KYLE BUSCH SMASHES GIBSON GUITAR

– BUT DON’T COMPARE HIM TO PETE TOWNSHEND!

Typically, I LOVE it when my two of my favorite addictions combine to produce a double-header event. I’ve been a fan of British rock band “The Who” since the early 70’s, and a NASCAR fan for almost as long. The two rarely coincide, but this past weekend they certainly did.

And I HATE it!

If there is anyone out there who has yet to see the debacle that was Kyle Busch’s trip to Nashville’s Victory Lane after Saturday’s Nationwide Series victory, here is the ignominious video:




Worst yet, John Roberts commented the following morning that Kyle Busch’s attention-getting stunt was performed “in honor of Pete Townshend.” HUH? Would Pete consider THAT an honor? I doubt it.

No sooner did the video hit the Youtube airwaves than the inevitable comparisons between Busch and Townshend started hitting the Google engines. “Busch Goes Townshend on Trophy”…. “Somewhere, Pete Townshend must be smiling” “Busch’s Townshend-like Antics” are all over the net. Apples to rotten, smelly oranges, I say.

For starters, folks, that was no mere “guitar” – it was a one-of-a-kind Gibson Les Paul TROPHY painstakingly handpainted by legendary artist Sam Bass. Initially, the NASCAR media mob reports lead readers to believe that Sam was “cool” with Kyle’s stunt, and knew in advance that the guitar was not long for this world. No so, we now learn. In fact, Sam has gone on record saying that he was “heartbroken” over the situation, and had he known of the stunt in advance, arrangements would have been made to give Kyle a “prop” guitar in order to preserve the real thing. “I wonder how Kyle would like it if I took a hammer and smashed his race car?” stated Bass. “I was so shocked that I just stood there,” said Bass of the incident that has the racing world buzzing. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was heart-broken.”

Busch’s proponents (and yes, they’re out there) contend that the trophy “belonged” to Kyle, and he could therefore do anything with it he pleased. I beg to differ. Kyle contended that he had planned to smash the guitar and “share” the pieces with his team mates. Granted, winning a race is a team effort, but I can’t imagine that any of the crew would prefer to own a splinter of wood & metal over having the ability to gaze at the entire trophy – the intact symbol of their hard work - enshrined in a case at the shop. Nonetheless, since Kyle was unable to even do a “decent” job of smashing the beautiful trophy, he stated that he intends to “send it to the bandsaw” to be divided up amongst his team. How classy.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “trophy” as: 1: something gained or given in victory or conquest especially when preserved or mounted as a memorial. So much for preservation, Kyle! The Nashville trophy was a unique work of art, and although Busch stated that he planned to reconcile and “order two more” from Sam Bass, he added insult to injury by alluding to the fact that Sam would “make more money” replicating the trophy. Sam’s reply? “I don’t think get gets it.”

Understandably, many in the NASCAR media masses are LOVING Kyle’s fiasco. Of course they are – it gives them something to report about and keeps the peanut galleries abuzz with controversy. It’s true that the NASCAR media folk moan the “antiseptisism” of the sport as it makes their jobs more difficult, but I’d far rather watch a report on a driver or team who undertook an act of class and dignity than read rants about rewarding the bad behavior of a select few NASCAR punks. For more on Kyle’s recent on-track Dover fiasco, check out http://www.snafam.blogspot.com/. Seems his aggression isn’t limited to inanimate objects, as he spent the previous weekend attempting to wreck the entire field!

True, Townshend has been the instrument of destruction for many 6-stringed instruments over the years, but one thing makes Pete’s artistic auto-destruction different than Busch’s – Pete’s broken guitars were NOT given to him as trophies -- objects of honor and appreciation. He broke the ones he used – and paid for (even if “after the fact” in the early days of the Who). With a few exceptions, staged for charitable purposes, Pete Townshend STOPPED smashing guitars when he felt that the act started to become rehearsed and shtick-y. As any Who-O-Phile knows, Townshend’s first smashed guitar was an accident (Railway Hotel, Harrow in September of 1964 – listed in Rolling Stone Magazine’s list of '50 Moments That Changed the History of Rock & Roll), but the audience loved it so much they thought it was part of the act. Subsequent guitars met their demise at Pete’s hands as a result of his expression of ANGER and RAGE – NOT as a part of a victory celebration or a PR stunt!

Kyle Busch should be punished, penalized or reprimanded for his outrageous stunt. If not, who knows what ridiculously disrespectful shenanigans he’ll pull the next time he has a hankering for a little attention and limelight? Drowning puppies & kittens, perhaps? Kyle should publicly apologize – not only to Sam Bass, the Nashville Speedway and race sponsors – but to fans AND to Pete Townshend, who’s name he’s invoked in disgrace. As for me, I’d love to see Kyle perched upon the Victory Lane stage, with Townshend batting him in the arse with a Gibson SG a-la Abbie Hoffman at Woodstock! THAT would be justice!

Elliott Sadler Sez "NUTS" To Paying Fans?

Just when I think the Sadler Fan Club cannot possibly manage to throw its’ paying members a more ludicrous curve, my 2009 annual Sadler Fan Club pack (for which I paid $30 – family membership fee) arrived the other day.

It’s a can of nuts.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. The Sadler Fan Club has been in a downward spiral with regard to fan-relations for years, but this latest “gift” from the Sadlers has us all scratching our heads in a mixture of disgust and downright wonderment! Since the 2006 “expired Tylenol” fan pack debacle, I completely expect the annual Sadler Fan Pack to be 1) late, 2) thrown together with little or no thought, and 3) bizarre – but a can of goobers? Seems the SFC has always patterned their fan-relations policy under the direction of Leona Helmsley!

The note inside the box, as well as the Sadler-adorned label on the nut can tells me this gob of goobers is a “gift” in appreciation for all my support as a Sadler fan. Funny, I always thought of gifts as being given free of charge! Instead, Sadler staff advised me that the legumes are in lieu of he normal race-themed fan club pack we typically expect and receive.

Calls to the Sadler Fan Club reveal that they are “doing things a bit differently” this year, and instead of annual fan packs offering their paying members NASCAR-related, driver-related, or even sponsor-related doodads, merch or souvies – we’re all getting the nuts. I call that different, all right!

Of course, our nuts were received with no advance notice from the SFC (that would involve advance planning and communication – neither of which are in great supply at the FC) – initially, members were led to believe they were actually receiving a heartfelt gift of Virginia’s finest gourmet peanuts from the grateful Sadlers. It was not until a fan club member inquired about the annual fan packs on the message board that folks were directed (as usual) to “call or email” the FC with questions and the nutcase was cracked.

Aren’t peanuts baaaaad luck in the realm of NASCAR? Granted, Elliott Sadler has a contingent of fans that truly belong in the “nut” category, but it seems that he and his staff have gone well out of their way to distance themselves in past years from the fans as a whole – so much so, in fact, that my initial thought upon receiving nuts from the Sadlers was: “I wonder if they’re trying to make a point?” It wouldn’t surprise me, and that’s just sad. I’m sure Elliott, Hermie (and all the other drivers) would recoil in horror if I brought my SFC “gift” to pit road for a chance autograph!

I do have to applaud Belmont Peanuts of Southampton, Inc. for growing some really crunchy goobers. I’m not a big peanut fan, but Dave likes them. I did notice, however, that Belmont offers the same can of nuts on their website for $9.95 retail, with a discount for wholesale and/or bulk orders. Seeing as how I paid the Sadlers $30 (up $5 from last year) for my “family” membership, I’m wondering why I couldn’t have helped them support one of their local businesses by ordering the nuts myself from Belmont – that way at least I’d have gotten my “peanuts worth” and two additional cans! I won’t have my annual bumpersticker or decal this year, so perhaps I can just tie the empty can to my antenna or hang it on a string around my neck to show my Sadler support!

So, as Elliott Sadler’s performance on the track has declined, so have the numbers in this fan club “peanut gallery” – particularly those willing to “shell out” membership fees each year to fund fan club events that only those near Charlotte or Emporia can attend (unless they’re as well off as the Sadlers themselves)!

I’ve always harbored the suspicion that the Sadler family wished to say “NUTS!” to the fans – I guess I was right!

