’t pronounce), and our Fullback, Center, and Special Teams can’t pronounce anything intelligible on camera except the name of the Sponsor! My favorite player – the one I’ve followed since Pop Warner days – is now sitting on the bench on the 4th string, allowing the new “International” players a chance at stardom and TV coverage. Let’s Pretend I’m trying to decide whether or not to renew my season tickets.

And finally, Let's Pretend that they lived Blissfully Ignorant Ever After (but with ample capital, a marketing office in New York City, and a Commissioner telling me this is sooooooo good for the sport!).

Let’s Pretend the same thing is happening in NASCAR! No. Wait. We don’t have to pretend anymore, do we?

Shine 'Em On!!!!

We have a saying down here that's used when you want to ignore someone without making them feel ignored. It's used when you want to make annoying SOBs go away, but you can't afford to offend 'em:

You just “Shine 'Em On!”

Shining on someone involves telling them whatever needs to be told in order to shut 'em up, leave 'em ignorantly happy, and with the full hope they won't realize that they're nothing more than an aggravation and necessary evil in the eyes of the “Shiner.”

Today, I'm watching the Richmond race from the comfort of my sofa – NOT, as planned, from a seat at Richmond International Raceway, and boy-howdy I'm glad! Hubby and I had planned for the better part of a year to make a return trip to VA this year for a NASCAR Fan Club event we were led to believe would be a repeat, annual shindig prior to the race, and to enjoy ourselves prowling about the Blue Ridge mountains for antiques. We're not there; and I'm not 100% sure, but I think we got shined on.

Tried to get info earlier in the year to confirm the event so we could make money-saving advance reservations, buy race tix, secure convenient hotel, etc. A race weekend for two, including airfare, costs appx. $2,000 per person – and advance planning on airfare is the only way many can afford to make the trip. Kept getting assurances that an event was in the works, but when I asked for further confirmation, well, I got shined on.

Good thing, too! Turns out Fan Club folks finally decided to forego the event entirely, and have opted for a 3 hour bowling alley appearance on a weeknight in another city all together. That's about an hour shorter than the average free autograph appearance for a NASCAR driver – and once again folks are being asked to pay for the privilege of attending (even though they've already paid annual FC dues). Attempts to find out why the sudden turn of events have been met with lots of sparkly shine.

I think I know why. Fame, fortune and celebrity cost a public figure dearly – loss of privacy, relinquishment of control over ones' time, schedule, and outside pursuits; the inability to venture forth in public without creating a scene and, sadly, the ever-present collection of maniac-fans who tend to make the rest seem an insurmountable threat to one's sanity. The compensation, though, is the upside. The obvious financial rewards of fame and fortune ensure the celeb the ability to live comfortably, and in peace and private AFTER the limelight has gone out. One way to tell when that's happened? There's nobody left to shine on anymore.

My hometown is full of “one-hit-wonders” and I've been around enough in the music biz to see how many are remembered and how many have been forgotten by all but the annoying maniacs. The former are the ones who created a legacy of loyalty by treating their admirers with respect, appreciation and making them feel a sense of value and participation in the end result which is a successful career. The latter? They just shined everybody on......................

Soooo – the next time my favorite NASCAR celebrity's staff emails me a request to support their benefits, subscribe to their club, enroll in their $20-a-month online games and passtimes – I hope they have on their sunglasses. I might start doin' a little shinin' of my own!

We Are Not Alone! (NASCAR Fans in Austin)!

It ain't easy being a NASCAR fan in in the Capitol of the Lone Star State! Seems my beloved Utopia of a hometown has everything imaginable to offer, with one notable exception: NASCAR fans. I swear there are days when I believe I'm the only NASCAR junkie in town – no race gear and souvies at our local auto parts stores, no Schrader Lil' Debbie cutouts at our convenience stores, no drivers opening new car dealerships on our “motor mile.” Granted, the soda machine at my Home Depot DOES have Tony Stewart on it, but it's from an era when he was rail-skinny and too young to grow whiskers! Hell, our local Wally Martinez has had the same Ryan Newman action figure hanging on the same peg since 2005!

It's not that Austin is oblivious to sports! It's just that most of our local athletic heroes race on the UT gridiron or on 2 wheels under pedal power. We're a town of old hippies, young technoxecutives, dot commers, lawyers, & politicians – none of which seem to attend the Church of the Holy Oval on Sundays. Mention a Bologna Burger or a Martinsville Stain-the-Bun-Red Hotdog to a local, and they'll run screaming from the aisles at Whole Foods. Ask the college kid at the neighborhood Megamedia franchise for the latest copy of NASCAR Illustrated, and he's likely to ask you if it's a coloring book! Yup, being a NASCAR fan in Austin is a lonely task.

But lo and behold – thanks to our local Time Warner Cable team, the folks at Discount Tire, Texas Motor Speedway, the Speed Channel, ESPN, David McDavid Acura and a good old Texas honkey tonk – we FINALLY had a real live NASCAR fans' get together in Austin! And people came! Mostly looking as amazed as I that there were others like us in town! Held at Scholz Garten, the oldest continuously-operating business in Texas (ca. 1866), attendees got a chance to enjoy some of the Austin's finest BBQ and lament over the rainout of the Michigan race, while trading good-natured jabs at one another over racing rivalries. Curiously, it seems that Austin NASCAR fans are a diverse demographic, as I spotted a huge variety of driver “colors” and tees – everything from Sterling Marlin, Dave Blaney, David Gilliland, Carl Edwards, and one poor Gordon fan who took quite a bit of ribbing after winning TWO of the day's door prizes – I believe someone suggested they go through post-win inspection! Conspicuously absent were members of the Jr. Nation – I think I saw one #8 shirt and another fella flying a DEI logo (albeit a small one).

