TMS 2009 - Best to Worst!

Another Texas race is in the books! At almost the 11th hour, we decided to ignore the economy and head for Big D. At the very last minute I coaxed fellow blogger “SNAFAM” into joining me for an “on-the-cheap” vacation at Texas Motor Speedway. It was an exciting, interesting and eventful trip, AND windy -- with a few surprises thrown in for good measure. Here’s my “best to worst” of the Samsung 500 at TMS!

The Best…..

David Gilliland & TRG Racing REALLY know how to make their fans feel appreciated! Via David’s Fan Club message board, his fans mounted a grassroots campaign and raised nearly $3,000.00 to buy a set of tires for the #71 car last week at Martinsville and David flew the fan club colors on the decklid. At TMS, we were honored to visit with TRG team owner Kevin Buckler, Marketing VP Lloyd Wideman, and DG himself!

If I have a NASCAR pet peeve, it’s drivers, team owners, and sponsors who don’t acknowledge the loyalty and support of the fans. I realize how difficult it is to reach out on a personal level to thousands of supporters, but many NASCAR “stars” treat their fans as “necessary evils” and nuisances. Some are apathetic, and others are downright hateful at times. We realize that it’s a high-pressure job, and time is precious, but it takes so very little to make a fan feel appreciated. (Of course, there ARE some psycho fans that make the rest look bad…… more on that later).

I’m proud to say that David Gilliland and TRG Racing and staff have climbed to the epitome of fan-appreciation in my book. They’re gracious, they’re humble, they work their butts off, they’re an American small business surviving in spite of a rotten economy -- and they deserve your support! Sign up on the David Gilliland Fan Circuit at http://www.davidgilliland.com/ and find out more about this wonderful team!

Top Notch Hospitality & Great Grub! Thanks to the Tripps for providing us with great hospitality, culinary delights, and lots of laughs! Visiting with Mr. & Mrs. Lugnut is always a treat, and is the only time of the year I actually appreciate OU! Without them, I would not have had the pleasure of seeing my first gasoline-powered blender with an actual pair of handlebars and a throttle! Gotta love “The Corner” at TMS on Saturday night!

Best of all…. Good Friends! Thanks Merri, for all you did, and it was nice to find someone else who’s as directionally-challenged as I am! We got to take several unanticipated detours between Austin, Grapevine, and the Track – but had a blast every minute. Thanks, too, for the CHOCOLATE!!!! I would NOT have been able to hoof it and hike 50 miles with a 40 lb. backpack without Ethel M’s Truffles for fuel! (and I topped-off frequently)!

American Idols! Got to see “Mr. The King” up close again, and DW called me “honey!” Funny, the older I get, the hotter Richard Petty gets! Age has it’s advantages! I’d like to have DW for a Grandma, so it felt all warm and fuzzy getting a Southern greeting from “Jaws!”

The Good…..

- Lite traffic & Good Parking! I know it’s probably a sign of the sad economy, but the traffic was relatively light all four days. We had no problem finding parking near the RV lot, and thus we were close to the track exits. We parked in the infield on Saturday, and it was a blast driving through the tunnel and emerging inside. My Durango R/T loved it and I was afraid it was going to try to boogity its way onto the track -- it thinks it’s a RaceTruck! LOL! No four hour drive leaving the track on Sunday, either -- it took us less than 30 minutes to escape the track proper, but the local police had the 35S and 114W ALL messed up with bass-ackwards detours and circuitous routes!

- Nice folks who offer golf cart rides! Gotta love that Texas hospitality – we were able to find free transportation from VERY cordial volunteers and fans several times when our feet and legs had given out.

- Reed Sorenson is just downright precious! It was hard not to pinch him on the cheek and make him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich!



The Bad…..

- Wind!!!! OK, so we didn’t have to “Take Shelter Immediately” due to impending tornado, but we sought shelter nonetheless due to incredibly high winds. It obviously made the race a mess, as we heard drivers on the scanner asking if they had flats. No flats, just brutal wind gusts funneled into the track by the grandstands. My lips are making crackling sounds when I talk, and it may take 3 weeks to get all the grime washed out of my hair.