TRG Motorsports & David Gilliland

– The Everyfan’s Grassroots Race Team -

I’m a major history buff. Especially when it comes to investigating “grassroots” movements that have made a difference in humanity’s timeline. When you think about it, there are quite few major accomplishments which started as grassroots efforts and evolved to shape mankind. Christianity, Womens’ Suffrage, Civil Rights, and the American Revolution immediately come to mind.

Today’s economy has jumpstarted the “grassroots revolution” once again. Small entities of like-minded folk have seen the benefit of gathering the support and garnering the loyalty of their constituents, customers, and devotees. By banding together in support of a worthy cause, we at the bottom-rung of the capitalistic ladder have once again discovered that we can indeed make a difference. In a world of corporate domination, there ARE a few entities surviving against all odds and there ARE worthy underdogs turning into Cinderellas right under our noses.

It’s happening in NASCAR as I type this.

If you like success stories, check out driver David Gilliland and TRG Motorsports. Regardless of your favorite driver/team, I think you’ll find DG/TRG’s story worthy of your investigation, if not your outright support!

Against all odds, Gilliland entered the NASCAR Cup scene and made a name for himself despite working amidst the heart-wrenching decay of Yates Racing. Rather than continue the 2009 season in an “iffy” part-time ride at Yates, this competitive, talented driver elected to throw his hat into the TRG Motorsports’ ring; paring up with visionary race-meister Kevin Buckler and staff. Compared to the big “corporate” race teams, TRG had many years’ success in other race series, but made their NASCAR debut as the under-funded under-dog.

NASCAR has seen many of its family-owned and operated race teams meet their demise and succumb to corporate takeovers and inability to fund a competitive stable of cars. Some have just folded altogether. An excellent example is Dale Earnhardt Jr. who (rightfully?) left his family-owned team and joined the uber-corporate Hendrick Racing team – with nothing but mediocre performance to show for it. Tough times for even the veteran and “popular” drivers/teams. Enter DG and TRG and a grassroots effort to succeed in spite of everything the economy has thrown at them!

How? I can’t tell you the entire secret to their success, but I CAN tell you that these folks do the VERY best job staying connected to, supportive and appreciative of their fans (a/k/a the Grassrooters)! How loyal are DG/TRG fans? Just a day or two ago, I noted several fans VOLUNTEERING to have their personal vehicles wrapped in a potential sponsor’s advertising and promote them in their hometowns for free! Supporters of grassroots efforts such as DG/TRG need a worthy cause to stand behind, and I’ve truly found none so worthy in all my years as a NASCAR fan.

The DG/TRG Cinderella story continues as we head into Talladega this weekend. Having obtained a much-needed sponsorship before the Phoenix race, TRG and Gilliland were thrown another curve today as it was announced that the sponsorship had fallen through, ostensibly due to “lack of funding” on the potential sponsor’s part. All too familiar a refrain, isn’t it? No matter, the fans and supporters are cheering on the #71 car with its hood once-again bereft of advertising and making plans to celebrate a grand finish at Talladega. Is it working? David Gilliland and the #71 care are running 2nd fastest in practice. Miracle? Magic? Coincidence?

I think not.

Join in the grassroots effort – visit http://www.davidgilliland.com/ and sign up as a fan. Go to http://www.trgmotorsports.com/ and check out their creds. You’ll feel good about being part of the Cinderella story.

TMS 2009 - Best to Worst!

Another Texas race is in the books! At almost the 11th hour, we decided to ignore the economy and head for Big D. At the very last minute I coaxed fellow blogger “SNAFAM” into joining me for an “on-the-cheap” vacation at Texas Motor Speedway. It was an exciting, interesting and eventful trip, AND windy -- with a few surprises thrown in for good measure. Here’s my “best to worst” of the Samsung 500 at TMS!

The Best…..

David Gilliland & TRG Racing REALLY know how to make their fans feel appreciated! Via David’s Fan Club message board, his fans mounted a grassroots campaign and raised nearly $3,000.00 to buy a set of tires for the #71 car last week at Martinsville and David flew the fan club colors on the decklid. At TMS, we were honored to visit with TRG team owner Kevin Buckler, Marketing VP Lloyd Wideman, and DG himself!

If I have a NASCAR pet peeve, it’s drivers, team owners, and sponsors who don’t acknowledge the loyalty and support of the fans. I realize how difficult it is to reach out on a personal level to thousands of supporters, but many NASCAR “stars” treat their fans as “necessary evils” and nuisances. Some are apathetic, and others are downright hateful at times. We realize that it’s a high-pressure job, and time is precious, but it takes so very little to make a fan feel appreciated. (Of course, there ARE some psycho fans that make the rest look bad…… more on that later).

I’m proud to say that David Gilliland and TRG Racing and staff have climbed to the epitome of fan-appreciation in my book. They’re gracious, they’re humble, they work their butts off, they’re an American small business surviving in spite of a rotten economy -- and they deserve your support! Sign up on the David Gilliland Fan Circuit at http://www.davidgilliland.com/ and find out more about this wonderful team!

Top Notch Hospitality & Great Grub! Thanks to the Tripps for providing us with great hospitality, culinary delights, and lots of laughs! Visiting with Mr. & Mrs. Lugnut is always a treat, and is the only time of the year I actually appreciate OU! Without them, I would not have had the pleasure of seeing my first gasoline-powered blender with an actual pair of handlebars and a throttle! Gotta love “The Corner” at TMS on Saturday night!

Best of all…. Good Friends! Thanks Merri, for all you did, and it was nice to find someone else who’s as directionally-challenged as I am! We got to take several unanticipated detours between Austin, Grapevine, and the Track – but had a blast every minute. Thanks, too, for the CHOCOLATE!!!! I would NOT have been able to hoof it and hike 50 miles with a 40 lb. backpack without Ethel M’s Truffles for fuel! (and I topped-off frequently)!

American Idols! Got to see “Mr. The King” up close again, and DW called me “honey!” Funny, the older I get, the hotter Richard Petty gets! Age has it’s advantages! I’d like to have DW for a Grandma, so it felt all warm and fuzzy getting a Southern greeting from “Jaws!”

The Good…..

- Lite traffic & Good Parking! I know it’s probably a sign of the sad economy, but the traffic was relatively light all four days. We had no problem finding parking near the RV lot, and thus we were close to the track exits. We parked in the infield on Saturday, and it was a blast driving through the tunnel and emerging inside. My Durango R/T loved it and I was afraid it was going to try to boogity its way onto the track -- it thinks it’s a RaceTruck! LOL! No four hour drive leaving the track on Sunday, either -- it took us less than 30 minutes to escape the track proper, but the local police had the 35S and 114W ALL messed up with bass-ackwards detours and circuitous routes!

- Nice folks who offer golf cart rides! Gotta love that Texas hospitality – we were able to find free transportation from VERY cordial volunteers and fans several times when our feet and legs had given out.

- Reed Sorenson is just downright precious! It was hard not to pinch him on the cheek and make him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich!



The Bad…..

- Wind!!!! OK, so we didn’t have to “Take Shelter Immediately” due to impending tornado, but we sought shelter nonetheless due to incredibly high winds. It obviously made the race a mess, as we heard drivers on the scanner asking if they had flats. No flats, just brutal wind gusts funneled into the track by the grandstands. My lips are making crackling sounds when I talk, and it may take 3 weeks to get all the grime washed out of my hair.

- The Nationwide race was a snoozer.

- Ticketmaster Sux!!! Folks, when you are talking on the phone with a TMS sales representative, BE SURE they work for TMS and NOT “Ticketbastards!” Tickermaster has royally screwed the music industry and it’s fans with their hostile takeovers of the primary and secondary ticket markets and (despite the economy) have driven prices out of the ballpark. Now, it seems, they’re trying to do the same with NASCAR. Alas, you can’t buy TMS tix online without going through Ticketmaster, and despite several follow up calls with my so-called “TMS rep” I wound up getting screwed when we went to pick up our tix and credentials. Take my advice – make sure you’re talking to the right folks!!

- Bus Chaos! To put it bluntly, it’s a miracle that no one was killed at the track Shuttle bus pickup point! After the Cup race, thousands of fans were trying to squeeze their way onto the shuttles. Problem is – the shuttles wouldn’t STOP! Big busses swing wide in the rear, and the crowds were pasted to the sides of the moving busses by the masses of people trying to guess which bus would have room. It was a HORRIBLE and frightening experience! When we asked the “lot attendant” to do something, she rudely replied “There’s only three of us here! What do you want us to do?” Bruton and Eddie – you boys need to address this situation BEFORE the next race. Does anyone remember The Who in Cincinatti in 1979? I’d hate to see a repeat at TMS!