Speaking of “swag” - the prize giveaways were no slouch, either. In addition to cool freebs from TMS (who brought “Ricky Bobby's” show car), Speed, and ESPN; Discount Tire gave away two $500 gift certificates, TMS threw in a VIP ticket package for the upcoming November race, and the finale was a drawing by Time Warner's Channel 8 News staff for an all-expenses paid trip for two to the October Charlotte race. I guess I don't have to tell ya we didn't win – or else you'd be reading about our upcoming travel arrangements! Nonetheless, it was a breath of fresh air to finally meet up with other NASCAR folk, do a little EA video-racing, bust our diets with some good food, and enjoy Sunday's “almost-race” with other locals of our ilk! Can Corn Dogs and Funnel Cakes at organic co-op be far behind?
Mounds of thanks to the event sponsors and to the kind folks at Scholz Garten for a major treat – and here's hoping we can do it again – SOON!

Ugly Dishes, Uglier Weather & Some Damn Fine Music!

.

I’m a “dish junkie.” Have been for too many years to count. I’m an obsessed collectaholic, married to another obsessed collectaholic, with a long line of ancestral collectaholics in the ‘ol family tree. In other words, I’m not looking to be cured of the addiction any time soon! I have; however, found a partial solution to make life bearable (and financially feasible) – I buy all the good, old dishes I can find (supports my addiction and need to “prowl”), and sell the stuff I don’t personally collect (yet) to fund more of same! Vicious cycle, I know, but a helluva lot of fun! That brings us to:

The World’s Ugliest Dishes

I have theories. When extraterrestrials arrive on the planet millennia from now, they’ll dig up the remains of the human race and find four things: 1) Nylon 6-Pack Rings; 2) Pampers; 3) Keith Richards; and 4) Royal China Co’s Dinnerware. Yup, transferware. The Holy Trinity of Transferware: Royal Currier & Ives, Colonial Homestead and Olde Curiosity Shoppe!

I am convinced that everyone in the known universe owns, or HAS owned a piece of Royal Transferware. Many refer to them as “Safeway Dishes,” as they were peddled at every grocery store in the free world back in the 60’s. Buy a dinner plate for .10 this week – and next week we’ll sell you the teapot for $1.00. Of course, the elusive teapots were always gone when the long awaited week rolled around, so you simply bought another .10 dinner plate.

No Thrift Shore, Junk Shop, or Flea Market in the US is without a token piece of Royal Transferware. That would be sacrilege! Why? Because you can’t sell the stuff for love nor money right now! It’s ugly! Back in the late 80’s, folks actually decided that this stuff was “collectible” for a while – of course, they were the same folks who liked Disco (tell you anything)? The trend died off quickly (thank God), and the offending dishes have now made their way back into the stream of commerce, clogging it up like a hairball in a drain. NOBODY wants these dishes. Don’t blame ‘em a bit.

So, if you are one of the incredibly rare individuals in the galaxy who has NEVER owned a piece of Royal Transferware, it is your solemn duty to go find a piece (and then get rid of it – if you can). Doing so will fulfill your destiny and give you the inalienable right to utter the immortal words: “Ewwwww! I had that stuff!” the next time you encounter a .10 dinner plate at a garage sale! You can always try to donate your unwanted transferware to the Pygmies in New Guinea, but I think they already have service for 40 and all they need is the teapot lid.

Hurricane Season – 2008

It’s that time of year again – Hurricane Season in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico! Texans react to hurricanes much like a flock of ground-sniffing pigeons to a car horn – they get up real close for a curious look-see and then explode in a feather-flying frenzy when frightened out of their wits – only to return again for another peek when things calm down.

I live in “central” Texas – a couple of hundred miles from the coast. We’ve had a record amount of rain in these parts recently, and flooding is no stranger to Austin. I don’t think; however, that we’ve had a major hurricane travel all the way up Congress Avenue any time in the past, so we’re fairly safe from worst that the Hurricane Gods dish out.

But you can’t convince us of that! Hurricane Dean is crouched at the entrance of the Gulf, promising to be a Category 4 or better when it enters our backyard kiddie pool of lukewarm water. Go try to buy a flashlight or a generator in the Lone Star State right now! Austinites are clearing the shelves of bottled water, batteries, gas cans and battery operated weather radios. Of course, no one in Austin will have use for any of this survival gear – and next Spring you’ll find weather radios, cheap flashlights, and slightly used generators for sale at your local flea market (right on top of the stacks of Royal Transferware). We’ll keep our fingers crossed for the best, though, for our friends further South. I can flush my toilet 3 times fast and flood half of Houston from here!

Moshing Flamingos & Some Great Blues!

I think I’ve found the perfect NASCAR post-race pastime! A free concert and an old movie at Videoranch - the brainchild of Texas’ own Michael Nesmith. Yes – THAT Mike Nesmith! He is remembered by many for his role in The Monkees, but his real claims to fame are the invention of the music video, the impetus for MTV, one of the first commercially successful “Southern” rockers, and his cutting-edge visions of music media which are lightyears ahead of the most savvy in the industry.

Based on the Second Life virtual world platform, Videoranch 3D is an online “resort” featuring live music events, discussion groups, book signings, movies, and more! Mike and Co. have built extremely lifelike and realistic cafés, lounges, saloons, amphitheaters, poolside retreats, drive-in theaters, and tropical islands; as well as some decidedly UN-lifelike fantasy features such as a giant floating Pie-in-the-Sky that can be visited and enjoyed via the avatar of your choice!