- The Nationwide race was a snoozer.

- Ticketmaster Sux!!! Folks, when you are talking on the phone with a TMS sales representative, BE SURE they work for TMS and NOT “Ticketbastards!” Tickermaster has royally screwed the music industry and it’s fans with their hostile takeovers of the primary and secondary ticket markets and (despite the economy) have driven prices out of the ballpark. Now, it seems, they’re trying to do the same with NASCAR. Alas, you can’t buy TMS tix online without going through Ticketmaster, and despite several follow up calls with my so-called “TMS rep” I wound up getting screwed when we went to pick up our tix and credentials. Take my advice – make sure you’re talking to the right folks!!

- Bus Chaos! To put it bluntly, it’s a miracle that no one was killed at the track Shuttle bus pickup point! After the Cup race, thousands of fans were trying to squeeze their way onto the shuttles. Problem is – the shuttles wouldn’t STOP! Big busses swing wide in the rear, and the crowds were pasted to the sides of the moving busses by the masses of people trying to guess which bus would have room. It was a HORRIBLE and frightening experience! When we asked the “lot attendant” to do something, she rudely replied “There’s only three of us here! What do you want us to do?” Bruton and Eddie – you boys need to address this situation BEFORE the next race. Does anyone remember The Who in Cincinatti in 1979? I’d hate to see a repeat at TMS!

- Elliott Sadler fans left disappointed once again, and I’m sure he and his team are colossally bummed, as well. According to the SFC Message board, E unloaded in “fair” shape, but despite the adjustments made over the weekend, the car got worse instead of better. I can’t help but wonder if the wind played a role in the #19’s (lack of) performance. Brett Griffin offered up several interesting and insightful explanations on the message board, and we can only hope that the #19 team overcomes COT learning curve issues and get back on track. As Brett said, “Performance cures everything” and I’m all for a cure!

The Absolute Worst (most disgusting, putrid, tastless ,etc.)…….

Folks who know me and follow this blog know that I’m a peaceful hippie and rarely get riled enough to go postal. No so on Sunday morning! I think I crossed over into the “homicidal zone!” I’ll try to keep this clean, but it won’t be easy!

We gathered for a driver appearance on Sunday morning. At the front of the crowd was a female (I refuse to call her a “lady”) decked out in the driver’s gear and holding a “We Love _____!” sign, but on the BACK of the sign, facing thousands of spectators, cameras, and film crews was a slanderous, derogatory, and downright nasty insult against one of the drivers family members! Of course, the driver and broadcast host didn’t see the back of the sign, but LOTS of people did! And boy were they pissed off!! If that wasn’t enough, this *&^%$ even had the driver AUTOGRAPH the front of the sign and laughed at him as he was leaving!!

I’ve seen a lot of rotten stunts by psycho, stalking fans in my time, but I think this takes the cake!

I’m a die-hard race fan and I LIKE to interact with the drivers, teams and crews! I want to earn their trust and respect so that I can represent the fans in a positive manner. I do not want to be perceived as a psycho because of the reprehensible actions of others. How in the HELL can I expect a driver/team/crew to respect and support ME as a fan when there are morons out there who think attention-getting stunts like this are funny??? Whoever you are, you bottom-feeding imbecile – you have shamed yourself all right – but you’ve also shamed that driver, his family, you have shamed ME, all those at the appearance, and 180,000 other fans at TMS who support this sport and its participants with dignity.

If I could find you right now, you idiot, I’d wring your neck and stick that sign where the sun don’t shine!

The “Legends” of TMS – Part III

Ahhhh. Raceday! The cosmos FINALLY gave us the weather we had been hoping for all week, and we happily discarded the earmuffs in exchange for the sunscreen and tank tops! While my out-of-towners did NOT get a full weekend of nice weather – they certainly got a good example of Texas weather in general: unpredictable!
As with any endeavor that involves 5 women and an early morning appointment – we started the day running late. Race day traffic entering the TMS complex was a booger, and by the time we located parking and schlepped our gear to the infield, we were running late for our planned gathering, but ready to rock-n-roll nonetheless.