- Elliott Sadler fans left disappointed once again, and I’m sure he and his team are colossally bummed, as well. According to the SFC Message board, E unloaded in “fair” shape, but despite the adjustments made over the weekend, the car got worse instead of better. I can’t help but wonder if the wind played a role in the #19’s (lack of) performance. Brett Griffin offered up several interesting and insightful explanations on the message board, and we can only hope that the #19 team overcomes COT learning curve issues and get back on track. As Brett said, “Performance cures everything” and I’m all for a cure!

The Absolute Worst (most disgusting, putrid, tastless ,etc.)…….

Folks who know me and follow this blog know that I’m a peaceful hippie and rarely get riled enough to go postal. No so on Sunday morning! I think I crossed over into the “homicidal zone!” I’ll try to keep this clean, but it won’t be easy!

We gathered for a driver appearance on Sunday morning. At the front of the crowd was a female (I refuse to call her a “lady”) decked out in the driver’s gear and holding a “We Love _____!” sign, but on the BACK of the sign, facing thousands of spectators, cameras, and film crews was a slanderous, derogatory, and downright nasty insult against one of the drivers family members! Of course, the driver and broadcast host didn’t see the back of the sign, but LOTS of people did! And boy were they pissed off!! If that wasn’t enough, this *&^%$ even had the driver AUTOGRAPH the front of the sign and laughed at him as he was leaving!!

I’ve seen a lot of rotten stunts by psycho, stalking fans in my time, but I think this takes the cake!

I’m a die-hard race fan and I LIKE to interact with the drivers, teams and crews! I want to earn their trust and respect so that I can represent the fans in a positive manner. I do not want to be perceived as a psycho because of the reprehensible actions of others. How in the HELL can I expect a driver/team/crew to respect and support ME as a fan when there are morons out there who think attention-getting stunts like this are funny??? Whoever you are, you bottom-feeding imbecile – you have shamed yourself all right – but you’ve also shamed that driver, his family, you have shamed ME, all those at the appearance, and 180,000 other fans at TMS who support this sport and its participants with dignity.

If I could find you right now, you idiot, I’d wring your neck and stick that sign where the sun don’t shine!

The Battle for Freedom - A Few Thoughts on Behalf of the Losers

I celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day with mixed emotions. While I’m elated to live in a world where we enjoy the fruits of equality, where we no longer segregate and oppress men and women of color, where we seem to have taken giant steps in righting the wrongs of our forefathers – I cannot help but remember that there those for whom MLK’s “dream” has yet to become reality.

America often celebrates its heroes while wearing rose-colored glasses:

- We declare a holiday to commemorate Christopher Columbus’s “discovery” of a world that was anything BUT “new” to the 12 million native inhabitants who flourished in freedom before 1492.

- We honor the “pilgrims” with a day of Thanksgiving – forgetting those who deserved thanks the most – the native people who gave of their food and land so that the ill-prepared settlers could survive. Of course, the settlers gave them a nice case of smallpox as a “Thank You” gift.

- We commemorate Andrew Jackson on our currency, but do we remember The Indian Removal Act of 1830 (a/k/a “The Trail of Tears”) whenever we pull a twenty from our wallets? Or that Jackson’s inaugural speech referred to the “rude savages” standing in the way of expansion West (and we think Bush was a stinker)?

- We name towering redwoods after General William Sherman, while conveniently ignoring his popular credos: “The only good indian is a dead indian.” And “We must act with vindictive earnestness against the Sioux, even to their extermination, men, women and children."

- We moan over the current woes of the economy and cry for massive bailouts, but how many of us realize that in 1862 the American government refused to honor treaty obligations to the Dakota Sioux Indians during a time of widespread starvation. When tribal leaders, desperate for relief, asked for food on credit because the U.S. government had failed to provide moneys owed, the local Indian agent replied, “If they are hungry, let them eat grass or their own dung.”

- We fear foreclosures and falling home values, not giving a moment’s thought to those living (if you can call it that) on America’s reservations. We ignore the fact that our country’s worst rates of poverty, unemployment, suicide, alcoholism & drug abuse, infant mortality, and lack of health care can be found within a single race of Americans.

As we celebrate Dr. King’s legacy of civil rights and President-elect Obama’s promise of change, let’s not forget that the long battle for freedom was lost by America’s indigenous peoples. Let’s not forget that starvation and forced migration were effective weapons of mass destruction. Let’s contemplate – just for a moment – that “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” was NOT the intention of our founding fathers with regard to Native Americans. Extermination was.

I have a dream, too. I hope that one day we will add “Crazy Horse” Day to our roster of National holidays, and we will see another great freedom-fighter’s words inscribed in granite in Washington, DC:

"In 1868, men came out and brought papers. We could not read them and they did not tell us truly what was in them. We thought the treaty was to remove the forts and for us to cease from fighting. When I reached Washington, the Great Father explained to me that the interpreters had deceived me. All I want is right and just. ....I am poor and naked, but I am the chief of the nation. We do not want riches but we do want to train our children right. Riches would do us no good. We could not take them with us to the other world. We do not want riches. We want peace and love.”

-- Red Cloud (Makhpiya-luta) , April, 1870

Romeo & George Gillette -- A Play in Three Acts

We knew it had to happen eventually. At some point, it was inevitable that Elliott Sadler’s PR gurus would finalize the spin on the recent contract debacle, and the Southern Gentleman would have to step into the spotlight and give the media HIS version of events. Yesterday’s annual driver interrogation known as “NASCAR Media Day” turned out to be Sadler’s chance to do some ‘splainin of his own, and the official fan club site has posted the entire interview.

It’s a LOOOONNNNG read!

So… to save my dear readers the time of sifting through the lengthy Emporian saga, replete with Sadlerese redundancy, I’ve taken it upon myself to adapt the situation to a screenplay in Three Acts -- “cliff notes” first-person version for your enjoyment!

“The Reader’s Undigested Version of The Elliott Sadler Contract Interview”

Act I: - GEM Boardroom

George Gillette: “Let’s have a meeting.”
Sadler: “Uh oh!”
#19 Team: “It wasn’t OUR fault!”
George Gillette: “Maybe they’re right. Elliott, shape up or ship out!”

Act II – GEM Boardroom

George Gillette: “Let’s have a meeting.”
Sadler: “Uh oh!”
Geoge Gillette: “I meant what I said in the last meeting.”
Sadler: “Yeah. Right. Anybody seen my passport?”

Act III – Telephone Tag

George Gillette: (ring, ring) “Hello, AJ? Let’s have a meeting!”
AJ: “Lemme call my manager, OK?
AJ (to manager): (ring, ring) “Hey! They want me to drive the #19!”
AJ’s Manager: “OK, I’ll tell the press!”
Press: “OOOOOOOOOoooo!”
Sadler Fans: “AAAAARRRRRGH!”
Sadler Detractors: “Neener, Neener, NEEEEEEEEE-ner!”
Sadler: (ring, ring) “George? You were SERIOUS???”
George Gillette: “Yeppers.”
Sadler: (ring, ring) “Hello, Lawyer? Can they do that?”
Lawyer: “We’ll take care of it.”
Sadler: “OK, and can you get me a new passport?”
McDonalds: (ring, ring) “Hi George! Ixnay on AJ – he doesn’t look cute in funny wigs!”
Best Buy: (ring, ring) “Hi George! Ditto.”
Stanley Tools: (ring, ring) “What they said.”
George Gillette: “OK, we’ll keep Sadler.”

Press: “OOOOOOOOOOoooo!”
Sadler Fans: “YAAAAAAAY!:
Sadler Detractors: “WTF?”
Sadler: “Whew, that was close! Now if I could just find my passport!!!!”

THE END

There. Now wasn’t that easier than reading the whole thing?

Of course, Sadler’s interview does an excellent job of laying down a straight party line and singing Kumbayas with regard to the 2009 season. One thing about the interview stuck in my craw, however. With characteristic repetitiveness, Sadler expressed his unyielding commitment to protecting himself, his team and his sponsors. “Doing what’s best” for those whom Sadler considers the “important” characters in the play is his utmost concern.