After Sunday’s slugfest at Watkins Glen, I found myself – like many racefans – with a surplus of adrenaline that left me wanting for SOMETHING else to do. I found it in spades at the Blue Horizon Amphitheater at Videoranch, where the “house band” Ranch Dressing were treating audiences to a live, streaming concert of incredible blues. In Videoranch, concerts are performed LIVE in the studio, and the band is actually visible live on the Blue Horizon stage. What’s more – the band can “see” the audience by virtue of screens in front of them, they are able to interact with the concert goers during breaks in their set, and avatars can “chat” with the band via keyboard. Sound quality is primo, and raucous classics by Jimmie Reed, John Mayall and Etta James are performed with gusto by an incredible group of musicians. There are no “bic lighters” at VR (yet) – so appreciation for the music is shown by turning oneself into a pink flamingo dancing a jig at the foot of the stage!

After the concert, avatars can “teleport” to the Drive-In theater, where classic movies, accompanied by chat, are a good way to kick back and relax with friends. Of course, during old “gangsta” flicks – users have a tendency to “chat” in the appropriate Cagney-esque lingo: “youse guys should check it out, see?”

I know many groups of NASCAR fans operate racetime “chats” during and after our Sunday roundy rounds, and hope you get a chance to visit Videoranch 3D and blow off post-race steam at this incredible venue! Who knows? If enough of us octane-sniffers haunt the resort – perhaps “Papa Nez” will build us a virtual track!? And wouldn’t an In The Attic podcast look great from the top of a Pie-In-The-Sky? (Yes, Pete & Rachel – it’s a hint!)

You can visit Videoranch 3D here and check out upcoming events!

http://www.videoranch.com/html/frhomepage.html

#$%^$#!!!!! (a term found in weather and racing)!

I’m back! Our recent “liquid” weather in Central Texas spawned a thunderboomer that ate my faithful old laptop a few weeks back. The result has become a true exercise in marital compromise, as hubby Dave is as committed to his online endeavors (World of Warcraft) as I am to mine! We now “share” the gaming PC, and woe be unto the NASCAR fan who wants to use the system during a Naked Gnome Race or a Endgame Guild Raid. Hopefully, we’ll have this dilemma rectified shortly, as soon as I decide whether or not my sanity can handle Windows Vista! It’s been a while since I’ve aggravated myself with a new operating system!

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature!

Seems the Evernham Motorsports staff has finally uncovered a major flaw in their newfangled PLM system dataset. Seems the digitheads at EMS have been testing cars with different dynamics than those that wind up on the track – a MAJOR engineering flaw that languished 5 months without discovery. In response, EMS performed a “system restore” of sorts, and returned to a prior-year car for the Indy race – a move that SHOULD have proven at least somewhat fruitful.

Not much, tho. Listening to the #19 Team’s scanner during the race, it was apparent that Ray Evernham did everything to the ill-handling car but change the paint – all to no avail. At one point, racechat chums and I opined that they should just jack the thing up and shove a 4 x 4 underneath. The good news is – Sadler finished 28th instead of 33rd (again) and to a fan of the Southern Gentleman – it’s an improvement.

Having programmed in a past life (I actually remember some PASCAL & Fortran code and the Unix vi Editor!), I’m fairly certain it will take the EMS techies a few weeks to correct their baseline dataset, regenerate all their engineering data specs, and manufacture parts to comform. No small feat during the final races before the chase, but I’m betting we’ll see some more improvement as time goes along.

One thing is apparent, tho – especially after listening to ESPN’s interviews with Dale Sr.’s former compadres who touted his ability to handle an evil-driving car. Sadler is gaining more than his fair share of similar experience, and the fact that he’s been able to keep ill-handling rides out of walls and other cars will do nothing but improve his performance stats once the bugs are ironed out. Yeah, I’m an optimist!

Expletive (NOT) Deleted!

Talk about instant karma! Just as I was complimenting Tony Stewart on winning a race without issuing accusations and throwing barbs at other drivers – KABOOM. The BS Bomb. ESPN decided to forego it’s broadcasting “safety delay” – apparently believing that former Champion drivers wouldn’t DARE take their 1st Amendment rights to the limit at such a time. Poor judgment on ESPN’s part! I think a new rule of thumb for ANY media entity is to ASSURE a delay is in place before allowing a mic anywhere near the Man in Orange!

Sadly, Tony Stewart’s public behavior has taken such a dismal downward spiral of late, it’s hard for even a Sunshine Pumper like me to look for points on which to defend him. His last forays into public embarrassment have resulted in making light of (and almost advocating) irresponsible alcohol consumption and now Mr. Smoke has shown the world that literacy, articulation, and self-discipline are NOT hallmarks of our sport. Thanks, Tony – you went a long way in maintaining the NASCAR stereotype with your BS! Glad I’m not a parent with a young Stewart fan among my offspring – we’d have to talk!

But is it really ALL Tony’s fault? Granted, he behaves with ever-increasing bitterness and seems to be almost TRYING to offend anyone and everyone who approaches him with a mic – but isn’t that what the media EXPECTS? Or WANTS? Tony “The Mouth” is a story, and I’m going to hand the press a slice of the blame pie for keeping the seemingly endless cycle of bad behavior pedaling along. Stewart has actually been ENCOURAGED by the media to behave badly – hence a weekly “forum” on Sirius where he’s publicized, egged on, and rewarded for bad behavior. I’ve joined the club of “non-listeners” when it comes to Tony’s weekly show – perhaps if enough folks did likewise it would send a message (without using expletives)!

Monday Mulling…….