We didn’t leave disappointed, though – and once again serendipity smiled on us and we managed to hook up with our “objective” for a little celebration. (Endless thanks to Mr. G. for once again making time where none seemed to exist!) As I turned to depart, I caught sight of a group of gentlemen chatting near the exit. Something looked familiar – and then it hit me: RICHARD PETTY! I was standing mere feet from The King himself (and I had one HELLUVA crush on him as a teenager)! It was at this point that my brain shut off.

I guess Mr. P is accustomed to the sounds of jaws hitting the pavement – and if so he certainly got a symphony from us! What an absolutely delightful, courteous and considerate man! He took the time to sign autographs for everyone, (and me all blubbery and whompityjawed), AND he thanked US for being there! HE thanked US! Now that, dear friends, is why he’s THE KING!

There’s only one thing that could even come close to holding a candle to the mornings’ adventures – and that’s HAULER SHOPPING. It was at this point that Dave’s brain shut off. He had managed to keep us safely away from the haulers for most of the weekend, but in true Kamikaze form, we broke free and headed for lootville to fill shopping lists for friends, family and of course – US!

Imagine the logistics of keeping 5 women with different shopping agendas and different rates of travel all together in a crowd of 250,000. We managed to keep everyone together with one exception – we briefly lost Mel when we were distracted at the Raceday stage, (I guess it was Hermie’s fault!) , but we managed to track her down before getting seated for the pre-race. Is it just my generation of Kubrick kids – or does the sight and sound of a B-52 flying low overhead give anyone else those “Dr. Strangelove” goosebumps?

As much as I hate to admit it, the race was somewhat of a snoozer. Long green-flag runs, mediocre performance from the EMS guys, and little passing in general kept us off the edges of our seats. I had more fun watching the Jr. fans and the Gordon fans as they baited one another until Jr.’s car got “keelt” by a wayward Shrub. Sadly, many of Jr.’s fans left the grandstands unaware that he was piloting the #5 in the final laps.

At about midpoint during the race – I wondered why there was so much “stuff” floating and swirling around us. I finally dug the glasses out of the backpack and realized that we were being swarmed by honeybees! Hundreds of obviously allergic folks bailed out of their seats. I’ve seen lots of strange stuff in my time, but a honeybee swarm during a Cup race is way up near the top of my “WTF” list!

Alas, the race was over (and rather early, too, owing to the long green-flag runs) and it was time to head back to the hotel for our last night together before half our group departed on Monday. We managed to coax Mel into coming back to Austin with us rather than spending a day in Dallas alone, and I’m glad we did! Got to do a little late-night sightseeing in the Capitol City before sending everyone packing for home.

What a wonderful experience! As many of you know, we managed to prove to ourselves and to others that former bitter rivals can put their racing opinions and differences aside and become good friends, and regardless of which driver’s “colors” we flew – we all came away from TMS with some “victories” under our belts. Is it November yet?

The “Legends” of TMS- Part II

A good rule of thumb with Texas weather is that the stronger the thunderstorm, the colder the front that spawned it. This rule held true on Saturday as we awoke to painfully cold temps and strong winds. My friends from North of the Mason Dixon were suddenly giving me the stinkeye as we headed off to the Track Souvie Shop to stock up on all the cold weather gear I told them to leave at home. “Bring you shorts & flip flops!” I suggested, “It’ll be hot & sunny!”

In retribution, they made me ride in the cargo hold all the rest of the weekend.

Hats off (or ON) to the TMS Gift shop. They had properly stocked the store with reasonably priced gloves, ear warmers, jackets & scarves. Thus bundled up, we headed back to the infield for Cup Practice. Dave immediately located the Goodyear shop and happily quizzed the techs on matters rubber, Merri and I located peach spots immediately in front of the inbound garage side, while Robin, Mel & Alnee covered the Garage Exit. I had completely forgotten NOT to leave those three without adult supervision!