But NOTHING is mentioned about his fans. Zilch. Nada.

While not all of Sadler’s fans have been complimentary over the years, the Emporian still has a cadre of loyal (albeit fewer) fans who acted with support and outcry over the possibility of having him absent from the track in 2009. It seems as if Sadler has forgotten the all-important “final act” of his play – the one where he is able to entice, engage, and coerce his fans to go spend their money on those sponsor products! Sadler should realize that his fans are protecting their pocketbooks more fiercely than he is trying to protect his sponsors - and IF it is his “marketability” that saved his job – he should do a better job of looking after those on whom that marketability depends.

So, while the country celebrates a “mandate for change and improvement” next week - just a few miles North of Emporia, VA – here’s hoping that Elliott Sadler and his staff realize that they has a similar mandate – not only to do a better job on the track in 2009, but to improve his relationship with his fans, as well.

(Oh, yeah -- hope you get the passport, E!)

High Jumps & Flat Tracks

Terry Poovey, Randy Waldrop, Sammy Sweet, Porky Rollins …… names that commanded respect in the world of Texas Flat Trace Motorcycle Racing in the 1970’s – legends that spoke of mechanical supremacy, fearless performance, and incomparable teamwork. Lost in time, these names have been almost forgotten among those who dared to experiment with extreme racing (as we know it today) during an era when a rider/driver had to spend as much time building a machine as riding it. Men who rode and built bikes that NEVER went straight – and had nothing more to challenge the racing Gods than a heavy steel shoe to keep the wayward vehicle from being “too loose” to ride to victory…….

Flat Track Racing in the 70’s was daring – Evel Knievel would be proud of the men who dared slide sideways on two wheels to take home a checkered flag that was often no more than a home-sewn relic. Men who traveled along the Texas/Louisiana borders in search of a victory that few would consider worthy of the time, money & effort it took to make a living on the short oval, they let their love of motorcycles and competition rule over conventional values and made them often misunderstood loners. It was just plain nuts; especially to the wives, girlfriends, and families who followed Short Trackers across the damp plains of Texas in search of elusive trophies won at the family’s rental expense. Texas Flat Trackers were driven – but by God knows what!

Few today are familiar or even remember Texas Short (or Flat) Track Motorcycle Racing in the 70’s – similar to NASCAR – Short Track is a constant series of left-hand turns where athletics meets the road – in other words, the only way to keep a wayward cycle from becoming a wall-bound projectile was to put one’s foot down – firmly – on the track, wearing a steel shoe designed to act as a third member in absentia. When it’s time to turn left, folks, the rider simply planted their foot on a dirty, gravel-impregnated, track and attempt to slide a 120-mph motorcycle sideways using only that left digit as a stabilizer. Yup – purely nuts!

Today, 61-year-old Porky Rollins of Crosby, Texas, remembers the days of glory with a bit of flippancy born of riding rockets that few could control today: “We just followed the money,” Rollins says of days when Nationally Ranked riders had to ply their trade against Texas locals capable (and willing) to kick their sideways asses into eternity. “We were better then most of the National numbers, but we didn’t have the dollars to beat ‘em in National competition.” Said Rollins, who’s local record lent credence to the fact that he could have been a National No.1 had the financial Gods swung his way. In the 70’s, Nationally-ranked riders had to compete on a local circuit with the likes of Randy Waldrop, Sammy Sweet, and Rollins himself , who stood out amongst the rest as a bike builder, rider, crew chief an guru we well as a competitor.

The world may have lost a daredevil along the likes of Evel Kenievel, but if, as a lasting legacy, the world can grasp and remember those who rode sideways on steel shoes in the 70’s – we haven’t lost the “extreme” history of two-wheeled sports at all.

Race Invaders! A Football (and Racing) Fable.

Let’s play “Pretend,” OK? Bear with me on this one, gang – I’m going to spin a tale, and I know it’s a stretch but I think you’ll see where I’m going with it:

Once Upon A Time…….

Let’s Pretend that the NFL has fallen upon financial hard times. New football safety rules created by The Commission have forced teams to expend beyond their budgets for new safety equipment and training personnel. The Commission has limited the amount of time a team can access their Commission-owned practice fields, forcing the few football teams with enough left in their kitties to build their own, or suffer in performance during the regular season.

Let’s Pretend that as the football season rolls on, it becomes painfully obvious that the only teams who will make it to the playoffs are the few with heavy-duty corporate financial backers – those who could afford the new expenses. In fact, several popular teams had to forfeit games because they couldn’t afford the plane fares and hotel expenses to travel! Sadly, several teams have folded altogether - unable to afford the capital or the stress caused by the "new" rules.

Let’s Pretend, that in order to survive, my Hometown Professional Football Team (who I’ve supported with my hard-earned dollars and my invaluable loyalty for years) has been contacted by a foreign corporation and offered an avenue to survival – sponsorship $$$. Coincidentially (or not), the Iaintfromaroundhere, gMbH, S.A., Ltd. Corp. also owns an International Soccer Team that at one time in the past was the envy of the planet. Seems the round-ball-with-spots passtime has also gone downhill in the last few years and my new “international” backer is looking for greener pastures – a new place to cash in on the exposure that comes from having their logo plastered all over my team’s uniforms and all over my city’s Super Stadium (which, BTW, is owned by the Commissioner’s sister).

Let’s Pretend that it’s offseason, and I’m looking forward to my team’s upcoming Draft picks – our chance to add the Heissman winner to our roster as well as a few more choice picks from the ranks of Collegiate players (some from my home state) who’ve devoted their youth (and their parents’ life savings) to making it to the pros.

BUT…..

Let’s Pretend that the Commission has decided to allow my Now-Corporate Co-Owner (who now has 51% controlling interest in my team) to forego the draft entirely – opting instead to allow them to fill my team’s ranks from their overseas Soccer team! Their rationale, I’m told, is that these are athletes who are just as qualified to play as our Collegiate hometown boys from U! After all, they can run, they can kick, they can hit things with their heads, and there’s a precedent! Didn’t the Detroit Lions let George Plimpton QB for a quarter way back in 1968? So there!

Let’s Pretend that I’m sitting in my living room, watching the opening season game. My team’s Quarterback is gone (now relegated to coaching Arena Football), replaced by the same superstar soccer guy who used to look down his nose at our “primitive” version of the sport. Our Running Backs are guys we’ve never seen before (with last names we can’t pronounce), and our Fullback, Center, and Special Teams can’t pronounce anything intelligible on camera except the name of the Sponsor! My favorite player – the one I’ve followed since Pop Warner days – is now sitting on the bench on the 4th string, allowing the new “International” players a chance at stardom and TV coverage. Let’s Pretend I’m trying to decide whether or not to renew my season tickets.

And finally, Let's Pretend that they lived Blissfully Ignorant Ever After (but with ample capital, a marketing office in New York City, and a Commissioner telling me this is sooooooo good for the sport!).

Let’s Pretend the same thing is happening in NASCAR! No. Wait. We don’t have to pretend anymore, do we?

A Top Ten and an Bit of an Empty Nest

Somebody must have messed with the planets this week!

On Friday, we were hit with the news that our last remaining offspring had been approved for his first apartment. We had been halfway expecting our impending freedom from parenting for a while, but we weren't exactly given any specific date on which to expect the final kiddo to depart. The bomb was dropped, nonetheless, and we were faced with moving a 19-year old out into the world over the weekend. So.... just how NOT prepared can one be for the emotional empty spot that suddenly hits when you drop off that last load of “stuff”? Dave and I sat in the truck tonight after unloading the umpteenth truckload of “care packages” and looked at one another with audible “gulps” of realization that we are now Empty Nesters.

I can't speak for hubby, but I had to find some upsides to the whole thing (being the quintessential cockeyed-optimist) to keep from goin nutz. So, for posterity's sake, here are a few tips for those of you who will eventually need to seek the positive in losing an offspring to the big world outside:

- The former resident's “hazardous materials area” (a/k/a “bedroom”) can now become MY more sophisticated-sounding “Ruem du'Junque.”

- I really needed new living room furniture, and I still wield enough power to actually FORCE the child to take my old loveseat.

- Hubby can no longer ground me from visiting Bed, Bath & Beyond for new “necessities” for the kiddo.