Whaddya know!…..
I guess NASCAR radar must have picked up a signal from the hinterlands! The Talladega Freight Train came and went with only a few debris cautions and voila! We saw debris!!! Of course, Talladega is a convenient place for NASCAR to redeem itself. Face it – there’s not much need to “bunch up” the pack when you have 43 cars that actually WANT to run single file! But I’ll give ‘em credit for making sure WE knew that something was on the track when the yellow flew. Let’s see what shows up on TV screens at the next few intermediate tracks where a REAL motive exists for “manipulation” of the pack!

Verborrhea…….
I can’t get inside of Tony Stewart’s head. If I could, I’d probably hear: “I showed ‘em it’s not a good idea for me to speak to the press immediately after I fail to win a race!”

He would be right. Smoke’s comments directed at David Gilliland after Sunday’s race were harsh, derrogatory, bullying and just flat crossed the line. Lousy timing, Tony! Remember – you bolstered many fans' & mediamembers' “perceptions” that NASCAR was dealing off the bottom with bogus cautions. Just when we (and NASCAR) seemingly took you seriously and we saw that constructive measures MIGHT occur in response to your tirade – you pitch an adolescent hissy fit and move from the “torch bearer” category to the “petulant buffoon” column in less than 10 words! I’ll bet Helton is breathing a HUGE sigh of relief! Way to go, idjit! Do me a favor, Tony..... shut up and drive for a while, OK? Stop acting like a no-talent broadcaster who simply lucked into a radio show!

Burning (flipping, spinning, banging) Busch……
If you believe in Karma – I’m sure you’ll agree that Kyle Busch’s cosmic slate ought to be clean after Saturday & Sunday’s wrecks. Over the course of the weekend, I received SEVERAL calls from anti-Shrub buddies saying “Poor kid - I feel sorry for him!” So do I! Kyle is a talented driver who is still a few years shy in the age department of reaching public maturity (an excuse Tony DOES NOT have for shooting off at the mouth). Besides, compared to The Man In Orange lately, Kyle's downright eloquent!

Happy Birthday!......
It's Elliott Sadler's birthday, so here's wishing him a very happy 32nd!

Local Stuff......
Got to spend the day at Thunderhill Raceway (a/k/a "My Classroom") in Kyle, Texas this past Saturday. I love this place! I typically get a better education in a few hours at this track than I could possibly glean by reading the net & watching TV. I'm still trying to gain some familiarity with the myriad series that run here -- but the variety is amazing. On Saturday, we watched everything from Ford Pintos & Karmann Ghias battling like crazy, to NASKARTS (I want one), to Legends (mini-IROCs?), Late Models (cars I actually RECOGNIZE from my youth), Hobby Stocks (Aunt Edna's Buick) & TSRS Modifieds (vroom)!

Once again, our benevolent Jedi came down from Big D with his RV, so we had a primo place to cool off and catch up on the Busch race. Ringside seats at the drivers' meeting and weigh-ins were a treat, and Dave (ever the carpenter) even got tapped to help build the Victory Lane Backdrop! We even came home with some "souvies" -- 2 more SRT's! (Stinky Racing Tires!) I feel a pair of end-tables coming on!

Debris or No Debris – THAT’s the Perception!

Is is Racing or Wrestling? Is it Live or is it Memorex? Is it Spontaneous or Scripted? Is it a Sport or America ’s latest made-for-TV drama? Are we enjoying our favorite pastime or are we being taken to the cleaners by the France empire?

Regardless of your opinion – you KNOW you’ve asked yourselves the questions….

Tony Stewart has finally given public voice to a big issue in “stock” car racing – exemplified by the seemingly scripted and way-to-conveniently timed "competitition cautions" called by NASCAR Officials for alleged debris on the track. Smoke has certainly minced no words, and while it’s one thing to read such stinging, controversial opinions from the media and internet peanut galleries – it’s entirely another matter when one (or more) of NASCAR’s most talented drivers and 2-time Champions confirms these hypotheses out loud. NASCAR is fake and we’re all ignoramuses with open pocketbooks?

Ouch!

OK, so I’m not ready to put my TMS season tickets up on eBay yet. But I have grown past that stage of NASCAR naivete that many seem to cling to so longingly. This isn’t your father’s NASCAR – it’s a marketing-driven sports enterprise and a privately owned mega-corporation. While I don’t believe our sport is entirely “fixed” – I certainly believe it is manipulated for reasons OTHER than safety!

Show It or Throw It!

IF (and I use the conjunction delicately) these pesky “debris” cautions are indeed in response to a concern for safety….. (i.e. IF something has actually been observed on the track …) SHOW IT! NASCAR can put a camera on a red-hot brake rotor and a GPS that beams the car’s precise position to my PC. If a hotdog wrapper has created a safety issue – it’s a relatively simple matter to display (or at very least describe) the offending offal during a race broadcast. Give us a paragraph on Tuesday along with the penalty reports summarizing each of those “debris” cautions! I’d gladly give up the right to “vote in” a driver on Trackpass – if you’ll give me ONE channel of NASCAR Race Control on my PC each and every Sunday!

When an actual SAFETY issue occurs (like flaming cars skidding upside down across the track -- REGARDLESS of what lap we're on), THROW IT! It’s these inconsistencies that remove all credence from NASCAR’s “safety first” response to Tony’s rant.

NASCAR has within its power the ability to do some very constructive damage control -- and in the fans' eyes damage control is sorely needed! If the governing body wishes to reverse this perception of “scripted races” and redeem themselves (somewhat) in the eyes of the fans (and drivers), they can take the high road rather easily. If not – the manipulation will continue and even the most casual race fan will be lured into believing that we're simply watching a 4-wheeled version of WWF. Don’t take the road to Vagueville, Brian -- SHOW US that you don’t think we’re fools!