Many megs of digital pics later, we headed to our seats for the Busch race. But NOT before a lengthy session at the Racing Electronics hauler for a remedial course in Scanner Programming. After explaining our plight (a waaaaay too complicated scanner and two waaaaay too feeble brains), we were advised that the kindly lady who had sold us the moster back in November was no longer with the company. Obviously, she was the only other person on the planet who understood the evil HAL9000 Technonightmare Model Scanner, and it took all three hauler employees to first figure out and then explain WHICH 3 buttons to push to program in a driver. Eureka!

I had a true rock-n-roll moment on the way to our seats for the Busch race! The South tunnel which runs under the track is, in effect, a large corruated conduit pipe. The race had started as we entered the tunnel, and the acoustics of were freakin incredible! The tunnel picks up the low end of the sound spectrum as the cars pass over, and the end result is akin to a raging battle between Entwistle and Moon! Hell, you coulda left me in the tunnel and I’d have been perfectly content with the rumble!

Using the Busch race as scanner-practice, we decided to listen to Kasey Kahne in the 9 car. Anyone who would like to intelligently continue the “Sadler Communication Quality” discussions needs to spend some time listening to Kasey.

CC: “Did that adjust make the car better?”
KK: “It’s pretty much the same, but kinda different.”

Dave and I had to laugh out loud several times as the Loose-Tight-Loose drama played out with a driver who seems to raise “vague” to an artform far beyond anything the Southern Gentleman has been accused of! According to KK, the setup problems were very similar on his Cup car in practice, lending credence to the fact that recent Evernham performance issues might originate in the shop, rather than between CC’s and drivers. Callers who feel the need to skewer Josh and/or Elliott on Sirius Radio might want to listen a bit more carefully to Ray’s show! May a strong financial partner come along soon!

The Busch race left us famished, so we beat feet back to RV land for an evening with Mr. & Mrs. Lugnut. More gracious hosts don’t exist! Due to the location of our vehicle in relation to both the track and RV lot, they kindly shuttled us to and from our destinations, and treated us to some primo steaks and wonderful spaghetti! Many, many thanks to Phil & Jenell for their kindnesses!

I must admit I wasn’t quite prepared for the cultural spectacle that is the backstretch RV lot! The distinctly Mardi Gras-like atmosphere (complete with bead throwing in exchange for bodacious tatas), made for some of the best people watching ever! Not to be left out, we took advantage of the fact that we were in possession of a number of unused racing waffles, left over from the Trackside cancellation. Now, everyone knows it’s a sin to let a good Eggo go to waste, so we decided to see if the “aero” qualities of the All-American Racing Waffle were all they were cracked up to be!

Tomorrow we’ll get around to Part III – the final chapter in our TMS saga! Stay tuned!

The “Legends” of TMS – Part One

Well folks, Dave and I survived the Spring TMS weekend! Is there such a concept as “blissful endurance?” If so, that description might be the most apt of all in reference to our most recent racing adventure! Several themes ran through the weekend: Friendship, Reconciliation, Celebration, Good-Natured Mischief, Sheer Insanity and of course………. Weather. We busted a few old myths, added new chapters to our existing “legendary” rivalries, and had one helluva good time! Here’s Part One of the Ballad of TMS!........

We arrived in Cowtown (actually, Lewisville) on Wednesday night. The poor rented Ford (a/k/a “The Belt Sander”) was loaded down with everything but the kitchen sink. Our trip from Austin was quiet and we enjoyed the gorgeous bluebonnets along the way. Our late-winter rains were plentiful and the annual wildflower display is in full swing. Of course the folks at A&M have been busy lately, as we caught sight of many “Maroonbonnets” and “Albinobonnets” outside of Hillsboro. Danged Aggies can’t leave things alone! Where are the Burnt Orange ones???