- Four new empty walls on which to install NASCAR sheet metal.

- The ingredients necessary for tomorrow's planned meal will no longer mysteriously dissappear from the fridge overnight as if eaten by a giant rat that descends the staircase in the wee hours.

- Our internet should run faster without that 3rd PC downloading huge Anime cartoon files.

- I was gonna say we could run around nekkid, but he's already called to say he's coming back over to pick up a forgotten coax cable and some more bathtowels, so I guess that's out the window!

The good news is, in the midst of all this planetary confusion and emotional strife, SOMETHING went just as unexpectly RIGHT over the weekend:

SADLER GOT A TOP TEN!!!!

As much as I like to complain about my own aggravations of late, my NASCAR buddies have had a handful of their own! Not to mention my favorite driver! We got a few bright lights today, though – and JUST when needed, too! As an independent-thinking homo sapiens, I reserve the right to bitch and moan from time to time when the “Oval Facet” of my life tanks a bit – and I usually aim my slings and arrows Sadlerwise (Cuz, face it -- that's who I follow)!

I also have to eat a little crow from time to time! I did so today, as I listened to the #19's scanner and heard another seemingly head-bonkin battle bewteen a guy on the box (Ray) and a guy in the cawh (Elliott). I think I even opined in a race chat that Esad was being a little too complaintent in his insistence that problems lie in liner pressures vs. tire pressures, and whether it was a good time to pit or not.

Elliott Sadler was right.

Those of us who enjoy the antics of our Southern Gentleman sometimes get too caught up in the persona that shows up on weekly panel shows and self-effacing commercials to remember that this guy DOES know how to win a race. Even when it comes to details that differ in the opinion of the great Ray Evernham, Sadler stood up and expressed himself with no compunction, no apologies, and made a call that got him a Top 10 Finish in the Kansas race.

I guess sometimes you gotta listen to these kids, huh? Thanks, Will and Elliott – guess us old folks need to learn the hard way to have a little faith from time to time! Maybe that means that kiddo will do OK, too.

Go ahead. Mess with the planets!

Shine 'Em On!!!!

We have a saying down here that's used when you want to ignore someone without making them feel ignored. It's used when you want to make annoying SOBs go away, but you can't afford to offend 'em:

You just “Shine 'Em On!”

Shining on someone involves telling them whatever needs to be told in order to shut 'em up, leave 'em ignorantly happy, and with the full hope they won't realize that they're nothing more than an aggravation and necessary evil in the eyes of the “Shiner.”

Today, I'm watching the Richmond race from the comfort of my sofa – NOT, as planned, from a seat at Richmond International Raceway, and boy-howdy I'm glad! Hubby and I had planned for the better part of a year to make a return trip to VA this year for a NASCAR Fan Club event we were led to believe would be a repeat, annual shindig prior to the race, and to enjoy ourselves prowling about the Blue Ridge mountains for antiques. We're not there; and I'm not 100% sure, but I think we got shined on.

Tried to get info earlier in the year to confirm the event so we could make money-saving advance reservations, buy race tix, secure convenient hotel, etc. A race weekend for two, including airfare, costs appx. $2,000 per person – and advance planning on airfare is the only way many can afford to make the trip. Kept getting assurances that an event was in the works, but when I asked for further confirmation, well, I got shined on.

Good thing, too! Turns out Fan Club folks finally decided to forego the event entirely, and have opted for a 3 hour bowling alley appearance on a weeknight in another city all together. That's about an hour shorter than the average free autograph appearance for a NASCAR driver – and once again folks are being asked to pay for the privilege of attending (even though they've already paid annual FC dues). Attempts to find out why the sudden turn of events have been met with lots of sparkly shine.

I think I know why. Fame, fortune and celebrity cost a public figure dearly – loss of privacy, relinquishment of control over ones' time, schedule, and outside pursuits; the inability to venture forth in public without creating a scene and, sadly, the ever-present collection of maniac-fans who tend to make the rest seem an insurmountable threat to one's sanity. The compensation, though, is the upside. The obvious financial rewards of fame and fortune ensure the celeb the ability to live comfortably, and in peace and private AFTER the limelight has gone out. One way to tell when that's happened? There's nobody left to shine on anymore.

My hometown is full of “one-hit-wonders” and I've been around enough in the music biz to see how many are remembered and how many have been forgotten by all but the annoying maniacs. The former are the ones who created a legacy of loyalty by treating their admirers with respect, appreciation and making them feel a sense of value and participation in the end result which is a successful career. The latter? They just shined everybody on......................

Soooo – the next time my favorite NASCAR celebrity's staff emails me a request to support their benefits, subscribe to their club, enroll in their $20-a-month online games and passtimes – I hope they have on their sunglasses. I might start doin' a little shinin' of my own!

We Are Not Alone! (NASCAR Fans in Austin)!

It ain't easy being a NASCAR fan in in the Capitol of the Lone Star State! Seems my beloved Utopia of a hometown has everything imaginable to offer, with one notable exception: NASCAR fans. I swear there are days when I believe I'm the only NASCAR junkie in town – no race gear and souvies at our local auto parts stores, no Schrader Lil' Debbie cutouts at our convenience stores, no drivers opening new car dealerships on our “motor mile.” Granted, the soda machine at my Home Depot DOES have Tony Stewart on it, but it's from an era when he was rail-skinny and too young to grow whiskers! Hell, our local Wally Martinez has had the same Ryan Newman action figure hanging on the same peg since 2005!

It's not that Austin is oblivious to sports! It's just that most of our local athletic heroes race on the UT gridiron or on 2 wheels under pedal power. We're a town of old hippies, young technoxecutives, dot commers, lawyers, & politicians – none of which seem to attend the Church of the Holy Oval on Sundays. Mention a Bologna Burger or a Martinsville Stain-the-Bun-Red Hotdog to a local, and they'll run screaming from the aisles at Whole Foods. Ask the college kid at the neighborhood Megamedia franchise for the latest copy of NASCAR Illustrated, and he's likely to ask you if it's a coloring book! Yup, being a NASCAR fan in Austin is a lonely task.

But lo and behold – thanks to our local Time Warner Cable team, the folks at Discount Tire, Texas Motor Speedway, the Speed Channel, ESPN, David McDavid Acura and a good old Texas honkey tonk – we FINALLY had a real live NASCAR fans' get together in Austin! And people came! Mostly looking as amazed as I that there were others like us in town! Held at Scholz Garten, the oldest continuously-operating business in Texas (ca. 1866), attendees got a chance to enjoy some of the Austin's finest BBQ and lament over the rainout of the Michigan race, while trading good-natured jabs at one another over racing rivalries. Curiously, it seems that Austin NASCAR fans are a diverse demographic, as I spotted a huge variety of driver “colors” and tees – everything from Sterling Marlin, Dave Blaney, David Gilliland, Carl Edwards, and one poor Gordon fan who took quite a bit of ribbing after winning TWO of the day's door prizes – I believe someone suggested they go through post-win inspection! Conspicuously absent were members of the Jr. Nation – I think I saw one #8 shirt and another fella flying a DEI logo (albeit a small one).

Speaking of “swag” - the prize giveaways were no slouch, either. In addition to cool freebs from TMS (who brought “Ricky Bobby's” show car), Speed, and ESPN; Discount Tire gave away two $500 gift certificates, TMS threw in a VIP ticket package for the upcoming November race, and the finale was a drawing by Time Warner's Channel 8 News staff for an all-expenses paid trip for two to the October Charlotte race. I guess I don't have to tell ya we didn't win – or else you'd be reading about our upcoming travel arrangements! Nonetheless, it was a breath of fresh air to finally meet up with other NASCAR folk, do a little EA video-racing, bust our diets with some good food, and enjoy Sunday's “almost-race” with other locals of our ilk! Can Corn Dogs and Funnel Cakes at organic co-op be far behind?
Mounds of thanks to the event sponsors and to the kind folks at Scholz Garten for a major treat – and here's hoping we can do it again – SOON!

Ugly Dishes, Uglier Weather & Some Damn Fine Music!