While we're at it....

Want some REAL competition? Take the “actual” debris found on the track, show it on TV, and then put the scrap up on eBay! A heftybag that cost a major driver a race (and perhaps a Championship) ought to fetch a pretty penny from us morons!! You can use the money to put SAFER barriers ALL around the Great Wall in Daytona (safety is a priority -- just ask Jimmy Johnson or Jeff Fuller!)

And while you’re shopping in Bejing, Brian, you might want to let the PR folks know that it looks REALLY bad to us fans to have you running off to start a new series in China just as Kentucky Speedway is suing you for anti-trust violations!

But we’re ignorant! What do we know?

Remember When All We Had To Learn About Was RACIN???

Like many, I have my morning routine pretty down pat. I check my email, then start making my rounds of bookmarked sites. Chief among my NASCAR stops are several journalists’ blogs, as well as key online periodicals – and I’ve recently added a new one near the top of the list:

The Wall Street Journal.

It’s fairly obvious that I’m an Elliott Sadler fan, and therefore I’m among the multitudes who are trying to understand why our driver isn’t being sprinkled with confetti and doused with soda at the end of the race. It’s been a pretty dismal season, and the knee-jerk reactions have run the gamut. Many want to place blame in the drivers’ and/or crew chief’s laps, while others are blaming the owner, the engineers and/or the fabricators. Some blame just about everyone!

For myself, I’ve learned (most of the time), to keep my blaming fingers curled inward until I do a little research. Things are not always as they seem, and in Sadlers’ (and EMS) case – there’s a lot more going on in Detroit, Michigan and Stuttgart, Germany than in Statesville, NC or Emporia, VA!

The Chrysler Sale

It looks as if Dodge’s parent company, Germany’s Daimler/Chrysler, is serious about selling off the Chrysler portion of its’ operation to a private equity firm. There are numerous bidders, and the sale looks likely within the next 4-6 weeks according to Wall Street and Detroit pundits. Will a new Chrysler owner commit to the same estimated $100 million annually to keep a presence in NASCAR – it’s ONLY racing endeavor? It seems unlikely that a new owner with a need to compete with America’s NEWEST #1 automaker – Toyota – will resist the urge to streamline it’s budget.

BUT……

The UAW (who reportedly opposes the sale) is in the midst of collective bargaining with Daimler/Chrysler. If a sale is eminent, the UAW may be forced to make concessions in its contract negotiations in order to entice Stuttgart into keeping the truck-heavy Chrysler lines intact. When unions make concessions (particularly in health care and retirement benefit packages) – they lose members AND dues. If they manage to help salvage Chrysler by drastically cutting employee benefits – THEY might be the ones who need to “streamline” their budget!

BUT……

Many of the drive train parts for Mercedes Benz are made by Chrysler plants in the US. Shedding the marque will DEFINITELY cost the Benzers in the long run. And German workers have representatives, too!
So….. What’s This Got to Do With NASCAR?

Eggs! That’s what. My EMS #19 car has all its hardboileds in the same German-owned and Labor-Unionized basket.

Although there are several “Dodge” teams – only our two EMS cars are sponsored by the “manufacturer” via it’s dealership network IN PARTNERSHIP with the UAW. There is no “Ford Dealers Ford” or “Chevy Dealers Chevy” – let alone one who’s partnered up with a labor union that is at times diametrically opposed to the manufacturer’s profit potential! From where I sit – it seems that anything fortuitous that befalls EITHER of our primary sponsors in this upcoming “deal” is going to take potential NASCAR sponsorship money out of the other’s pocket.
And right now – it’s that very money that’s much needed to boost Evernham’s chassis engineering staff and put Ray back in the shop (as opposed to pounding the pavement for a partner). Evernham, himself, stated on Sirius last week that his forte was under the hood rather than in the boardroom – so here’s hoping a new financial partner will have the B2B expertise needed to find a sponsorship marriage that doesn’t repeat the current reliance on all things Dieter Zetsche!

Lest we also forget – The UAW Daimler/Chrysler 400 (a/k/a the Las Vegas Race) has already been run for 2007. If a reduction in NASCAR financing is on Dr. Z’s mind – will he pull funding for the 2008 premier-sponsorship of the next Vegas extravaganza – or will he pull the greenbacks from the (marginally performing) cars on the track?

As for me – I have a sneaking suspicion that the sale will move forward with Daimler/Chrysler keeping enough stake in the company to ensure an economical supply of Benz parts. Will their presence in racing decline?

That’s why I’m checking the Journal!

TMS Spring Pilgrimmage – The Prologue

It is exactly 7 days until Dave and I begin our semi-annual trek to Dallas Ft. Worth for the Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. Our twice-annual mecca to mingle with fellow fans, friends, co-conspirators and likeminded loonies. It’s four whole days of race-nirvana! Between Thursday and Sunday, we’ll walk a hundred miles, sweat, freeze, stand in line, sit in shade, dodge crowds, dodge Dodges, hiss at the bad guys, cheer for the good guys and enjoy the company of dear friends we see only a handful of times per year.

Right now, it’s “prep time.” I have moved entire households cross country and it didn’t require the amount of planning and packing as this race trip does! NASCAR fans are the most wardrobe simplistic folk on earth. Give ‘em comfy shoes, a pair of jeans, and a drivers’ T-Shirt & and ice chest and they’re fully outfitted, right?

NOT a chance!!!