Thursday was spent playing Airport Shuttle for our little crew of international attendees. First came Robin from Niagara Falls, NY. We warned Robin – “You won’t be able to miss us at the airport!” HAHA! I think it was the bunny ears and the Sacred Racing Waffle that gave us away! Mel made it in next from Edmonton, Alberta (where it’s so cold they plug their cars in at night to keep ‘em warm)! Next was Merri from Las Vegas, NV – our “legendary” former-nemises-turned-buddy, who took one look at the lunatics dispatched to pick her up and promptly made a U-turn! (We captured her nonetheless). Finally, we snagged Alnee from Chesapeake, VA, who was standing at the Airport gate waiting patiently for her ride. “HEY LADY! WANNA WAFFLE???” was all it took to get her attention and we all headed back to the hotel (getting lost in the process and winding up near Texas Stadium! Oops!)

Our first trip to the track came on Friday morning. After picking up our credentials (which included tornado procedure packets – doh!), we headed off to the infield JUST in time to try out our new rain gear! My eternal thanks to Dollar General Stores and their great cheap NASCAR rain ponchos! Once in the infield – the fun began. Picture five women with cameras and one poor “chaperone” (long-suffering hubby Dave) on our semi-annual chocolate & coffee-fueled prowling trip to the NASCAR garage. We managed to score autographs AND hugs from Robert Yates (Merri was right – he gives GREAT hugs), autographs from Ray Evernham (I KNEW I should have brought that goat), Jeff Burton, Dr. Dick Bergeron, Bob Dilner, John Roberts AND got a pic with Cousin Carl (I was tempted to lay into him about that Richmond Busch race, but he was being such a good boy), so I just made my best “Opie” face for the camera!

As the weather turned more ominous, we decided to hoof it out to the RV area to hunt down our other “arch-nemises-turned-co-conspirator” – the Legendary Phil! Luckily, the Lugnut had installed Satellite TV and was happily monitoring the incoming weather. Here in Texas, we ALWAYS monitor weather. 24-Hr. Doppler Radar is a popular channel, and the sight of lots of red, orange and purple accompanied by many spinning “shear” markers didn’t look too good. As we patiently waited for the graphic that indicates predicted path, we managed to coax the Yankees into the RV lest they panic and run for the border. Sure ‘nuf – the red arrow on the screen ran straight through TMS and the sirens started to wail.

For those of you who haven’t been to TMS – it’s a mammoth widespread citadel in the middle of a million acres of flat cow pasture. There is NOWHERE to go in the event of a weather disaster. Folks in the track structure might well find shelter in the bathrooms & tunnel areas, but there’s no sanctuary for the tens of thousands out in the parking lots and camping areas. As I scanned the darkening sky with thousands of metal flagpoles flying overhead, all I could think of was LOOK AT ALL THE LIGHTNING MAGNETS! Fortunately, that telltale “green” sky that typically precedes a tornado hadn’t appeared and within minutes it looked like the entire storm system split DIRECTLY at the track and made end-runs around either side.

We dodged the weather bullet on Friday, and since Trackside was obviously cancelled, we headed back to Lewisville for some Tex-Mex and much needed shuteye. Saturday and Sunday would be BIG days with massive crowds and we needed all the energy we could muster! More on that in the next episode!

Trackside Sadler Fans’ Meet & Greet!

Well, since Trackside starts at 6 pm on Friday night – and since we have a healthy contingent of Sadler fans planning to attend – what a great place for us to have an unofficial meet & greet!

We’ll be gathering near the Trackside stage around about 5ish depending on Elliott’s qualifying time. Can’t miss us – we’re the ones with the waffles! (had to pick something obvious that would stand out in a crowd)! Those of you who’ve IM’d or emailed me should have my cell #, give me a call or email for a number if you need to!

Before our “meet & greet” though – I’d like to propose a “truce” of sorts. Humor me, here. As everyone knows, Sadler fans are stretched across many friendly - and some NOT so friendly - forums, blogs, IM’s, chat groups, profile sites, etc. As humans do – we form friendships and often bicker, bitch, snipe, dig and gossip about one another. Some have waged full-fledge warfare. We have some SOLID friendships out there, as well as some obviously hurt feelings within our ranks.