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I’m a “dish junkie.” Have been for too many years to count. I’m an obsessed collectaholic, married to another obsessed collectaholic, with a long line of ancestral collectaholics in the ‘ol family tree. In other words, I’m not looking to be cured of the addiction any time soon! I have; however, found a partial solution to make life bearable (and financially feasible) – I buy all the good, old dishes I can find (supports my addiction and need to “prowl”), and sell the stuff I don’t personally collect (yet) to fund more of same! Vicious cycle, I know, but a helluva lot of fun! That brings us to:

The World’s Ugliest Dishes

I have theories. When extraterrestrials arrive on the planet millennia from now, they’ll dig up the remains of the human race and find four things: 1) Nylon 6-Pack Rings; 2) Pampers; 3) Keith Richards; and 4) Royal China Co’s Dinnerware. Yup, transferware. The Holy Trinity of Transferware: Royal Currier & Ives, Colonial Homestead and Olde Curiosity Shoppe!

I am convinced that everyone in the known universe owns, or HAS owned a piece of Royal Transferware. Many refer to them as “Safeway Dishes,” as they were peddled at every grocery store in the free world back in the 60’s. Buy a dinner plate for .10 this week – and next week we’ll sell you the teapot for $1.00. Of course, the elusive teapots were always gone when the long awaited week rolled around, so you simply bought another .10 dinner plate.

No Thrift Shore, Junk Shop, or Flea Market in the US is without a token piece of Royal Transferware. That would be sacrilege! Why? Because you can’t sell the stuff for love nor money right now! It’s ugly! Back in the late 80’s, folks actually decided that this stuff was “collectible” for a while – of course, they were the same folks who liked Disco (tell you anything)? The trend died off quickly (thank God), and the offending dishes have now made their way back into the stream of commerce, clogging it up like a hairball in a drain. NOBODY wants these dishes. Don’t blame ‘em a bit.

So, if you are one of the incredibly rare individuals in the galaxy who has NEVER owned a piece of Royal Transferware, it is your solemn duty to go find a piece (and then get rid of it – if you can). Doing so will fulfill your destiny and give you the inalienable right to utter the immortal words: “Ewwwww! I had that stuff!” the next time you encounter a .10 dinner plate at a garage sale! You can always try to donate your unwanted transferware to the Pygmies in New Guinea, but I think they already have service for 40 and all they need is the teapot lid.

Hurricane Season – 2008

It’s that time of year again – Hurricane Season in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico! Texans react to hurricanes much like a flock of ground-sniffing pigeons to a car horn – they get up real close for a curious look-see and then explode in a feather-flying frenzy when frightened out of their wits – only to return again for another peek when things calm down.

I live in “central” Texas – a couple of hundred miles from the coast. We’ve had a record amount of rain in these parts recently, and flooding is no stranger to Austin. I don’t think; however, that we’ve had a major hurricane travel all the way up Congress Avenue any time in the past, so we’re fairly safe from worst that the Hurricane Gods dish out.

But you can’t convince us of that! Hurricane Dean is crouched at the entrance of the Gulf, promising to be a Category 4 or better when it enters our backyard kiddie pool of lukewarm water. Go try to buy a flashlight or a generator in the Lone Star State right now! Austinites are clearing the shelves of bottled water, batteries, gas cans and battery operated weather radios. Of course, no one in Austin will have use for any of this survival gear – and next Spring you’ll find weather radios, cheap flashlights, and slightly used generators for sale at your local flea market (right on top of the stacks of Royal Transferware). We’ll keep our fingers crossed for the best, though, for our friends further South. I can flush my toilet 3 times fast and flood half of Houston from here!

Moshing Flamingos & Some Great Blues!

I think I’ve found the perfect NASCAR post-race pastime! A free concert and an old movie at Videoranch - the brainchild of Texas’ own Michael Nesmith. Yes – THAT Mike Nesmith! He is remembered by many for his role in The Monkees, but his real claims to fame are the invention of the music video, the impetus for MTV, one of the first commercially successful “Southern” rockers, and his cutting-edge visions of music media which are lightyears ahead of the most savvy in the industry.

Based on the Second Life virtual world platform, Videoranch 3D is an online “resort” featuring live music events, discussion groups, book signings, movies, and more! Mike and Co. have built extremely lifelike and realistic cafés, lounges, saloons, amphitheaters, poolside retreats, drive-in theaters, and tropical islands; as well as some decidedly UN-lifelike fantasy features such as a giant floating Pie-in-the-Sky that can be visited and enjoyed via the avatar of your choice!

After Sunday’s slugfest at Watkins Glen, I found myself – like many racefans – with a surplus of adrenaline that left me wanting for SOMETHING else to do. I found it in spades at the Blue Horizon Amphitheater at Videoranch, where the “house band” Ranch Dressing were treating audiences to a live, streaming concert of incredible blues. In Videoranch, concerts are performed LIVE in the studio, and the band is actually visible live on the Blue Horizon stage. What’s more – the band can “see” the audience by virtue of screens in front of them, they are able to interact with the concert goers during breaks in their set, and avatars can “chat” with the band via keyboard. Sound quality is primo, and raucous classics by Jimmie Reed, John Mayall and Etta James are performed with gusto by an incredible group of musicians. There are no “bic lighters” at VR (yet) – so appreciation for the music is shown by turning oneself into a pink flamingo dancing a jig at the foot of the stage!

After the concert, avatars can “teleport” to the Drive-In theater, where classic movies, accompanied by chat, are a good way to kick back and relax with friends. Of course, during old “gangsta” flicks – users have a tendency to “chat” in the appropriate Cagney-esque lingo: “youse guys should check it out, see?”

I know many groups of NASCAR fans operate racetime “chats” during and after our Sunday roundy rounds, and hope you get a chance to visit Videoranch 3D and blow off post-race steam at this incredible venue! Who knows? If enough of us octane-sniffers haunt the resort – perhaps “Papa Nez” will build us a virtual track!? And wouldn’t an In The Attic podcast look great from the top of a Pie-In-The-Sky? (Yes, Pete & Rachel – it’s a hint!)

You can visit Videoranch 3D here and check out upcoming events!

http://www.videoranch.com/html/frhomepage.html

#$%^$#!!!!! (a term found in weather and racing)!

I’m back! Our recent “liquid” weather in Central Texas spawned a thunderboomer that ate my faithful old laptop a few weeks back. The result has become a true exercise in marital compromise, as hubby Dave is as committed to his online endeavors (World of Warcraft) as I am to mine! We now “share” the gaming PC, and woe be unto the NASCAR fan who wants to use the system during a Naked Gnome Race or a Endgame Guild Raid. Hopefully, we’ll have this dilemma rectified shortly, as soon as I decide whether or not my sanity can handle Windows Vista! It’s been a while since I’ve aggravated myself with a new operating system!

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature!

Seems the Evernham Motorsports staff has finally uncovered a major flaw in their newfangled PLM system dataset. Seems the digitheads at EMS have been testing cars with different dynamics than those that wind up on the track – a MAJOR engineering flaw that languished 5 months without discovery. In response, EMS performed a “system restore” of sorts, and returned to a prior-year car for the Indy race – a move that SHOULD have proven at least somewhat fruitful.

Not much, tho. Listening to the #19 Team’s scanner during the race, it was apparent that Ray Evernham did everything to the ill-handling car but change the paint – all to no avail. At one point, racechat chums and I opined that they should just jack the thing up and shove a 4 x 4 underneath. The good news is – Sadler finished 28th instead of 33rd (again) and to a fan of the Southern Gentleman – it’s an improvement.

Having programmed in a past life (I actually remember some PASCAL & Fortran code and the Unix vi Editor!), I’m fairly certain it will take the EMS techies a few weeks to correct their baseline dataset, regenerate all their engineering data specs, and manufacture parts to comform. No small feat during the final races before the chase, but I’m betting we’ll see some more improvement as time goes along.

One thing is apparent, tho – especially after listening to ESPN’s interviews with Dale Sr.’s former compadres who touted his ability to handle an evil-driving car. Sadler is gaining more than his fair share of similar experience, and the fact that he’s been able to keep ill-handling rides out of walls and other cars will do nothing but improve his performance stats once the bugs are ironed out. Yeah, I’m an optimist!

Expletive (NOT) Deleted!

Talk about instant karma! Just as I was complimenting Tony Stewart on winning a race without issuing accusations and throwing barbs at other drivers – KABOOM. The BS Bomb. ESPN decided to forego it’s broadcasting “safety delay” – apparently believing that former Champion drivers wouldn’t DARE take their 1st Amendment rights to the limit at such a time. Poor judgment on ESPN’s part! I think a new rule of thumb for ANY media entity is to ASSURE a delay is in place before allowing a mic anywhere near the Man in Orange!