I’m packing enough wardrobe to outfit a Broadway production, enough electronic gadgetry to outfit a 3rd World Army, and enough racing/tailgating schwag to open a themed restaurant! I have 3 big Rubbermaid containers filled with hot weather gear, wet weather gear, cool weather gear and I’m now ready for flash floods, mosquitos, blisters, headaches, famine, sunburn, darkness, deafness, heartburn, dry mouth and vitamin deficiency! Communication will NOT be an issue as we will have cell phones, land lines, TV, Satellite, text messaging, wireless internet, hi-speed internet, scanners, LCDs, Direct Connect, Weather Radio, CD Players, Mp3 Players, and a car radio! You want pictures? I have FIVE digital cameras, a camcorder, Digital Video camera, a handful of disposable 35mm’s and a freaking sketchpad!

Speaking of scanners……..

Dave and I sunk megabucks into a scanner setup during the Fall race at TMS. Not satisfied with the NORMAL scanner, my digit-head hubby had to have the model equipped with ALL the doo-dads – 2-way microphones, hookups for 3 of our closest friends, extra antennae, etc. The sweet little white-haired saleslady at the hauler seemed to be a whiz at programming the contraption. 3 simple buttons – enter the frequency code and channel and PRESTO! Audio from your favorite driver! She kindly repeated the instructions and we had NASCAR race control! Looked easy enough – I managed to get a couple more drivers programmed in without too much headscratching and off to the races we went!

Now it’s time to reprogram the scanner for THIS race. I handed the bag to Dave last week and said –

“Here ya go, honey! Can you get this thing ready for TMS?”

“Whaddaya mean, ME?” he replied, “I thought YOU were paying attention to the instructions!”

Yeah, well - that was 5 months ago! I’ve slept since then! I have COMPLETELY forgotten which three buttons the evil old white-haired windbag pushed and it’s NOWHERE in the 1,500 pages of Users Guide written in Taiwanglish that came with the darned thing! Hey, I only use this dadblasted mess a couple of times a year! For gosh sakes, I can’t even program the danged DVR and I use it almost daily! You actually expect me to do things that require 15-digit frequencies after a long winter’s nap? Nonsense!

My usual plan of action when in techno-panic is to bribe our teenage whizkid into handing the issue. Not this time – “I don’t DO radio” was the smug reply. Well hey kid, how ‘bout “I DON’T DO SUPPER?!” Naw….he knows me better than that! Still no programmed scanner.

Sooooooo --- anyone out there a Scanner Programmin’ Guru? Taking a cue from Craigslist barter section:

I HAVE MOSQUITO REPELLANT! YOU HAVE SCANNABILITY?

We’ll see where it goes! More Prologue to TMS as they prep wears on – and my sanity depletes!

Wireless Fans.....

From the “Just When You Thought it was Over” department - seems I’m still attending live music events via cell phone! Oh, I’m not complaining, mind you! I think it’s an absolute joy; and as I’ve stated before, taking the time to call and share an event with a friend compromises the “live” attendee’s ability to enjoy the show with hands free and voices raised. An ultimate act of consideration!

Tonight, my dear friend Robin from Niagara Falls, New York is attending a show featuring Eric Church, Miranda Lambert & Dierks Bentley in Rochester, NY. Poor Robin - my bosom NASCAR buddy, my fellow Sadler aficionado and frequent traveler to Austin for spontaneous insanity (i.e., waffles, cheesecake and car parts) -- had to put up with over a month of my musical SXSW- and Who-obsessive behavior and distractions which left me racing-impaired! I tried to share the madness by calling her mid-gig from Rachel Fuller & Pete Townshend’s DirecTV filming – and tonight, she repaid the favor by calling me on HER cell to let me hear a few numbers from Lambert & Bentley live!

We’ve started something……. (Well, sort of!)

You see – the NASCAR bunch did it first! A few months back – during those dark, dreary, and dismal months that stock car fans refer to as the dreaded “off season” -- I got a phone call from Las Vegas, Nevada. At work. Where there are REALLY good speaker phones! I had a bit of advance warning, but it didn’t prepare me for the absolute THRILL of what I heard.

It sounded like this:

“ZZZZZZZZNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnuuuuuuuuu!!!! ZZZZZZZZZNNNNNNNNuuuuuu!!!

IT WAS CARS!!!! Testing at the Las Vegas Track! And not just ANY car, gang, ……… it was MY CAR!!!! The #19!!!! God Bless Merri!!! She took the time to brighten the dark days of offseason with a call to share the music that warms a race-fan’s heart like no other! HORSEPOWER! While Daytona was still weeks away – I felt like the green flag had already dropped and managed to keep my race-starved sanity intact until the real thing came along!

Of course, my co-workers were worried that I had completely lost my mind. “Her speakerphone is making a strange buzzing noise and she’s got tears in her eyes! Whassup with that?” They should have seen me during the Tampa2 Who Encore! (Thanks again, Burton!)

Sooooo – I’ve just realized that I’ll have an opportunity during the next few weekends to repay some precious favors! Thunderhill Raceway (our local 3/8ths mile asphalt) opens its season this weekend, and the BIG one – Texas Motor Speedway is only 15 days away. My phone is charged. Anybody wanna sound bite?

READY! AIM!! BLAME!!!

Folks in Sadlerville is at it again! The long, long fingers of blame are hunting a target – but it appears that the target keeps moving! Everyone has opinions, speculations, complaints, suggestions and downright remorse over the #19 Team’s performance at Bristol this past Sunday. What a heartbreaking turn of events we witnessed – as once again Elliott Sadler went from front-runner to keep-upper, and we now need a scorecard to keep track of the theories regarding what actually happened – and who is at fault!