For THIS event, dear friends and foes, may we leave ALL baggage in the parking lot, all animosity in the car, all bickering and innuendo at home and all enmity on another planet? Let’s try to find our COMMON denominators as Sadler fans for this one event and save the unpleasantries for another time. Grind the axes elsewhere. None of us get anywhere NEAR enough time with our long-distance friends or at the track – wasting that valuable time on trivial disagreements is NOT how I want to spend these precious 4 days!

We have all the time in the world to battle it out online throughout the season. As I’ve seen, even the most ardent online opponents can become great friends if given a chance. Compromise creates respect, respect spawns understanding, understanding breeds tolerance, and tolerance builds character.


I was gonna post the lyrics to Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance” – but I’ve crossed WAAAAY over the Kumbaya limit here and I’m even making MYSELF sick! LOL!

See ya at TMS!

TMS Spring Pilgrimmage Chapter 2 – The Rentathingy

Lemme start by wishing everyone a happy Good Friday!

I live in a world of 2-seaters. BIG 2 seaters! My dear old Ford pickup – “Big Red” - is a GREAT road-trip buggy! As long as it’s a road trip for two! It has something resembling a back seat, but you’d be hard pressed to do any traveling back there unless you’re a hamster. Storage space – that’s what it is. Covered storage space. Dave’s van is the same. Yeah, it’s a huge Ford Van, but it’s one of those “rolling toolbox” vans with cages, shelves, and racks of power tools. NOT fit for travel – but you could build a town with all the stuff he hides in there!

Soooo – this year we decided to rent a suitable vehicle for the Road Trip to TMS and the various side trips needed to pick up folks & baggage at the airport, dining out, tailgating, etc. Gotta be big enuf to hold our squad of loonies AND all the loonie accessories! We got to have our “stuff” y’know! Carlin would be proud!

Timing is everything in vehicle rental-dom. It’s Texas Relay Weekend in Austin and rental vehicles are scarce as hens’ teeth right now. After several persuasive phone calls, my friendly Enterprise guy was able to locate a ride he alleged would be PERFECT for our trip! One problem, tho – it didn’t meet our most important criteria: it was not RED. Oh well, in the spirit of compromise (and desperation), I relented and took a black one. A couple of well placed #19 stickers will take care of that!

“What is it?” I asked.
“An SUV. It’s called an Edge. Ford makes it.” He replied.
“Never heard of an Edge. What’s it look like?” I inquired.
“Like an Explorer!” said my friendly Enterprise dude.

He lied.

After a half an hour of paperwork, identification, verification, payment, DNA sampling and hair follicle testing, I was given the keys to the Explorer look-alike and directed to the garage for “pre-race inspection.” It was there I got my first glimpse of the Ford Edge.

It looks like a belt sander.

This is one UGLY vehicle. If you took half a coconut shell and stuck four big wagon wheels underneath – you’d have an Edge. NO lines. NO personality. It’s so butt ugly it oughta have hair. What’s worse, it looks EXACTLY like every other soccer-mom, amorphous stagecoach on the road. NOTHING distinguishes it from it’s friends. Except that its uglier.

But it IS a big ‘un. Just the right space inside for all our belongings and buddies. With no choice, I accepted the keys and took temporary possession of the monstrosity. Of course, I had to futz around with all the gadgets inside, adjust the seats and wheel, find the A/C and get acquainted with the interior. Not bad – seats are REALLY comfy. I cranked it. Nothing happened. So I turned the key again. KKHGGGGGGAAARRRRRRZZZB! It was already running. Oops! Pretty quiet motor, huh?! (I could feel the Enterprises dude grimace.) Sheepishly, I managed to creep out of the parking garage into the light of day.

Nice steering, pretty tight turning radius for a brick on wheels. I settled in and thanked the cosmos that at least it didn’t DRIVE as hideously as it looked. Other drivers didn’t seem to be pointing and laughing. OK, I’ll give it a bit of a chance to grow on me. Then it dawned on me – I hadn’t yet checked out the Edge’s most important feature: The STEREO. Had a couple of CD’s in the briefcase. (required for REAL Who fans.) Popped in Who’s Next and let ‘er roll!

Have I told you how much I love the new Ford Edge????