Sadly, Tony Stewart’s public behavior has taken such a dismal downward spiral of late, it’s hard for even a Sunshine Pumper like me to look for points on which to defend him. His last forays into public embarrassment have resulted in making light of (and almost advocating) irresponsible alcohol consumption and now Mr. Smoke has shown the world that literacy, articulation, and self-discipline are NOT hallmarks of our sport. Thanks, Tony – you went a long way in maintaining the NASCAR stereotype with your BS! Glad I’m not a parent with a young Stewart fan among my offspring – we’d have to talk!

But is it really ALL Tony’s fault? Granted, he behaves with ever-increasing bitterness and seems to be almost TRYING to offend anyone and everyone who approaches him with a mic – but isn’t that what the media EXPECTS? Or WANTS? Tony “The Mouth” is a story, and I’m going to hand the press a slice of the blame pie for keeping the seemingly endless cycle of bad behavior pedaling along. Stewart has actually been ENCOURAGED by the media to behave badly – hence a weekly “forum” on Sirius where he’s publicized, egged on, and rewarded for bad behavior. I’ve joined the club of “non-listeners” when it comes to Tony’s weekly show – perhaps if enough folks did likewise it would send a message (without using expletives)!

Ladybird Johnson - A Humble Thanks

There is nothing like Springtime in Central Texas! Our summers are best described as “crispy” – ever-present droughts keep things a bit on the “beige” side landscapewise. “Winter” is simply void of color. “Fall” is a mythical season that lasts appx. 15 minutes, if we get it at all.

Spring is an overnight explosion of color – a blast that awakens us from months of dreary shades. A sudden reminder that nature’s rebirth is a miracle. Simply put – I don’t think there’s a Texan alive who doesn’t utter the colloquial “WHOA!” when first presented with that first unexpected view of a Bluebonnet laden hillside or a field of Indian Paintbrushes. Texas wildflowers THE sign of Spring in these parts – an annual rite that we both subconsciously expect, but also marvel at; as if we’re seeing the phenomenon anew each year. Texas wildflowers are the “adrenalin” that kicks us squarely out of our winter slumber and fills us with ambition for things to come.

Hard to imagine that our annual rite of passage is mainly the responsibility of one woman. Ladybird Johnson was, and IS, at the very heart of the miracle that is Texas Springtime. An environmentalist of the highest order, it was Mrs. Johnson who first brought to bear the “Highway Beautification Act” of 1965 that brought our gemlike wildflowers out of hiding in the nooks and crannies of the Hill Country and placed them foresquare across the land. It was her love of native flora that prompted her to share the beauty of God’s most delicate creations with all Texans. Ladybird Johnson gave us our wildflowers.

Mrs. Johnson passed away yesterday at age 94. She turned a life of political darkness into a lifetime of service to the cosmos. What a woman – what a legacy!

Thanks for the flowers, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks for Springtime.

EMS, PLM & COT (e.i.e.i.o!)

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across an Industry Week Magazine webcast entitled 'Redefining the Race: How Evernham Motorsports' PLM Strategy Drives NASCAR's Most Innovative Race Team.' While the webcast is primarily a promotional piece for EMS’ engineering software provider, Dassault Systemes, I found it an extremely enlightening view into the inner workings of EMS – and into a few of the current “non-workings” as well!

Evernham uses the “PLM” (Product Lifecycle Management) business model to field cars each week. Simply put, PLM is the process of managing the entire lifecycle of a product from its conception, through design and manufacture, to service and disposal. Using PLM methodologies, EMS functions as an automobile manufacturing company – one that has to bring a new product to market 36 times a year! PLM cuts time to market drastically, but is manpower and equipment heavy – two factors which require considerable capital. Capital, as we all know, is in short supply in many NASCAR teams nowdays – thanks in no small part to the new “product” that must now be brought to market – the COT.

One point made during the webcast was the ability of EMS’s PLM software to access shop data from the track during raceday, and and to communicate online with realtime engineers from the track. In a perfect techno-world, Josh Browne would be able to enter track, performance, weather, surface, temp, etc. variables into his laptop atop the pit box – and voila! The computer would indicate the needed adjustments based on these variables. Problem is – no historical data exists yet for many of the variables faced this season – new track surfaces, new nosecones on existing cars, funky weather, new tire compounds. In effect there may well be too many “first-time” situations facing EMS this season to make their investment in the PLM discipline pay off in the near term.

So, until EMS’s Magic 8 Ball starts producing useful information – we experience mediocrity. Heavy reliance on technology for crucial solutions doesn’t always deliver, and there are times when all the pocket-protector wearing, geek speaking race technobes in the world can’t help if they are unable to effectively handle the one CONSTANT that exists each week – communication with the driver.

To my knowledge, no software company has been able to successfully code “The Sadler Variable.” In order to correctly interpret the data coming from the driver of the #19 car (and every other car, for that matter) – it takes an entirely different set of HUMAN skills. Sadly, it’s these skills that seem strained on both sides of the scanner on raceday – and frustration is becoming increasingly apparent. This translates to the fan base as conflict between driver and crew chief. Whether such conflict actually exists is the cause of much speculation in the peanut gallery, and the sudden appearance of “Sports Psychologists” in the halls of EMS. I wish them luck – finding a perfect fit between driver and crew chief, particularly one that can survive the stresses and strains of a mediocre season, is NOT an easy task. If a personnel change is in the cards for the #19 team, it’s a sure-fire bet that MORE resources ($$$) will be required in order to tie up contracts.

I realize I’m often accused of being a cockeyed optimist when it comes to the #19 – but in this case I still think my stubborn loyalty is rightly placed. The #19 has finished every race (remember all the blown motors last year?), has stayed out of the wall, has minimized pit row penalties, and has had mid-pack finishes despite all the factors seemingly working against a win. Taken in context, the 2007 Season can boast MANY improvements over 2006, but fans have short-term memory when it’s been a while since the last trip to victory lane.

And for the record, I think EMS will eventually win the REAL Chase this year -- The 2007 Race To The Bank will help them bring home some Cup trophies before too long.

I'm Baaaack!

Yep, I had the crud. And did it up right, too! “Acute bronchitis” was the doc-in-the-box’s diagnosis, and I resisted the urge to tell him that I fail to see anything cute about coughing up chunks. Nonetheless, with nothing but time on my hands for the last four days, I had every intention of making my convalescence productive. Update the blog, catch up on my reading, work on some crafts – NOT! Thanks to some magic formula cough syrup in a brown prescription bottle, I discovered that it’s pretty near impossible to type (let alone read) while unconscious. Nevertheless, the goop did the trick and I’m back to my (ab)normal self. Soooooo……

It’s 6.7 Now, Right?

Dave and I heard the news last night and, in unison, we cried “He’s changed his numberrrrrrrrr!” That’s right – Junior is leaving DEI -- and in what has to be the most media-savvy move of the decade -- he’s left it at that. In the span of a few hours, the media (and the public) have commenced churning out every scenario imaginable with regard to Little E. The Childress/Hendrick deals are obviously the most popular theories, but I’ve come up with a few hypothesis of my own for your consideration. How ‘bout:

- HRM/JR Motorsports, Ltd.: In secret meetings in KY last week, The King met with the Queen regarding the formation of a joint Euro/American racing team with the unlimited resources of the British Empire (the only possible way to compete with Hendrick). With the full intention of courting Dale Jr., her majesty promised that Tony would be retained as Crew Chief, consequently Blair announced his resignation as Prime Minister today.

- Jr. LIVE!: Not to be outdone by Tony Stewart -- Jr. simply sets the stage for his new Sirius Radio program by creating controversial call-in subject matter in advance. “Tell Me Where To Go!” with Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is expected to eclipse Smoke’s show in popularity.

- Crazy Mutant Desert Guys Motorsports, Inc.: Dale unwittingly discovered the ultimate pit crew during the filming of his Superbowl commercial, and is building a truly “indie” team around his new friends.

- “I’m just messin with ya’ll. I’m staying with DEI. No harm done, huh?”

I’m sure there are one or two more I’ve not thought of yet, but hey -- I been sick!