I’m surprised at the number of fans who see this as a SINGLE problem, with a SINGLE culprit and a SIMPLE solution. ONE bad guy… ONE problem… and the insatiable urge to point that finger firmly in ONE direction and see the issue resolved by next Sunday. In this case, I’m afraid, we need to point a whole fistful of digits (and perhaps some toes, as well) at many contributing factors. As usual, at some point in the various Sadler camps’ blame games – the only targets actually hit are the fans themselves. We actually blame one another for blaming! Ain’t racin’ grand? Ain’t people funny?

I’m not immune, either! We ARE talking about human emotions here! If we didn’t get self-righteously indignant and hot-headedly vocal about our drivers’ (lack of) results – all our posts would look like this:

“The UAW Dodge Dealers’ Dodge Avenger failed to achieve the results desired this week. We shall endeavor to persevere.”

Or……

“I’m SOOOOOOOOO happy that we didn’t come in 28th!!!!!!”

Or……

“Drat.”

Sooooooo….. for the record, I think it’s a little bit the driver’s fault, a little bit the crew chief’s fault, a little bit the Team Owner’s fault, a little bit the pit crew’s fault, a little bit the COT’s fault, a little bit Brian France’s fault, a little bit of Bristol’s fault, a little bit of Goodyears’ fault; and a WHOLE lot of racin’s fault!!!! I’m hoping that this week, we get straighter rims, a track that allows some passing, a driver who’s LONG recovered from the flu, a Crew Chief who understands his driver (and vice versa), an owner who has spent some quality time with his progeny discussing improvement, and an audio feed that doesn’t leave a huge gaggle of opinionated fans without anything to base their speculation on during the crucial parts of the race!

In the meantime, I’m going to practice a little old-fashioned cockeyed optimism and rejoice in the fact that EMS seems to have REALLY great motors (for the #19, anyway) this year, Elliott didn’t drop in the points order, he didn’t seem to be a fish-out-of-water in the COT, he’s had NO DNF’s! And most importantly:

Finishing 27th didn’t make him a BIT uglier!!

(now I’ll get some blame for THAT comment, for sure!)


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT……..(but not really):

When disappointments occur, as they often do in any fan-based endeavor, it’s nice to see an online community rally to the support of those less-fortunate. This past week, I’ve been witness to some of the most INCREDIBLE camaraderie I’ve ever witnessed from a group of message-board/forum members. Yup – the Who-heads strike again.

The Who had to cancel a couple of U.S. gigs last week due to Roger Daltrey’s serious bout with a viral infection and resulting dehydration. The first was in Tampa, where several of our group traveled for a semi-official get-together, only to do an about-face and return home when the show was stopped mere moments into the 1st song. So many people expended time and money making the trip to Tampa – including several younger fans who had never seen the band live, and who had chances to meet Pete & Roger for the first time. (Race fans: Imagine the disappointment if you had traveled across the country to a race, had VIP seats & hot passes, only to have Elliott get sick and the race rain out 2 laps in!)

Instead of moaning, wailing, and gnashing of teeth – WhoTour forum members rallied around their fellow fans and provided the most sincere encouragement and moral support I’ve ever seen! The “tribe” managed (for the most part) to help each other re-group after SXSW and make the trip BACK to Tampa a week later and in return they provided those of us at home with the most incredible concert experience imaginable short of being there in person!

Each “live” attendee used cell phones, cell cameras, blackberries, etc., to stay in constant touch with those of us on the board, posting photos and a running commentary of the 2 final shows on the U.S. Tour, and took the time to call us on the phone during key songs so we could listen “live” to our band make their farewells to the US. They obtained setlists in advance so we could “cyber-synch” our experience with our own recordings of recent live gigs. We even got to share in the exuberance of Michelle getting a hug from Roger – AT LAST!! (high drool-factor!)

I recently learned how hard it is to really ENJOY a show while fiddling with cameras, cellphone, etc. You have to watch the show through a camera lens, you can’t “boogie” around lest you take shaky pics, and you certainly can’t “whoop and holler” or you’ll drown out the sound you’re trying to capture!! In a complete act of unselfishness – Burton Anderson called me on his cell at the beginning of the FINAL ENCORE of Tommy and let me hear the BIG farewell all the way from “Captain Walker” to “Listening to You!” Now THAT’S a case for sainthood, right there! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Burton!!!! That absolutely ROCKED!!

The Sounds of Sadler!

Well, I’ve waxed musical for a good bit – time to get back to hashing over the Holy Oval. No lack of “material” in the NASCAR world of late! Having spent a week or so hanging out in person with my OTHER group of online buddies (Who-heads, Attic-addicts, Bumpband-buds, Baba-brethren), I’ve noticed many similarities between the online communities that seem to spring up where and whenever a message board, blog, and a celebrity is involved! As diametrically opposed as intellectual/spiritual British rock-n-roll and American stock car racing appear to be – the FANS are much the same. As much of Pete’s work of late reflects the desire to see CONSTRUCTIVE relationships between fans and artists – it stresses equally the importance of the development of HEALTHY relationships between the fans themselves (that’s US, gang!) You can’t weave a complete tapestry with all warp and no weft, now can ya? I’m a lucky gal to have such delightfully engaging and spontaneous friends in TWO disciplines!

OK, nuf philosophy – let’s talk about Sadler!

Once again, technology has given us perhaps a bit TOO MUCH contact with our driver. No longer faced with having to “vote” each week for the privilege of listening to raceday radio contact between driver, spotter and crew chief – we have now have Raceview, Trackpass, DirectTV and other services beaming audio into our heads each Sunday. No longer satisfied with armchair critiquing what we SEE – we have now become experts at shooting holes in what we HEAR! Consquently, folks have been lambasting the communication skills of the #19’s driver AND crew chief – and the justifications run rampant!