Whatever this contraption lacks in looks – it MORE than makes up for in sound! Like being front, dead center at the Met! AND ----- it’ll crank to 11!!! (Spinal Tap fans will grok)! I’m happy! Elated, even! Got tuneage extrordinaire for the road trip!!! What a GREAT vehicle!!

Soooooo… If you see a bunch of happy lunatics dressed in red Sadler race gear riding in a belt sander on I-35 between Austin and DFW – don’t bother to honk. We won’t hear you!!!!

TMS Spring Pilgrimmage – The Prologue

It is exactly 7 days until Dave and I begin our semi-annual trek to Dallas Ft. Worth for the Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. Our twice-annual mecca to mingle with fellow fans, friends, co-conspirators and likeminded loonies. It’s four whole days of race-nirvana! Between Thursday and Sunday, we’ll walk a hundred miles, sweat, freeze, stand in line, sit in shade, dodge crowds, dodge Dodges, hiss at the bad guys, cheer for the good guys and enjoy the company of dear friends we see only a handful of times per year.

Right now, it’s “prep time.” I have moved entire households cross country and it didn’t require the amount of planning and packing as this race trip does! NASCAR fans are the most wardrobe simplistic folk on earth. Give ‘em comfy shoes, a pair of jeans, and a drivers’ T-Shirt & and ice chest and they’re fully outfitted, right?

NOT a chance!!!

I’m packing enough wardrobe to outfit a Broadway production, enough electronic gadgetry to outfit a 3rd World Army, and enough racing/tailgating schwag to open a themed restaurant! I have 3 big Rubbermaid containers filled with hot weather gear, wet weather gear, cool weather gear and I’m now ready for flash floods, mosquitos, blisters, headaches, famine, sunburn, darkness, deafness, heartburn, dry mouth and vitamin deficiency! Communication will NOT be an issue as we will have cell phones, land lines, TV, Satellite, text messaging, wireless internet, hi-speed internet, scanners, LCDs, Direct Connect, Weather Radio, CD Players, Mp3 Players, and a car radio! You want pictures? I have FIVE digital cameras, a camcorder, Digital Video camera, a handful of disposable 35mm’s and a freaking sketchpad!

Speaking of scanners……..

Dave and I sunk megabucks into a scanner setup during the Fall race at TMS. Not satisfied with the NORMAL scanner, my digit-head hubby had to have the model equipped with ALL the doo-dads – 2-way microphones, hookups for 3 of our closest friends, extra antennae, etc. The sweet little white-haired saleslady at the hauler seemed to be a whiz at programming the contraption. 3 simple buttons – enter the frequency code and channel and PRESTO! Audio from your favorite driver! She kindly repeated the instructions and we had NASCAR race control! Looked easy enough – I managed to get a couple more drivers programmed in without too much headscratching and off to the races we went!

Now it’s time to reprogram the scanner for THIS race. I handed the bag to Dave last week and said –

“Here ya go, honey! Can you get this thing ready for TMS?”

“Whaddaya mean, ME?” he replied, “I thought YOU were paying attention to the instructions!”

Yeah, well - that was 5 months ago! I’ve slept since then! I have COMPLETELY forgotten which three buttons the evil old white-haired windbag pushed and it’s NOWHERE in the 1,500 pages of Users Guide written in Taiwanglish that came with the darned thing! Hey, I only use this dadblasted mess a couple of times a year! For gosh sakes, I can’t even program the danged DVR and I use it almost daily! You actually expect me to do things that require 15-digit frequencies after a long winter’s nap? Nonsense!

My usual plan of action when in techno-panic is to bribe our teenage whizkid into handing the issue. Not this time – “I don’t DO radio” was the smug reply. Well hey kid, how ‘bout “I DON’T DO SUPPER?!” Naw….he knows me better than that! Still no programmed scanner.

Sooooooo --- anyone out there a Scanner Programmin’ Guru? Taking a cue from Craigslist barter section:

I HAVE MOSQUITO REPELLANT! YOU HAVE SCANNABILITY?

We’ll see where it goes! More Prologue to TMS as they prep wears on – and my sanity depletes!