OK, back to music for a bit…..

I had a lifelong dream fulfilled last night!! Pete Townshend’s long-lost and legendary Lifehouse Method project has at last become reality. Method went “online” yesterday, and I was able to “sit” for two musical portraits using the new system. I’m completely enthralled with the end result and totally humbled by the fact that I’m participating in an endeavor which fulfills Pete’s lifelong dream to see this project through.

If you’re in eye-shot of this blog – I urge you to “sit” for a composition. But first, you ask, just what is Lifehouse Method? Well, let me go back in time a bit to explain……………

It was one of those experiences that gets indelibly burned into the brain. I was 13 years old and babysitting for some friends across the street from my parents’ house in Conroe , Texas -- nearly midnight , and my charges were fast asleep. The patriarch of the household was a stereophile who had amassed an incredible system equipped with a pair of Koss headphones so massive with insulation they weighed a ton. Late night FM radio in Houston was still a rather dubious affair – the infamous Crash Collins was known for his smoky growl and strange “inhaling” noises while spinning the some really heavy vinyl and the tell-tale spaces of dead air (indicating that he’d once again nodded out). I wasn’t allowed to listen to such “garbage” at home.

Collins must have had some really good stuff that night, because he decided (perhaps inadvertently) to spin an entire album side (rare in those days) from the Who’s 1971 album “Who’s Next.” Townshend, the creative force behind the Who, had earlier in 1969 penned the first Rock Opera – "Tommy" – and I remember thinking “Well, if this is half as good……” When the opening synthesizer riff began, I was instantly mesmerized as if something internal was vibrating in harmony with the song. As Townshend’s initial power chord struck, I was totally captivated. When Entwistle’s thunderous bass finally joined the fray, I was awestruck, captivated and I knew I had found my anthem – Baba O’Riley! I immediately struck out to learn more about the album, the band, and eventually the concept that lay underneath some of the best rock-n-roll ever heard!

I was surprised to learn that the hypnotic synth riff that opens “Baba” was actually constructed using personal DATA about Townshend’s Spiritual Leader, Meher Baba, that had been somehow fed into an algorithm which transformed it into music! In fact, the entire Who’s Next album was indeed a collection of songs salvaged from a failed project conceived by Pete to gather vital statistics from individuals and reflect this information back to the audience in the form of music. “Lifehouse” as the project was called, was another rock opera of sorts – a story set in the future when humanity was controlled by the government via stimuli force-fed to them over a “GRID” – a hardwired information network with leads to each individual called “experience suits.” The protagonists in Townshend’s story were rebels who managed to free humanity by hacking into the Grid and flooding it with music. This music, created by their own algorithms, culminated in a crescendo so powerful and celestial it took down the Grid.

While the story was fiction (at the time) – Pete’s desire to find the “lost chord” via synthesized information wasn’t. Additionally, he aimed to make performance a two-way street wherein the audience participated in the creative process. At one point, Townshend had actually gathered a group of subjects in the Old Vic Theater in London to attempt this artist/audience interaction. The project failed mainly due to the fact that Townshend lacked the complex technical equipment to process the information. The few songs he had written to score the original Lifehouse opera were pieced together and released as the seminal “Who’s Next.” Practically no one knew the backstory!

By the time I had discovered Who’s Next, Lifehouse had already faded into rock-n-roll lore, rarely mentioned by journalists and audiophiles. What a shame, I thought – that such an enigmatic idea should languish. Lifehouse was always on my list of musical “if onlys.”

And then, along came the Grid.

I have to snicker to myself whenever the argument over “who predicted the internet” points an appreciative finger in Al Gore’s direction. As the net grew, many remembered Townshend’s vision of a society grown complacent compliments of their addiction to an orchestrated information feed. New technology flooded the music industry, allowing artists to experiment with input, output and everything in between. In 1999, Townshend resurrected Lifehouse, finally mixing and re-arranging the now classic Who’s Next tracks back into their original form.

The world finally heard the Lifehouse opera on BBC Radio on December 5, 1999 – but it was simply a “performance” and NOT the collaborative effort Townshend’s rebels of the Grid. In order to truly complete Lifehouse – the music had to be a 2 way street.

Enter Mathemetician/Compser/Philosopher Lawrence Ball, Programmer Dave Snowdon. Since 1999, Pete has ridden the helm of an ambitious endeavor to create the software program that would allow an individual to provide personal samples/images/data and have the information transmographied into a unique musical “portrait.” An interpretive work of audio art particular to one person – reflective of their mood, voice, etc. The final piece of the Lifehouse puzzle was finally complete, and on May 1, 2007 it was put into place – The Method went public.

Initially, participants may “sit” for 3 pieces of music. In order to interact with the software, you are asked to provide a sample of your voice, an image, a sound, and a rhythm. In return, the system composes your 5-minute musical portrait. The results are astounding! The Method will be open to the public until July, and eventually many of the “portraits” will be combined into a larger work which will be performed live! Having spent many decades wondering “what if” with regards to Lifehouse – I can say I am absolutely elated that my "what if" dream has at long last turned into a reality that exceeded my expectations tenfold!

Be a rebel and sit for your own musical portrait!

www.lifehouse-method.com

Listen to yourself in an entirely new way!

Monday Mulling…….

Whaddya know!…..
I guess NASCAR radar must have picked up a signal from the hinterlands! The Talladega Freight Train came and went with only a few debris cautions and voila! We saw debris!!! Of course, Talladega is a convenient place for NASCAR to redeem itself. Face it – there’s not much need to “bunch up” the pack when you have 43 cars that actually WANT to run single file! But I’ll give ‘em credit for making sure WE knew that something was on the track when the yellow flew. Let’s see what shows up on TV screens at the next few intermediate tracks where a REAL motive exists for “manipulation” of the pack!

Verborrhea…….
I can’t get inside of Tony Stewart’s head. If I could, I’d probably hear: “I showed ‘em it’s not a good idea for me to speak to the press immediately after I fail to win a race!”

He would be right. Smoke’s comments directed at David Gilliland after Sunday’s race were harsh, derrogatory, bullying and just flat crossed the line. Lousy timing, Tony! Remember – you bolstered many fans' & mediamembers' “perceptions” that NASCAR was dealing off the bottom with bogus cautions. Just when we (and NASCAR) seemingly took you seriously and we saw that constructive measures MIGHT occur in response to your tirade – you pitch an adolescent hissy fit and move from the “torch bearer” category to the “petulant buffoon” column in less than 10 words! I’ll bet Helton is breathing a HUGE sigh of relief! Way to go, idjit! Do me a favor, Tony..... shut up and drive for a while, OK? Stop acting like a no-talent broadcaster who simply lucked into a radio show!

Burning (flipping, spinning, banging) Busch……
If you believe in Karma – I’m sure you’ll agree that Kyle Busch’s cosmic slate ought to be clean after Saturday & Sunday’s wrecks. Over the course of the weekend, I received SEVERAL calls from anti-Shrub buddies saying “Poor kid - I feel sorry for him!” So do I! Kyle is a talented driver who is still a few years shy in the age department of reaching public maturity (an excuse Tony DOES NOT have for shooting off at the mouth). Besides, compared to The Man In Orange lately, Kyle's downright eloquent!

Happy Birthday!......
It's Elliott Sadler's birthday, so here's wishing him a very happy 32nd!

Local Stuff......
Got to spend the day at Thunderhill Raceway (a/k/a "My Classroom") in Kyle, Texas this past Saturday. I love this place! I typically get a better education in a few hours at this track than I could possibly glean by reading the net & watching TV. I'm still trying to gain some familiarity with the myriad series that run here -- but the variety is amazing. On Saturday, we watched everything from Ford Pintos & Karmann Ghias battling like crazy, to NASKARTS (I want one), to Legends (mini-IROCs?), Late Models (cars I actually RECOGNIZE from my youth), Hobby Stocks (Aunt Edna's Buick) & TSRS Modifieds (vroom)!

Once again, our benevolent Jedi came down from Big D with his RV, so we had a primo place to cool off and catch up on the Busch race. Ringside seats at the drivers' meeting and weigh-ins were a treat, and Dave (ever the carpenter) even got tapped to help build the Victory Lane Backdrop! We even came home with some "souvies" -- 2 more SRT's! (Stinky Racing Tires!) I feel a pair of end-tables coming on!