Where do I sit? Simple answer here: I have no freaking idea! LOL!

What am I hearing? To a casual listener (i.e., NOT an insider) – sounds to me like decisions on adjustments might be a bit vague and unfruitful. Sounds like Sadler is giving good information AT FIRST, but when adjustments fail to correct the problems he describes – he becomes frustrated and blows off steam with such things as “you’ve killed the car!” (NOT a succinct description – but then again, I don’t think it’s MEANT to be)! I hear Josh “mulling” over changes out loud, asking Sadler his opinion in many cases – usually when Sadler “has his hands full” trying to control an unruly car. Is this a good time for him to mentally diagnose the car? I doubt it.

BUT…..

Josh Browne has CC’d exactly TWO races this season after returning from his controversial suspension. Prior to that, we had Mr. Evernham himself (who had NOT CC’d a race in a month of Sundays). Is it too soon to level blame after 4 races? Perhaps. Have they had time to “get their communication” roles straightened out? One would think so, now wouldn’t one.

On the other hand, we have folks out there in the cyber-ether who have been privvy to radio convos between Sadler and his assorted CC’s for several YEARS. Some report that they are NOT hearing anything new. That Elliott has worked with CC’s who are able to be decisive, respond with quick changes, and take charge. The result? Loose in, tight in the middle, loose out.

I think it will take a bit more time to tell. In the meantime – I can manage to keep myself from NASCAR nervous breakdown by rejoicing in the fact that Elliott has managed NOT to DNF, that he’s stayed OUT of big ones, that he’s sitting “respectably” in the points standings – far above his team mates and OTHER “biggies” on the track who have found themselves in the garage early on. “Attababy’s” help my racing mental state, too! We’ve had some good Attababys even tho we’ve complained about the other conversations. Nothing has happened yet that makes me give up on the season – BUT…..

This weekend is Bristol. Will the COT be a plus or a minus for the #19? Will we be calling it the “Car of Tomorrow” or “Clusterf$%#$ of Today” come Monday? THAT’S the $64 question!

HERDING CATS.......

….is what it’s like attempting to make sense to today’s penalty bomb dropped on several key competitors in NASCAR. I’ve yet to be able to draw a logical line between question(a) and answer(b) without taking a detour into the bizarre. This will be an interesting journey in several parts. Care to join me?.....

Who got penalized?

Well, the obvious answer is “the cheaters!” But if we can’t define the difference between cheating and innovation – what’s the point? We’ve seen that we cannot discourage innovation unless we want to dump Chevrolet, Dodge, Ford AND Toyota (and their $$) and have a nice little 36-race IROC season. If I understand NASCAR history correctly (which I may not – and I’m up for correction) – past “innovations” were either handled by creating a rule after the fact to prohibit a repeat –OR- the innovation was deemed a “good idea” and it’s progenitor was forced to share it with the rest of the class. OK – this means that I know who was SUPPOSED to be penalized – but my question remains unanswered. Dead end. Let’s try another path.

Was the Crew Chief penalized?

OK, we see that the crew chiefs responsible for the infractions were hit the hardest. Stay home for 2-4 races and fined a chunk of change. Since I doubt “infractions” are going to occur WITHOUT the crew chief’s knowledge – I think we’re onto something here. BUT, past history tells me that it’s entirely possible to win the Daytona 500 and even the Nextel Cup while your wunderkind crew chief is at home in his recliner. Today’s technology can put pinpoint GPS in a car and broadcast it to my sofa, can install a high resolution camera on a 1000+ degree brake rotor on a vehicle going over 150 mph. Do we think a crew chief can’t “direct” remotely as well? Well, I think we’ve found a “cheater” – but did we really penalize him? And was he the ultimate source? A lone operator? Sorry – that road is still too bumpy to try.

How about the greenbacks? I’m not entirely sure on this one, but if I’m a crew chief – I’d make sure my contract had a clause that says “Team owner pays all fines.” No, this road is too poorly lit. No more answers here.

The Driver?

We ALSO see that the drivers have been penalized driver points. OUCH! Big question here: Did the driver know? If he did – could he have stopped it? Well, let’s give a couple of these poor drivers the benefit of the doubt, and allow them to KEEP their qualifying order position (in a field of 30 or so cars) during a non-standard, made for TV quasi-qualifying race for starting position in the REAL race -- but let’s TAKE away driver points (which, btw – he can take with him to an entirely different team/crewchief)! No – this isn’t even a ROAD – it’s the driveway at the nuthouse!

Mr. Owner?

Alas, the poor Team Owner also lost points. Now THAT’S gotta hurt (but it’s gonna hurt your crews, drivers, employees and fans – THEY’RE the ones who suffer from a loss in owner points by having to live with the “go or go home” monster). If you have a great team that consistently finishes well (without cheating) – are you really worried about falling out of the Top-35? If your team is truly good – losing 50 owner points is no penalty at all!

Isn’t the Team Owner ultimately responsible for the “infractions” of his employees? $50,000 is a drop in the bucket if Mr. Owner is covering recliner-chief’s fines – but that’s not even a wiggle in most owners’ bottom lines (unless your sponsor is ALREADY ticked off). No, if this road leads to a penalty – it only does so in certain circumstances. Not good enough for me.

OK – So we still haven’t quite reached our destination – UNLESS you ask:

Who REALLY pays this penalty?

I have found at least ONE answer: The Fans, that’s who.

Tomorrow, we’ll tackle the 2nd leg of our journey and see how much we’ve been fined. In the meantime, I’ll be cat-wrangling.